


Reborn: The Act, The Person, And the Chaos That Comes From Both

by Mizudoriko



Series: KHR Shenanigans [1]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Adult Arcobaleno, Any violence included is Reborn's fault, Arcobaleno Shenanigans, Authoress Came Up With An Alternate Origin For Leon Just Because, Authoress also has no idea where this is going, But there is some changing POVs thrown in there, Coffee, General Mafianess, Graphic Depictions of Dead People, He doesn't realize they are the same people, He's literally a child, Italian Mafia, Leon Centric, Leon Origin Story, Leon is just so done and a little (read: a lot) traumatized, Post-Curse, Pre-Curse, Reborn is just amused, Reborn thinks he's a genius, SI/OC as Leon, Small Kid As Leon, Timoteo also thinks Leon (the lizard) is named after Leon (the kid), lots of coffee
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-22 16:43:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 38
Words: 38,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13768275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mizudoriko/pseuds/Mizudoriko
Summary: Or in other words, Leon wasn't always Leon or Test Subject 0001 of Experiment 0444.In which Reborn is unamused that Leon is not simply a lizard that he found on a job assassinating certain scientists of the Estraneo Famiglia, but instead, a shapeshifting lizard that spends half(most) of their time being a lime haired toddler. He really should have known better that anything coming from that place is anything but simply what they seem.So the World's Greatest Hitman gets saddled with a kid that he denies ever wanting but can't seem to get rid of. And then someone *Cough*Reborn*Cough* gets the genius idea that shapeshifting lizards make great hitmen...things just quite literally get shot to hell from there on.And Tsuna wonders why Reborn is allowed to be a tutor...he's got to have experience from somewhere.But experiments from the Extraneo Lab and normal(not really) civilians do not match upOf course, Reborn didn't seem to get the memo...poor Tsuna.(The first few chapters are really short, it gets longer later on.)





	1. Consciousness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tavina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tavina/gifts).



**[Entry 1: Date Unknown]**

Okay....

So...is anybody there?

_Hello~?_

 

 


	2. Darkness

**[Entry 2: Date Unknown]**

Honestly, it’s really dark in here.

It’s cold too.

Like really, really cold.

And dark.


	3. Questions

**[Entry 3: Date Unknown]**

I can’t see my hands.

Wait, I can’t move my hands either.

Am I in a coma?


	4. Claustrophobic

**[Entry 4: Date Unknown]**

Where the heck am I?

It’s still really dark and cold, but the space I have is running out.

The walls are smooth but curved.

Have I been taken hostage?

I’m sure at least a couple of days have passed.

I haven’t eaten anything.

I’m pretty sure I should be thirsty or hungry by now.

But I’m not.


	5. Humanity

**[Entry 5: Date Unknown]**

I am certain that humans need both food and water for survival, but it seems that I don’t.

Am I still human?

I can’t see.

Can’t move.

Can’t really feel anything but the cold and the confines of my prison as I had taken to calling it.

I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have survived the accident.

So where am I?

Am I dead?

Is this the afterlife?

If it is, I don’t know what I did to warrant this.

Help?

Anyone?

 


	6. Counting

**[Entry 6: Date Unknown]**

More time has passed.

I’ve been counting the seconds since a while ago to stop myself from going insane.

It’s been 777624 seconds.

777628…

Also, my prison is getting smaller.

Or is it that I am getting bigger?

I don’t know.

There many things that I don’t know anymore.

 

 


	7. Determination

**[Entry 7: Date Unknown]**

It’s getting too tight in here.

I have to get out.

 

 


	8. Hatching

**[Entry 8: Hatch Date_4/14/XXXX]**

I got out.

It was hard, but I managed, the walls of my prison were surprisingly flimsy.

I wonder what material they are made of.

The Outside isn’t dark.

It’s the exact opposite, a blinding white.

There are many more of the prisons, all of them are like mine, but unbroken.

Wait.

Are those…

_Eggs?!_


	9. Chameleon

**[Entry 9: Hatch Date+3 minutes]**

I am a lizard.

I don’t know exactly what type of lizard I am.

But I am a lizard. The legs, tail, and scales are proof of that. This is so weird...

I'm also in some sort of incubator.

Not the wild.

Was I reincarnated? It's the only reasonable experience, that or I am tripping  _hard_ on some hospital meds.

I think that was what happened...the reincarnation part I mean. I'm not a particularly spiritual or religious person, but I hope I've been reincarnated. I'm not exactly the type to wish to spend the rest of my life in some hospital bed.

Even if I am now a lizard of all things.

Now, I need to get out of the incubator…

 


	10. Incubator

**[Entry 10: Hatch Date+10 minutes]**

Is it just me, or is this incubator ginormous?

There’s like, twenty eggs in here.

Also, I can’t find a way out, maybe someone will check it later.

Please let someone check later, I don't want to die so soon after my "new" life.

The suspense is killing me, honestly. Can't the minutes go by faster?


	11. The Man

**[Entry 11: Hatch Date+1 Day]**

There is a man.

I have decided:

I don’t like this man.

He’s opened the incubator and is now trying to pick me up.

Keyword being _trying._

I am running away from his hand and it’s exhausting.

He caught me...I hate how his hands feel.

Can I bite it? His hands, I mean.

Lizards have teeth, right?

Oh, I seem to have developed large and very pointy teeth.

I wonder why I didn’t notice them before.

Well, I know what to do with them.

He screams.

It’s a very girly scream.

I melt.

Into…a blob of…?

Huh.

I can shapeshift?

What even is this madness?

I thought I was a lizard but somehow I am now not.

The Man is mad.

He’s trying to catch me again while cursing, at least...I think he is cursing.

I don’t understand the language.

Sounds like Spanish.

But I know Spanish, to an extent anyway.

So this is not Spanish.

_Cazzo_

Isn't that Italian?

* * *

 

**[1 minute Later]**

* * *

 

I can’t avoid him for very long.

Someone take me away, please?

I wish I had human limbs again.

Something inside  _shifts_ , it's mildly uncomfortable, and somehow, I am now a small child.

It seems that my shapeshifting lizard abilities extend far beyond what I previously imagined, it comes institutionally.

Not that I really had much time to think on whatever my new definitely  _not normal_ abilities.

This needs further experimentation later.

Just after I get the hell out of here.

 


	12. Escape

**[Entry 12: 2 Days]**

I have escaped the room a while ago.

It turns out I can be invisible as well.

My invisibility seems to wear off after a while.

But the shapeshifting doesn’t.

I wonder why.

There are probably cameras around here, being invisible for longer periods of time would be beneficial.

I need to be careful, people like the Man keep showing up where my invisibility wears off.

It's getting harder to hide.


	13. Running

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Italics" means Leon himself thinking  
> 'Italics' is other Leon talking

**[Entry 13: 2 **½ Days]****

I've made a mistake, one that I think may cost me my new found "freedom".

 _"Stupid,_ stupid _me. You know that the invisibility wears off after half an hour and takes about an hour to recharge!"_

And yet I seem to have forgotten about my little time limit by allowing myself to stay too long in the hallways. I'd developed a strategy of "go invisible and explore, trying to find a way out for half an hour, before then finding a hiding place by shapeshifting back to a smaller form.". It was actually kinda fun if you take out the heart in mouth moments as a scientist or guard that you know is looking for you passes by. I had fun turning into miscellaneous small items like a random paperclip here or a snippet of sticky-note there. I reserved my childlike form for covering more distance.

But I had forgotten about safely transforming into something else before my time ran out and now I am paying the price for it by running away from a group of scientists and guards chasing after me. I can hear them talking loudly and frantically in that weird language that I am now 90% is Italian.

Curse my stubby toddler legs.

By now I don't even know where I am going, I'm just simply running down hallways at full speed trying to take as many unexpected turns as possible, surely there must be a room I can duck into without them noticing somewhere? If there is one, I'd be able to transform into something and hide again until they leave. Unfortunately for me, the hallways I'm traversing seem to be full of locked doors and pristine white cells, making me suppress a shudder.

_"Gee, I wonder what they're doing here, oh I don't know, human experimentation?!!"_

That actually made a surprising amount of sense, why else would they have mutant shapeshifting lizards?

I suppose I'm smarter than the rest of my "siblings", I doubt that all of them are reincarnations of dead teenagers.

But really, how did I get stuck in a  _lizard_ of all things?!

 _'Chameleon,'_ a small voice corrects from somewhere of the back of my mind.

 _"Thanks whatever you are, that was sooo helpful. Wait-"_ I stumble for a moment before taking off again, "I'm hearing voices in my head, have I gone insane?"

_'Probably, I'm actually just you.'_

"What."

_'I'm you. In order to stay sane you kinda, maybe, sorta...split your consciousness to stay sane?'_

" _WHAT_."

_'Yeah, you put all of the important knowledge into me before sending me to sleep until I'm needed again and only reserved the bare basics of a consciousness for yourself. That is why ten months passed so quickly for you.'_

"A chameleon takes  _ten months_ to hatch?!"

_'Yup.'_

"Dear God."

_'We're an atheist, remember?'_

"Not the time, Other Me."

_'Ha, pulling a Yu-Gi-Oh! reference?'_

"Of course, getting a second life means I'm gonna do everything I wanted to do in this one, consequences be damned."

_'That means all the references, doesn't it? Oh, oh! We can be total trolls this time around~!'_

"Glad we are in agreement~"

_'Of course, we are technically the same perso —turn right!'_

"SHIIIIIIIT almost missed that corner."

_'There, we should probably change into a paperclip or something again.'_

"In the middle of a hallway?"

_'Why not? It's not as if they're all that observant, right?'_

"Right."

As soon as I finish shifting into a lizard the group behind me catch up,

"Eccolo!" (There!)

"Qualcuno, veloce ottiene il contenitore!"(Quick, someone get the container!)

_'Uh oh...'_

Famous last words.

What seemed like a gigantic glass suction cup is promptly dropped over me and it starts pulling air out of the enclosed space that I find myself in.

_"Shit, there's not enough oxygen..."_

Distantly I hear alarms begin to ring.

And then gunshots.

Five shots, to be specific.

One for each of the people surrounding me, they fall like puppets with strings cut, blood pooling on the floor.

The last thing I see before I pass out from oxygen deprivation are some extremely expensive looking black dress shoes.

"Bene, cosa abbiamo qui?" (Well, what do we have here?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As for why Leon is surprising eloquent in this chapter and not in any of the previous ones is because, as was stated earlier in this chapter, he split his consciousness and shoved the most important bits of it into the other one. Transforming into a small humanoid child was the trigger for the other consciousness to awaken, causing the other half to slowly begin trying to reintegrate some parts of the original personality back into him. So Leon's animalistic tendencies start to decrease and they begin to have a more complex thought pattern.
> 
> Fun fact: None of the other eggs survive as the experiment was actually a failure, the only reason why Leon survived was that his deceased soul got shoved into the dead chameleon embryo's body since his soul is not from the same world, surprisingly this caused the body to start functioning again. The Estraneo do know that Leon is in fact 0001 because it really isn't hard to connect the shapeshifting lizard that disappeared when Reborn assassinated a few of their top scientists to the shapeshifting lizard that Reborn has on his shoulder all the time immediately after the incident. Fortunately for them, they are not suicidal, so they do not try to reclaim Leon. They instead try the experiment again, each time being met with failure since they don't have wandering souls from other worlds accidentally possessing a chameleon body laying around.
> 
> So, no more chameleons like Leon...
> 
> Reborn denies that he cares about the possibilities of others like Leon, though he does make Leon revisit and destroy all the experimental data on the experiment as "training".
> 
> Years later the Estraneo is destroyed by Mukuro, sooo...
> 
>  
> 
> Also, this fic is for my elder sister Tavina in honour of the first anime she ever watched, you can check her work out on fanfiction.net with the same username.


	14. Crying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So last time, Leon was knocked out from oxygen deprivation when Reborn decided, "Hey, lizards make great pets," picked Leon up, and took him to one of his safe houses. 
> 
> Fortunately for Leon, he's the adaptable sort.
> 
> Unfortunately for Reborn, he's also the vengeful sort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a side note: Has anyone else ever accidentally closed a tab and then lose over 1,000 words of a story because it apparently didn't save?

**[Entry 14: 3 days]**

The first thought I have when I finally regain consciousness is:

_Where the hell am I?_

And the second:

_Someone needs to tell the dude from before that shoes are not supposed to be that expensive. That, and he really needs to use that money to buy something better, like chocolate._

Well, maybe that was more than one thought, but instead, a bunch of them jumbled together, but they all relate to each other, so it’s one topic.

I blearily shuffle my limbs around a bit in an attempt to get up.

_It’s weirdly warm in here…_

And then I see it.

A branch.

Why is there a branch—and holy crap that is a huge light bulb.

Flinching backward in surprise while questioning if I’m back inside the incubator, I start making plans for escape.  It would make sense that I’m back at the lab since I am 78% sure that the light bulb is one of those heat lamps found in incubators.

Yet there are no eggs in here.

Why is there a gigantic light—heat lamp—bulb when there are no eggs to incubate?

_Wait, it actually wouldn’t make any sense if I’m back in the incubator, there are mini ferns growing around here._

Looking down, I find that I’m standing—laying?—on sand? And there is also a whole lot of dirt. Dirt and sand are not the only thing there, there’s also moss. Of course, I can’t forget any of the rocks either.

Huh, I’ve officially become someone’s pet. It’s the only explanation I have for this.

Mildly impressed, I muse about who saved me from the lab since it is the last place I remember being in, whoever they are must have somehow gotten me out of there.

They also spent quite some time making everything as realistic as possible. Further examination reveals that all of the things in this terrarium are brand new, the moss and ferns were planted probably less than twelve hours ago.

I was quite lost in my examination of my new home when a distinctly masculine voice speaks,

“Sembrerebbe che ora sei sveglio.”(It would seem that you are now awake)

I blink, or try to because chameleons apparently cannot blink, and walk a little closer to the glass wall separating me from who I assume is my new “owner”, if I get to have my way, I’ll be out of here and into the great wide world in no time.

Alas, it was not to be,

_“Hey, me, Other Me, are you seeing what I’m seeing?”_

It takes a while for them to reply, speaking of which, we need names to differentiate between the two of us,

_‘Of course, we are the same person. And I agree on getting different names, it would make sorting through our memories a lot easier.’_

_“You are sorting through our memories?”_

_‘Yes, and organizing them, don’t be surprised if you get a sudden influx of information every now and then.’_

_“Well, tell me if you see a guy wearing what looks like an expensive looking custom-made three-piece suit oozing enough danger that even I register it.”_

_‘Yup, I see him too.’_

So he isn’t some weird hallucination that my oxygen deprived brain came up with,

_“Huh, glad to know that I am not seeing things.”_

_‘Do you see his_ eyes _?’_

I look up to take in the face since I had been only focusing on the clothing, trying to figure out what brand it was,

_“Yeah, I have no idea how they can be that black, you can’t even see the pupils!”_

Mysterious Person decides to speak up after they finish their examination of me that they’ve been conducting while I was doing the same,

“Il tuo nome è ora Leon.” (Your name is now Leon.)

Hearing the same language that the people back at the Lab used brings up memories best left forgotten— like nearly suffocating—and it colors my impression of him with negativity,

_“Sorry dude with the fedora, I don’t speak jerk.”_

Other me seems exasperated at my childishness, even though we are quite literally, a child,

_‘Why do you automatically assume that he is a jerk?’_

_“Duh, just look at him. Try and tell me that he isn’t a jerk.”_

They can only concede to my argument,

_‘Good point.’_

I observe him some more, feeling oddly nostalgic,

_“Hey, do we know him?”_

_‘I don’t think so, but he seems familiar somehow.’_

_“I think he is the Expensive Shoes dude.”_

_‘True, it does make sense since it would match his expensive taste in clothing.’_

The newly dubbed “Expensive Shoes” dude reaches a hand out to open the top of the terrarium before holding out the other hand for me to climb on.

Or that is what I assume he is trying to do.

_“Should we bite him? Like that Scientist dude?”_

_‘Ah,_ no _, are you suicidal? We are a lizard at the current moment. Remember Expensive Shoes is the prime suspect for_ shooting _all of those scientists.’_

_“Oh...right. Yup, no biting.”_

Expensive Shoes clicks his tongue in annoyance and picks me up before taking his hand out of the terrarium.

“Sei un testardo, vero, Leon?” (You are a stubborn one, aren’t you, Leon?)

“Non importa, ti farò collaborare,” He sets me down on his shoulder. (No matter, I’ll get you to cooperate.)

I have no idea on what he’s saying, but I do know the smirk that he’s wearing is annoying. For some reason, I have a feeling that this would become a constant in my second life.

It’s worrying.

Worrying makes me twitchy.

A twitchy me means retribution in the form of pranks,

_‘I can just imagine us sitting in front of him with the most deadpan expression we can muster while saying, “English, do you speak it?”’_

_“We can totally do that, it’s a great prank idea. Just imagine his face~”_

_‘He may not take that all too well...remember the dead people.’_

_“I don’t see a gun on him right now…”_ I eyeball Expensive Shoes with apprehension.

_‘That’s not the point.’_

_“...”_

_‘My thoughts exactly’_

_“....I still think we should do it.”_

_‘I can’t stop you if you’re really going to do it. I’m just the metaphorical angel on your shoulder pointing out the risks.’_

_“Ok, we are definitely doing this.”_

_‘Alright, I’ll get the tears ready in case we need to cry our way out of this.’_

_“Thanks, you ready?”_

_‘Yup~’_

_“Step one to becoming a great (terrible) troll! Or in other words, a royal pain in the neck and a menace to society.”_

I crawl to the front of his suit before pausing and looking up to see him watching me with amusement.

_Here goes…_

Aaaand I’m a kid again.

Not surprisingly, he dropped me like shapeshifting lizard children were going out of fashion before pulling a gun seemingly out of nothing and pointing it at me.

_“Wow, scary. But totally worth it.”_

Busting out the tears, I cried like there was no tomorrow.

The face he made?

Absolutely. Priceless.

_‘Wow, I didn’t know that he was capable of looking anything but smug, add constipated to his emotional range.’_

_“You forgot to put arrogant on the list.”_

_‘Thanks for the reminder.’_

But I wasn’t done, and so, I cry harder and start wailing loudly because I have a strange feeling that I need him on my side. Almost like foreshadowing… That and he is perfectly capable of killing me with the gun he has in his hand whenever he wants and I really don’t want to die yet.

“Che cosa nel mondo?”(What in the world?) He relaxes, well, as much as he seems capable of, before kneeling down to my diminutive height, “Sei forte, vero?”(You’re a loud one, aren’t you?)

I carry on crying him a river in what looks to be his bedroom—the bed in the corner was a dead giveaway—even though I doubt anyone needs a river in a bedroom much less a house.

 _Dead_ giveaway? Ha, puns~

It would seem that my crying is disconcerting him—or maybe he is annoyed and he realizes I pose the same amount of threat as a dead cockroach to him—since he lowers the gun—doesn’t put it down or away though—and reaches a hand toward me with barely perceptible hesitance.

“Lì, lì. Smetti di piangere, Leon.”(There, There. Stop crying, Leon.)The words were laced with annoyance and exasperation, “Non ho intenzione di farti del male.” (I’m not going to hurt you.)

I move back, just out of reach, I do not trust that hand of his one bit.

Still bawling the entire time, though toned down because crying is _exhausting_.

Expensive Shoes sighs, there is a moment of shock that I stop crying when I find myself suddenly not sitting on the ground and being carried out of the bedroom before I resume my fountain impression slightly louder than before.

All the while burying my tear-streaked face into his tailor-made suit.

Hopefully, it's ruined.

_Serves you right for being a sneaky ninja. I didn’t even see or feel you pick me up until I somehow ended up in your arms._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried making the scene as in character as possible and I hope it worked. I welcome all and any suggestions and/or critique on how to make it better.
> 
> Chapter Notes:  
> -Leon doesn't actually know his name is Leon because he doesn't understand Italian.  
> -Reborn continues calling Leon, Leon because he doesn't know if Leon has another name and decided that even if he did he's still going to be Leon.  
> -Leon will eventually realize where he ended up and who Reborn is, just not right now because there isn't anything to clue him in yet. Before he died, he never watched beyond the first episode of the anime or read the manga(like me...)but he does know a lot of canon events due to the time he spent researching on the internet. So Leon will later know what things happen, but not when or with much detail. (he really shouldn't have skimmed through all those wiki pages...)  
> -Leon is capable of speaking English, a smattering of Spanish, and the bare minimum of Chinese. Reborn later finds out he can speak English, though he is still going to teach Leon Italian. (No more Google Translate, YAY!)  
> -Yes, Reborn was the one that got everything in the terrarium and yes, he was the one that set everything up. Since I doubt he has random terrariums laying around I decided that in this case, everything will be brand new.


	15. Gluttony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Reborn finds out exactly how motivated Leon can be for the sake of chocolate.

**[Entry 15: 3 ½ Days]**

Clutching the front of Expensive _EVERYTHING_ dude—making sure to wrinkle the fabric—I sniffle loudly while observing each room we pass.

How many flipping rooms does this house have?

Is this a mansion?

But there are no servants!

How rich is this guy?

He’s unbelievable.

And... _is that mahogany?!_

Squirming in his vice-like grip I try to look up, and when he doesn’t seem to let up, I squeeze out a sob through my tired throat.

It yields immediate results, he doesn't seem to know what to do with crying children, or just children, period.

Also, is it just me or is this guy really warm?

Like, furnace warm.

Yeah probably just me, chameleons are cold-blooded creatures…

_‘We should probably eat soon.’_

_“Really?”_

_‘Yes, unless you want to faint from energy over-expenditure.’_

I stiffen,

_“That can happen?”_

_‘Yes.’_

_“How are we going to get food though? Expensive Shoes is more likely to throw us out on the streets than take care of us.”_

_‘You forget that he murdered people, I highly doubt that the scientist people don’t know it was him who murdered a bunch of them due to the cameras, and he handles a gun with surprising familiarity. All these factors point to the fact that he is used to and not afraid to kill people.’_

_“Meaning if he wanted to kill us he could have when he had the gun out.”_

_‘Precisely. Do you think the scientist people know this location that he’s staying at?’_

_“If he does have experience with this kind of thing, probably not. As supposedly good as he is at killing people, they have the advantage of numbers.”_

_‘So if he throws us out in the streets, it’s a breach of security.’_

_“And he is not going to kill us anytime soon...so maybe I can persuade him to feed me?”_

_‘By persuasion, you mean to throw another temper tantrum.’_

_“Of course, but first I’ll try doing it the  charades method.”_

I tune back in with reality as I stopped concentrating inwards to talk with Other Me only to find that Expensive Shoes dude has stopped as well.

He’s also tense and pointing a gun at me again.

Whoops?

I guess me blanking freaked him out.

The only way to fix this: Tears with a side dish of cute.

Deep breath, screw up my face—

“So che lo stai fingendo,”(I know you are faking it.)He cuts me off, unamused, “Quindi non iniziare nemmeno.”(So don’t even start.)

“Aaaaaaaaah?” Great, I’ve now been reduced to baby talk in order to coerce him, really, does anyone speak English around here?

“Parla correttamente.”(Speak properly.)

“aaaaAAH!” Also known as code for: Pick me up it’s freezing on this table!

Why do I feel so cold? Now that I’m paying attention to it, it is unusual, I didn’t feel cold before…

_‘You need food, remember. And, the Possible Assassin person has some sort of weird power, it was regulating our temperature for us during the entire time we were being carried.’_

Food. I suppose this means that I need it, and fast.

Charades it is then, I open my mouth and point at it while tilting my head to the side before then reaching my hands out to him, the universal sign for: Pick me up or else.

Maybe not or else, I’m incapable of doing anything to him at the current moment.

And how is he still holding that gun up, doesn’t his arm get tired? Oh wait, he’s probably had practice…

“Non puoi parlare?”(Can you not speak?) He seems curious this time, an improvement to suspicious.

I try mimicking him to get the message that I have no idea what he is saying across,

“Non pwoi para ra-re?”

“Puoi parlare, ma sei solo un bambino o sei semplicemente bravo a recitare?”(You can speak, but are you just a child or is it that you are simply good at acting?)

Giving up, I just point at my mouth again, a little bit more forcefully than last time because he looks like he’s contemplating the mysteries of the universe right now.

“Sei affamato?”(You’re hungry?)Aaaand he is back to amused, seriously, is this dude bipolar?

There is a soft exhalation of breath, I wonder if that is what counts as a sigh for him,

“Immagino di non poterti prendere nulla mentre sei affamato,” He pauses in the middle of picking me up contemplative, “Non sembra nemmeno che tu capisca quello che sto dicendo comunque.”(I suppose I can't get anything out of you while you are hungry. You don't even seem to understand what I am saying anyway)

Back in his arms, I bury my face into the front of suit again, I don’t care how he’s doing the furnace impression but it is awesome. Maybe that’s because I feel like I’m freezing to death.

He chuckles at my antics, seemingly as if the gun pointing didn’t happen.

Jerk.

It’s really too bad that his face is perfectly symmetrical.

Otherwise, it’d be fun to ruin, like his suit.

Buuuut no, it’s symmetrical, and symmetry is pretty—wait, did I just indirectly call him _pretty??_

I did.

Oh. My. God.

Nooooo _ooooo!_

_“He grows on you like an unwanted and chaotic fungus.”_

_‘Where did the chaotic bit come from? Though it does seem to fit...somehow.’_

_“Who knows? I’m not killed, again. I’d say I’m doing pretty well.”_

And so, we arrive in a kitchen with me clinging to Jerkface like a limpet.

He tries putting me down again...it doesn’t turn out as easy as he probably assumed it to be. Mainly because I am determined to keep clinging to him since he’s the only source of warmth I have. In the end, he does manage—Just how strong is he? I’m pretty sure he didn’t even use anything close to his full strength since he didn’t want to hurt me or something—leaving me on yet another table before walking over to a fridge and rummaging through it for something or other.

I immediately start shivering, teeth chattering like possessed.

He doesn’t notice while continuing to look through his fridge, I don’t think he knows what to feed small children.

Like I said, completely clueless as to what to do with me.

He’s muttering now, sounding _very_ frustrated, he glances back at me and was about to turn away when he finally registers my shaking.

He pauses, eyes widening before coming over, still holding onto whatever he found in the fridge.

Hovering around me, he stands a few feet away from me, unsure as to what he should be doing,

“Mio Dio, cosa ti è successo?” (My god, what happened to you?)

A light bulb seems to have gone off in his head because he reaches out to me—ok, _now_ I know I am hallucinating because _those are yellow flames coming off his hands—_ and picks me up, more gentle this time.

I feel like someone dunked me in a tub of warm molasses before the feeling vanishes and I feel more awake than I did before.

Jerkface takes advantage of my momentary shock to shove something in my mouth…a cookie?

It is a cookie.

 _Chocolate_ chip cookie.

I turn wide worshipful eyes towards him in gratitude because this is a _chocolate_ chip cookie before consuming the cookie at record-breaking speeds.

Jerkface is frozen under my awe-filled gaze, looking out of his comfort zone and pleased at the same time.

He feeds me more cookies.

I have forgiven all of his slights.

He is now my favorite person in this world, after all, how could anyone argue against _cookies?_

Five minutes later...

Now he’s watching me with surprise and more than a little incredulity as I start consuming my one hundred sixty-eighth cookie.

Eh, he’ll survive, I’ve done worse.

Well, in my first life anyway.

It is a little-known fact, but eating ten pounds of chocolate in one day without getting sick is perfectly doable.

Though probably only possible if you are me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, Reborn is the strongest Sun in the world, so even when he isn't using the flames and unless he's suppressing it, his Sun flames subconsciously affect things.  
> In this case, Leon.


	16. Speech

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course when teaching children to speak, one would start with the different type of guns.
> 
> Or:
> 
> Reborn really doesn't know anything about children, but it doesn't mean he isn't going let that stop him from raising one, his pride will not allow something as trivial as a child to stump him.
> 
> Oh but it's hard sometimes not to shoot them in the forehead and leave the body in an abandoned warehouse.
> 
> On the other hand, Leon finally figures out who Reborn is, where he is, and his new identity. Canon will never be the same again.

**[Reborn: 3 ¾ Days]**

_How hard could it be?_

Of course, the universe likes mocking him.

He’s been holding his favorite gun in front of the green-haired child for half an hour already, trying to get them to say, “Pistola”.

It’s not working.

It's like they're purposefully trying their hardest to make him lose what control he has left and shoot them.

He questions the mental faculties of this child—how does he have _lime_ green hair—because there are moments in which they are surprisingly smart, far too smart for any child of their age, and then there are moments like this.

Which reminds him, he doesn't know how old this child is.

He supposes he could ask, but they probably wouldn't understand.

Sighing, he runs a hand through his hair, knocking the fedora off, at this point he doesn’t care if he looks less than perfection, it’s not as if anybody but Leon is going to see.

The same child that ate  _all_ of the cookies he had in the house in an hour.

He's going to need so much coffee after this.

_Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. Perhaps an introduction is better suited for this?_

Deciding to give it a try—he has to commend the patience this child possesses, they’ve been sitting in the same place for hours—he points at himself,

“Reborn.”

He then points at them,

“Leon.”

Their eyes light up in understanding, then, dawning horror.

“R-Re _born?!_ ”

An eyebrow is raised, do they recognize him?

They point at themselves,

“Leon?”

The other eyebrow joins the first,

“Leon.” He confirms.

They look as if someone just shot their worldviews to hell.

And then he realizes,

_Their first coherent word is my name._

There is a swell of pride in his chest before he forcefully eradicates it,

_Perhaps there is hope still._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The number of days thing in each entry will change once Leon figures out the date.
> 
> Fun Fact: In this fic, Leon's birthday is the fourth of April.


	17. Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reborn denies getting attached.
> 
> It's a good thing Leon is just as attached and has no intention of leaving.
> 
> But of course, for all his genius, Reborn misses a lot of things about Leon if they don't actually tell him.
> 
> Hell would freeze over before they did though.
> 
> Let the awkward teeth-rotting fluff commence.

**[Reborn: Several Months Later 7/16/XXXX]**

He has surviv—no, passed—the last few months on coffee.

In fact, he’s pretty sure that coffee is the only thing that is keeping him sane.

He can’t believe that Leon is only a couple of months old when he acts like an extremely childish teenager with a chocolate addiction.

Maybe all children are like him?

Reborn is slightly concerned with how obsessed with chocolate Leon is sometimes, there is a possibility that he would betray his loyalties just to get his precious chocolate.

Reborn denies that he has gotten attached, it’s just that Leon knows too much and his shapeshifting ability is extremely useful.

Yup, definitely not attached.

But he can’t deny that in his human form, Leon is quite adorable with the lime green hair framing and complementing his wide golden eyes.

Even if it is slightly disconcerting that he has slit pupils instead of normal ones.

The day he found out that Leon’s pale skin was actually an incredibly light green was the day he gave up trying to figure the child out.

He remembers his previous attempt to teach Leon Italian and winces, the only upside to that was that he eventually figured out that Leon can speak fluent English. He was never more glad that he knew English, the whole teaching process went a lot smoother after that. And when Leon wasn’t learning Italian, they had a way to actually  _ communicate _ with both sides understanding what the other was trying to say. No one shall ever know of the horrors he experienced with the long game of charades he had before that discovery.

On a far happier note, he managed to figure out that Leon can transform into  _ guns _ and that he could also make bullets in that form, meaning Reborn would never have reload ever again.

Provided that Leon stays with him of course.

He’s tried getting Leon to stop his transformations into green things, or if he couldn’t switch to yellow. But the best that they managed so far was to lessen the amount of green.

Arriving at his destination, he stops in front of his next hit’s house and pulls down his fedora a little to hide the dark amusement in his eyes before slipping inside through the front door—the man's security was enough to make lesser men cry—and pulled out his favorite gun.

It was the new one: black with lime green highlights.


	18. Bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is more character development and a time skip.

**[Entry 16: About A Year After Leaving The Lab]**

“Reeeeeeborrrrrn!! Give me back my _chocolaaaaaaaate!!_ ”

At the current moment, Reborn has taken my chocolate hostage and is holding it above his head,

“Dammit! Why do you have to be so _tall_? It’s not fair! I wanna be tall too!”

I’ve given up trying to jump and reach my beloved chocolate because that is nigh impossible with Reborn holding it _above_ his head, and have taken to trying to climb up Reborn’s pant leg instead.

It’s not working.

“Leon.”

I stop and look up nervously,

_Please don’t let it be, no, no, no…_

“Yes, Reborn?” I reply with a saccharine smile, hopefully, he’s in a good mood today.

“You are banned from eating chocolate for the rest of the day.”

There is a pause while I register what he said,

“WHAT?!! NOOOOO!!!”

“Keep it up and it’ll be a week.”

“...” I pout, summoning some fake tears to go along with it.

“Stop sulking, Leon. It’s just chocolate.”

_‘I can’t believe how childish you are.’_

_“Shut up! I am a child!”_

_‘You are how many years old now?’_

_“One and several months.”_

_‘Now add fourteen years to that.’_

_“I’m not fifteen!”_

_‘Mentally, you should be.’_

Outwardly, however, I’m pretending to strangle Leo as I had taken to calling my other self,

“...”

“Strangling the air is not going to help your case.”

Deciding upon a different approach, I threaten,

“I’ll suffer withdrawal symptoms.”

Reborn levels a disappointed glare at me,

“It would seem that I need to teach you how to make proper threats, remind me later. Besides, it won’t kill you.”

“Yes it will!”

More heavy disappointed glaring,

“No it won’t, try again.”

I wrack my brain for better threats, what does Reborn want to hear?

“If you don’t give me back my chocolate I’ll try murdering you in your sleep?”

At this point he is incredulous at my patheticness in threat making,

“Is that a question or a threat? Take out ‘try’, a proper hitman does not ‘try’ to do anything, they _do_ it.”

“But _you_ are the hitman, not me…” I weakly remind him, I do not like where this is going at all.

“Oh? Remind me to teach you later.”

“ _Why?!!_ ” I do have self preservation! This is the person that taught Tsuna! I do remember his methods of tortu— _teaching_!

“I feel like it.”

“...” Right, Reborn never does anything he doesn’t feel like doing and when he does feel like doing something—usually including a lot of chaos—the only thing anybody can do is damage control.

Or just hope for the best and that you are not the target.

He’s a force of nature.

Like the Sun.

Literally.

“You should be honored, it's not as if I offer to teach every snot-nosed brat that comes asking.”

_"Yeah, for good reason. I can't even begin to count the number of potentially lethal items you chucked at Tsuna in the anime."_

More pouting from me,

“Yeah, _so_ honored.”

“Work on your sarcasm too,” Was the mocking reply I got for my efforts at being cute and manipulative.

“Stop. Just stop.”

He continues looking down—why is he so _tall_ —at me with a smug smirk,

“Why would I do something like that?”

Taking a gamble, I shut my eyes tightly while loudly declaring,

“I’ll murder you in your sleep when you least expect it with a rusty spoon if you do not!”

I open one eye when Reborn doesn’t respond.

Lo and behold: He seems even more amused than before.

Why did I get stuck with the guy whose taste for expensive things and coffee is probably enough to buy a lifetime's worth of chocolate?

And his drastic mood changes, one moment he’s amused and the next he’s murderous.

It probably doesn’t help that a murderous Reborn means dead bodies showing up in the most unusual places, usually abandoned warehouses.

They seem to be his favorite.

Dark dead-end streets are his second favorite.

“‘Rusty spoon’ was a nice touch although cliche, but we both know that you are not capable of carrying that threat out, hitmen must always be able to carry their threats out. Now you see why you need to be taught?”

I deflate, He's really adamant about teaching me and threatening to murder Reborn is about as futile as telling a rock to drown,

“Fine, then I’ll run away for a week.”

He stiffens,

“Where to?”

Considering my options for a moment, I come up with the incredibly intelligent answer of,

“I have no idea.”

Reborn sighs—Is that relief? Nope, not possible—before continuing in deadpan,

“You threaten to run away but don’t know where you are going to run?”

“Yup!”

Deadpan served with a side of disapproval,

“That is not something to be proud of.”

I try to explain my thought process,

“Well, there are plenty of places I can go, but none of them will keep you out after the first few days.”

“...”

_‘Chirp, chirp.’_

_“Shut up, Leo. You do a horrible impression of crickets.”_

_‘It’s the mood that matters, Leon, not the quality.’_

_“Tell that to Reborn.”_

_‘...’_

Taking Leo’s silence as the cue to continue before he starts again,

“I expect that if I run away, you will hunt me down and drag me back while telling exactly why where I went wasn’t a good idea. You will probably then proceed to tell me what to do better next time.”

“...”

By now, I’m just rambling to keep Reborn from going off the deep end,

“I mean with your connections, money, and some well-placed threats, you can get into practically anywhere you want. I’ve been with you long enough to realize what I can get away with and what is just a waste of effort. Running away is a lost cause before I even attempt it, it’s like trying to get you to stop drinking coffee.”

“...”

“Also, just in case I do lose my sanity and run away in the future, I want you to drag me back. By my precious hair if you have to. Oh, and try drilling some sense back into my brain afterward.”

Still no reply,

“...”

I’m worried now,

“Reborn?”

“So you think I am oppressive.”

My eyes widen, where the hell did he get that from? It was supposed to make him feel better that if I do run away he’ll be able to find me…

Unfortunately for me, my mouth does not seem to have a filter,

“Where the hell did you get that from? Was there this secret conversation we were having that I wasn’t told about? Because that is what it sounds like to me. Or you are reading too much into things again,” I nod sagely, “Being paranoid is alright if they are actually out to kill you and being observant is all well and good too. But conversations with double meanings belong in the mafia and before you start with how I _am_ in the mafia, do try to remember that I am _one_ year old?”

 _‘We are_ FIFTEEN, _Leon. What part about being mentally fifteen do you not understand?’_

_“Uh...all of it? Besides, we’re trying to make Reborn feel better...because he’s depressed for some reason.”_

_‘It’s the mafianess getting to him, one can only live so long in the darkness before being tainted by it or some similar philosophical phrase. But really, that’s probably what’s wrong with him.’_

_“You know, I’ve always wondered why everyone always exclaimed that Reborn is a hard person to read. We can totally tell what he’s thinking.”_

_‘Maybe because he lets us?’_

_“Remember that one time? Job number sixteen?”_

_‘Oh, yeah. Then I don’t know, maybe we’re just really good at it.’_

_“We suck at reading other people.”_

_‘Then we’re only good at reading Reborn.’_

_“That’s really sad. Have we been infected with his jerkness so much that we understand him now?!!”_

_‘You’re overreacting, some people would give a limb to be able to tell what Reborn is thinking.’_

_“True—”_

“You can have your chocolate back.” He says while handing them back to me, interrupting the conversation I was having with Leo.

“Uhh...thanks?” I am so, _so_ confused.

He starts to walk away, shadow extending behind him dramatically, leaving me still frozen in shock,

“You are welcome.”

Back to the same old Jerkface as ever, sometimes I don't know whether I should be happy or upset at how fast he recovers.

I decide to be happy, being a hitman is a pretty risky job, being the Greatest is even worse,

“That’s not what I mea—you know what? Nevermind.”

Still muttering my grievances in annoyance I run after the hitman that I am 95% sure is bipolar.

"Hurry up, or do you want us to be late for the flight?"

"Sir! No, sir!" I reply, military style.

"Cheeky brat." He's pleased, despite trying to seem offended, I can tell.

Grinning, I place one hand on my heart and bow,

"I live to please~"

"If you do, then you are not doing a very good job of it."

"That is the point." 

"Remind me to work on your sarcasm."

I throw my hands in the air in irritation, just what does he have against my sarcasm?

"You already said that, besides, I think you are just terrible at noticing sarcasm."

"I do am not."

Latching on to what seems to have struck a nerve,

"Yes, yes you are. If you were good at it, you would notice my so-called 'terrible' sarcasm regardless of its quality."

He stops walking for a moment and turns to look me in the eye,

"If you are going to follow me everywhere I go, I have to make sure that you are at least presentable."

"Worried about your reputation?" I tease.

"No." Hmmm...The denial is strong in this one.

"Worried about mine?" I'm pushing it, I know, but a few bullets won't kill me since he aims them to only graze me.

The now identified tsundere glares testily, not that I'll ever say that he's a tsundere to his face, courting death and teasing Reborn are two different things,

"Do you ever shut up?"

I pretend to think about it,

"When I'm a lizard, yes. Which reminds me, nobody has to see me accompanying you, I can just stay as a lizard."

"Do not try to get out of work, it's unbecoming."

As a last-ditch effort,

"You're giving yourself more work by trying to teach me."

Which he shakes off like water to a duck,

"And you know that I never balk at a challenge. Besides, I managed to teach you Italian, didn't I?"

"Yeah, because I wanted to learn it. Also, taking so many risks is going to be the death of you one day."

"Worried?" He turns my previous reply against me.

"Oh, yes, _very_ worried."

We resume walking again,

"Yet you still doubt my teaching abilities when you are already getting better."

Puffing my cheeks out I try to act upset and hide a grin, failing miserably,

"I am not even going to respond to that."

"You just did."

"..." Reborn probably knows that I did that last part on purpose. And if he doesn't? I'm not telling him that.

He laughs.

Reborn doesn't laugh very often.

Evil chuckles?

Definitely.

Laughing?

No.

Latching on to his shoulder and transforming into a chameleon, I climb onto his fedora to ponder my life choices.

Do I regret anything?

Nope, not at all.

Reborn _is_ the only person that would ever get me ten pounds of chocolate a week.

Maybe Fon will in the future, he does like children, right?

But _ten_ pounds of chocolate though…I’ll ask him for tea instead. I was Chinese in my previous life, so maybe I can convince him to only talk in mandarin as a prank against the rest of the Arcobaleno too.

_‘Just remember to take things one at a time, Leon. Canon still needs to happen. Well, some of it anyway.’_

_“And if we lose heart, remember that we’ll get to help torture both Dino_ and _Tsuna.”_

_‘Roger that.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun facts:  
> Leon can store energy, this is why he consumes so much sugar.  
> With enough energy, he can shapeshift into large things, like cars.  
> Small things take a lot less energy.  
> As he grows up, heĺl be able to store more energy.  
> It is also why Reborn has various chocolate bars with him all the time, hidden, because otherwise, Leon will eat all of them.  
> Reborn doesn't like chocolate all that much and will deny carrying any. Practically everyone that knows the pair realizes the only one of them that like chocolate is Leon so admitting that he does carry chocolate around all the time just so he could give it to Leon later is embarrassing. (That, and it also means admitting he cares more than he says he does)  
> Tsundere much?


	19. Rumors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter...the next one will be longer, I promise.

**[Timoteo: ??/??/????]**

He’s been hearing quite some disturbing rumors recently. There are whispers of a green-haired child of an unidentifiable gender following the World’s Greatest Hitman, and that the enigmatic hitman actually tolerates them. Reborn is famous for being a loner and he doesn’t work well in teams or even a partnership. 

So the idea that a  _ child _ of all things managed to get past arm's length is preposterous. 

He refuses to even acknowledge the even smaller whispers that the child might actually belong to Reborn.

There is no way Reborn would, right?

Timoteo is unnerved as these rumors become more and more common, even his most reliable resources confirm it.

Perhaps it is time to invite the World’s Greatest Hitman for a visit, just to soothe his overactive imagination and guilty consciousness because there is no way that leaving a child alone in Reborn’s care is a good idea.

For all that Reborn is the strongest, his forte lies in the art of killing, not in taking care of children.

Satisfied, Timoteo adds the finishing touches to the invite he is writing.

Afterall, no one can order  _ Reborn _ to do anything.

 


	20. Hell (Or, Training)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And Reborn gets the invitation and realizes that he needs to start training Leon the art of killing people if he wants to make sure Leon survives. Because other families would definitely take note of all the weaknesses the small child possesses and take advantage of them to get to him, and since it is the mafia, Leon would probably end up dead.
> 
> So Leon has to get rid of them, or at least get better at hiding his weaknesses.  
> With him being as obvious as he is, this is a monumental task.
> 
> Of course, Leon doesn't realize any of this and believes that Reborn is the Devil's incarnation.  
> He's not too far off the point, though Reborn does have his reasons.  
> It's a pity he never shares them.
> 
> Woe is Leon.

**[Entry 17: A Year And One Month]**

“Leon.”

“Yes, Reborn?” I climb onto his shoulder, having gotten the knack of it after the first fifty times.

“Vongola Nono has invited us to a ball.”

“Oh~? You mean he invited _you_  to a ball.”

“No, he has specifically invited both of us.”

“Really?”

“Yes, he even has your name on here.”

Looking over his shoulder, I snag the extravagant letter to get a closer look,

“Huh, he _does_ have my name on here, I wonder why?”

“We both know _why_ , the rumors have been piling up ever since you decided to reveal your human form.”

“Hey, I’m just waiting for the day that they realize Leon the chameleon is the same as Leon the kid.”

“I doubt it’ll happen anytime soon.”

“Yeah, they probably just think you have horrible naming sense.”

“I do not have horrible naming sense.”

“You named a chameleon, _Leon_.”

“...Leon is a great name.”

“Yeah, _riiiight_.” I say, dragging out the “i”

“You have something against being named Leon?”

“How do you keep getting more  _guns!!??_ ” I fall off his shoulder screeching due to whiplash from flinching away from the barrel of a gun that _somehow_ materialized in his hands.

I can practically _feel_ the smirk from where I am on the ground,

“Because I am the Greatest.”

Go figure he'd say that.

Did I ever say that his ego and arrogance knows no bounds?

It's worse because he can usually back up everything he says.

And that's annoying.

He knows it too.

Why is this my life?

_'Why don't you ask him?'_

_"Good idea."_

"Why?" Wait, that came out wrong it was supposed to be 'why is this my life'—

"Because I am a genius?"

Oh? Oh! We can play the infamous 'why?' game that small children like.

"Why?!!"

"Because I was born that way?"

" _Why?_ " 

"Because...well, you see, when a man and a woman decid—"

"NOOOO. Nope. Not happening. Do  _not_ give me your version of The Talk."

"You asked me why I was born that way, I'd have to explain how I was born before we get into genetics."

"You are just doing this to be mean, aren't you?"

"Was there ever any doubt?"

Annoyed, I climb up his leg like an inchworm before settling down again on his shoulder and steering the topic away from __bad, _bad_ things,

“Can we not go?”

Reborn takes the offered letter and folds it back up again,

“To the ball? Unfortunately for those of our status, it would be horribly rude to all the influential families that will be attending.”

“So? Make up an excuse. All they want to do is gawk at me and ‘persuade’ you to join their Famiglias.” I whine, balls are the most boring things _ever._ Even I know that despite never having gone to one. Books are a thing. Books with boring balls in them are plentiful enough to be an entire genre.

And you wonder why I don’t ever want to go to one of these things,

“Vongola Nono _personally_ invited us, refusing may present the image that we do not care.”

“We don’t.”

Reborn opens a cupboard to pull out a mug for his coffee,

“We are still going.”

“But…”

“Leon.” He pauses in pouring his coffee.

“Fudge noodles.”

“Language.” Chides Reborn after taking a sip, why anyone would like something as unappetizing as coffee is beyond me.

“What do you have against fudge noodles?”

He holds up a finger, “One, disgusting.” Another finger rises to join the first, “Two, it is the intent that counts.”

Of course, I must protest because fudge counts as chocolate,

“Fudge is not disgusting!.”

Glowering over his cup, he deadpans,

“That is because you like chocolate.”

It’s official, I’ve run out of options…so insults next, Reborn has been attempting to teach me to insult people better,

“Jerk.” The best insult there ever is, it’s so bad that it is good...right?

Right?!

“Cheeky brat.” Totally, Unoriginal. He’s what, called us that several thousand times now?

_‘It’s 1036.’_

_“You keep track of these things?!!”_

_‘What? It’s not as if I can do anything else.’_

_“Still.”_

_‘You might want to reply. He’s getting the ‘You are not paying attention to me and I’m not happy look’ again.’_

“Reborn.” Smart answer. _Very_ smart answer. So smart that I am in awe of my own foot in mouthness.

“Leon.”

He is so, _so_ annoying. Of course, he wouldn’t reply like a normal human being—oh wait, he isn’t a normal human being, what am I talking about?

“...”

Reborn lets out a fondly exasperated sigh, somehow…

“I regret the day that I thought a pet chameleon found in the Estraneo base was a good idea.”

Latching on to the new conversation topic with gusto,

“True that, you really should have known better, nothing found in the Estraneo Famiglia is normal.”

He finishes his coffee, it’s only been about two minutes. The cup isn’t what anyone would consider tiny.

Coffee ninja Reborn, I am _so_ on to your schemes,

“Can I just say that I wasn’t thinking straight because the fumes got to me?”

The excuse is so terrible that even I can’t accept it,

“Puh- _lease_ , Sun flames fix everything. Besides, when are you not thinking straight? No one will buy that.”

“My common sense departed me for a moment.”

“You don’t have _any_ common sense. Ever.”

“Would you like to repeat that?”

“Remember mission 27 and tell me with a straight face that you have common sense.”

“I have common sense.” Was the immediate reply with a raised eyebrow.

“A raised eyebrow does not count as a straight face.”

“It does.”

“It’s the ‘I am purposefully doing this so you feel like facewalling a thousand times to question your sanity and life choices’ face.”

“That is...oddly specific.” Reborn looks slightly unnerved.

“I have experience.” I retort smugly.

“It would seem that I have to make it harder for you to read me then, though you were still off by sixty percent.”

“Let me rephrase my previous statement, it is the ‘I know you hate it, but I‘m doing it because I think the faces you’ll make would be funny’ look.”

“...”

“I’m right aren’t I.”

“It means I’m doing my job right.”

“Your job is to kill people.”

“And teach you how to be a hitman.”

“That is not part of your job description.”

“It is now.”

“I can only read you.”

“Hmm? I suppose that means actual training then.”

I pale, I’ve been putting this off for as long as possible,

“No.”

Of course, he completely ignores my refusal and gets out of the chair he was sitting in, setting the now empty cup in the sink,

“Come, we are going out.”

I jump off his shoulder and run towards the stairs to hide under the bed,

“Nooooooooooo…”

“Stop being such a child.” I get caught before I even make it halfway there.

“I _am_ a child. A one-year-old child. Children are not supposed to be trained to become hitmen at one year old!”

“We both would agree that you are no ordinary one year old child. Now stop squirming and hush.”

I take one last longing look at the stairs before resigning myself to my fate,

_‘Well, now we know how Tsuna must have felt.’_

_“Shut,_ up _!”_

_‘Okay.’_

And for once, Leo willingly fell silent.

* * *

**"Reborn!!! Just because I can shapeshift doesn't mean that bullets are an okay idea!."**

* * *

**"Owwww!! Stupid ego centric hitm—aaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"**

* * *

**"WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THAT FROM????!!!! HOW IS THERE A MACHINE GUN TOO?!!!"**

* * *

**"This is CHILD ABUSE!!!!"**

* * *

**"Someone saaaaaaaaaave meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"**

* * *

"Please,  _pleas_ _e_ tell me that we are done?"

"No Leon, get back over there."

I fling my self at his legs, hopefully he'll trip—oh wait, if he trips then he'll get mad. Getting him mad right now is not a good thing.

"Leon."

"Nooooooo....I don't wanna dieeee."

"I won't kill you," he speaks as if the very idea insults him, it probably does, "Now stop complaining."

"Noooooooo."

There is the click of safety being removed, I look up slowly in dread.

It's the barrel of  _yet another_ gun.

And we say that Lambo is the one that has some sort of black hole for hair, Reborn's entire body is an armory.

He smirks, it's not a nice one—oh who am I kidding? It's never a nice one.

This one promises eternal pain and agony.

I pale a few shades further.

I think I'd rather take hell.

"Start running."

And I ran.

He was nice about it too, I got five seconds before he started shooting again.

I counted.

* * *

**A couple hours later...give or take.**

* * *

 

"Are— _gasp_ —we— _slowly dies_ —done— _suffocating_ —now— _kissing the ground goodbye before my soul departs this body_ —?"

"Yes."

"Thank god."

The last thing I remember before passing out is Reborn's shoes.

_I really should tell him that leather stains when you get blood on them, it's a waste of shoes..._

 

 

 

 


	21. Plea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! I can't believe I forgot to post entry 18 before 19! (facepalm)

**[Entry 18:One Year, One Month, And A Few Weeks Later.]**

“Leon, you are  _ not  _ attending with a  _ neon _ green suit.”

I turn myself around to better see my reflection in the mirror before replying, 

“I think I look fine. Besides, it matches my hair.”

“Your hair is not  _ neon _ green.”

“But it’s  _ green _ . And besides, you didn’t complain about me wearing a hoodie and shorts.” I protest.

“I let you wear the sweatshirt and shorts only because you threatened to destroy every single suit I get you to wear.”

Crossing my arms defiantly I glare up at Reborn,

“That still stands.”

He seems to be quickly losing what patience he has,

“You are  _ not _ wearing a  _ neon green  _ suit or so help me god.”

“We are both atheists,” I point out, “Well, at least I am.”

Aaaand there is the gun.

It’s pretty much the one thing that stays constant—when he’s being patient, he tries reasoning. When he loses that patience, out comes the gun and the threatening starts.

I’m probably the only person that he ever has so much patience with considering that he goes straight to the threatening with most people, and that’s them not even attempting to refuse.

That probably isn’t something to be proud of.

Oh well, this is my life.

“You are going to wear the suit I got you, and that is final.”

I hold my hands up in a placating manner while smiling cheerily,

“Ok~!!”

“...”

“What, isn’t that what you wanted?”

“Yes...but you concurred to my request too quickly.”

“We both know that that was not a request, and really, why are you hung up over me agreeing ‘too quickly’?”

“When you agree without putting up much of a fight it usually means that you are going to try something that I do not like. For example, you may attempt to dye the suit I give you neon green after you bleach it.”

“...” This is not my guilty face, dammit!

“Are you serious? You were actually going to dye the suit green?”

“No, I am not Sirius. It’s actually a star.”

“You’re avoiding the question.”

“...”

“Where are you even going to  _ get _ neon green dye?!”

“I’m not saying? Then you’d just confiscate all of my dyes.”

“You have  _ more _ ?”

“No.”

“That is the most unbelievable lie that I’ve ever heard.”

“Sorry.”

“A proper hitman does not say ‘sorry’.”

“But a decent human being does when they realize that they’ve done wrong.”

“A proper hitman would not even get into a situation that they would be required to apologize in the first place.”

“But even hitmen are human and humans make mistakes.”

“We can argue about this for forever and a day. However, you will not be dying the suit neon green or try to tamper with it in any way. Understood?”

“Aye, aye, cap'n.”

“You are not a pirate.”

“True, I’m a hitman in training. Unwillingly.”

“Oh? Do you need a few more dodging lessons?”

“No thanks, all good here.”

A gun materializes in barely concealed eagerness,

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, very.”

“Too bad.”

“Dammit.”

I start running again.

I’m beginning to fear that I am a masochist.

At least I’m good at dodging now.

Courtesy of one insane-probably bipolar-sadistic-chaotic-infuriating-scary hitman named Reborn.

Needless to say, the last few weeks have been so much fun dodging grenades, bullets, knives, wires, bombs, various explosives, paintballs, water balloons, glue and glitter bombs—that took  _ such _ a long time to get out of my hair—spike traps, booby traps, pitfalls, chainsaws, axes, meat cleavers, a katana or two, senbon, dead bodies—don’t even ask—and that isn’t even half of the list.

Someone please send help.


	22. Vongola Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Timoteo is not getting any rest...

**[Entry 19: At the Ball]**

 

“Reborn, can we just have a moment of silence for the sheer ridiculousness of the Vongola Mansion?” I say as I look around in awe.

Wait, better stop doing that before Reborn starts lecturing me about acting like an unsophisticated _idiota_. (idiot)

It takes a moment for him to reply as he straightens his suit after getting out of the car—limousine, and really, he wouldn’t settle for anything less than the best,

“It was silent before you decided to speak up, monello” (brat)

No lecture than, that’s nice...ugh, better prepare for a night of being an emotionless lump trailing behind Reborn. At least I won't have to talk, probably. I hate being gawked at, and with my reputation, it’s unavoidable at this point. Most of the reputation comes from being associated with Reborn, the rest is of me being my usual awesome self, obviously.

I slide out of the car after Reborn—my legs being too short to actually touch the ground while seated, it’s _annoying_ —and brush nonexistent dust off of my new _black_ suit.

Reborn, being the overachiever that he is, managed to order a suit my size on the day of the annual Vongola Ball. He also forcibly wrestled my shoulder length hair into a loose braid—who knew that he could braid? Oh wait, this is Reborn, of course he knows how to braid.

At least I have a green tie.

Flicking the braid I was admiring back, I answer,

“Yes it was, but that was mostly you being a jerk and refusing to talk to me for the entire ride.”

We start walking towards the extravagant door while Reborn occasionally nods at people.

He replies with a barely perceptible twitch of his mouth,

“You know, if I didn’t know any better I’d actually believe you to be merely a child.”

I walk closer to him, carefully masking any emotions that can be used against us while pasting a neutral smile on,

“What can I say, I’m just that good. Why didn’t we use our car? The driver was obviously hired to dig for information, though he’s really bad at it from what I can tell.”

This time, Reborn actually glances back at me with amusement flickering through his eyes,

“Oh? You thought he was bad? That driver was actually sent by Vongola Nono himself, he seems to have taken quite the interest in you.”

My eye twitches as I groan inwardly,

“Wonderful, even Vongola’s curious, the night keeps getting better and better. I have enough 'fans' from the rest of the mafia, I don't need Vongola added to the list.”

Smirking, Reborn continues as if I hadn’t spoken at all,

“We didn’t use our car because refusing would be quite rude, not to mention, it is advantageous for us.”

Despite it being a statement, there was an unspoken question, another one of his tests.

This time I actually grimace,

“By presenting the driver with what we want him to see, Vongola also sees what we want him to.”

“Close enough, there is more to it but I’ll have to explain it in detail later. Keep your face neutral,” Reborn chides when we finally reach the door, let it be known that despite his questionable methods, the results of his teaching cannot be argued with, “Brace yourself.”

With that, the door is opened for us by a servant after our invitation is taken and examined. We walk into a ridiculously large reception room where we pass through security and are then escorted into the Ballroom.

All the while, people whispered and pointed at us like we’re some sort of exhibition at a zoo.

_“I hate how they seem to think that they’re being so secretive when they’re really not.”_

_‘Yes, it’s definitely annoying. And it seems that Reborn agrees with us, he’s subtly glaring at all of the people who get too bold.’_

_“Aww...he cares. Or it’s his reputation that he’s defending. And that looks like his default Hitman Face, he’s not really glaring…”_

_‘His default Hitman Face is a subtle intimidating glare coupled with a megaton of killing intent, Leon. And he’s glaring harder than normal, it’s almost noticeable.’_

_“Oh, right. Whoops? Wow, I don’t even notice his killing intent anymore...it’s official, we’ve been exposed to Reborn far too long, Leo.”_

_‘I don’t think normal people get used to it Leon, we’re just abnormal.’_

“Leon.” Reborn's voice interrupts my inner debate with myself, wait, is that worry I hear?

“Yes, Reborn?”

“What do think about getting coffee?”

Oh.

_Oh._

He’s suspicious of me being ensnared by a Mist since I don’t have flames to protect myself and now he’s questioning me to figure out if I’m still me. Most Mists are smart enough not to do that since Reborn is obviously invested enough in me that it’s a point of pride to keep me out of trouble. And let’s just say Reborn’s “pride”—*cough* ego *cough*—is more... _sensitive_ than other people’s.

I also apparently don’t have any flames...like, at all. Reborn was really surprised when we found out, he was sure that I’d be a Mist due to my shapeshifting abilities.

Better reply as to not keep him worrying, a worrying Reborn is one that gets trigger happy. Well, more trigger happy than normal, and an extremely trigger happy Reborn is a menace to anything that moves. And things that don’t move...basically everything, the world at large.

I pretend to think about it for a moment before chirping,

“Only if I get fifty percent of milk and sugar mixed in with it. Or just get hot cocoa.”

He relaxes imperceptibly,

“Only you would have such an obsession with sugar.”

I place a hand over my heart dramatically,

“And only you would despise all things sweet with such a passion.”

He laughs, sort of, it’s more of an exhalation of air than a laugh, but for Reborn, that’s pretty darn impressive,

“I do not “despise” all things sweet, I just do not enjoy them as much as you do.”

I flap a dismissive hand,

“Semantics, it’s the gist of it.”

Cue a cool pose—how does he _do_ that?!!—from Reborn,

“A hitman, is always accurate, be it literally, or metaphorically.”

I was about to retort when someone from the Beccio Famiglia speaks up from behind us,

“Well, if it isn’t the so-called _World Greatest Hitman_...with a toddler of all things,” They bend down to examine me with a contemptuous leer, “Seems like you’re getting soft, eh?”

I glare at the face hanging in front of me. Maybe in different circumstances, I would have actually liked this person. But he just killed any friendliness I have for his entire Famiglia right when he insinuated that Reborn is  _soft._ Reborn is  _not_ soft, I went through his hell training, if that is soft, then the rest of the world is made of feather beds.

A hush falls over the room as everyone stops pretending to better listen to the confrontation. This was it, the moment everyone had been waiting for: A foolish or extremely brave Mafiosi to challenge Reborn.

It happens all the time, even on missions, random mafiosi getting arrogant and wishing to prove themselves by challenging Reborn. They end up permanently injured or dead, usually they're newbies who haven't gotten enough experience to know to leave Reborn alone.

Speaking of Reborn, he’s practically drowning everyone with killing intent at this point—oh wow, someone just fainted in the crowd...

I, on the other hand, continue to smile sweetly,

“May I have permission to shoot him in the face for being an ignoramus?”

The killing intent in the room drops slightly. Reborn seems to be considering my request, there is a lot of variables to consider, the politics, how his will affect our reputation, and if it will damage our mission requests. A lot of people try to subtly stifle their gasps of relief, but with the room being deathly silent, they’re heard anyway.

Reborn, being the awesome jerkface that he is, inclines his head about 2 millimeters. And that’s an acceptable affirmative for me.

It’s a good thing that I absorbed what Reborn taught me about being a hitman, well other than his weird and many rules, because this calls for a classic Pissed Off Reborn move.

Namely, pointing a gun at the offending person’s face and firing.

Multiple times.

Usually, this isn’t very complicated except Reborn loves complicating simple things so he _has_ to do it differently than normal mortals because he’s _obviously_ so much better than the rest of them. That and people usually don’t wait for you to pull out a gun and fire in rapid succession, they’re already dodging by the time that happens. And the element of surprise was lost because I asked to shoot the dude in the face.

Unfortunately for me, Reborn’s need for perfection and overall above averageness now extends to me. I’d get a very thorough “demonstration” of how to “properly” shoot someone in the face later on if I don’t get it right the first time.

Which leaves me in a sort of tricky situation.

I don’t _really_ want to murder someone at a very _public_ and _important_ ball, it’d be rude. But I can’t really not retaliate because it’s Mafia etiquette to “take care” of any snubs or insults personally and in a very violent manner, well, violent by civilian standards.

And I got permission from Reborn, that’s at the top of the list because nobody ignores what Reborn says.

Or they get a bullet to the face.

So basically I have to shoot someone in the face, not murder them, and also meet Reborn’s ridiculous standards.

_‘Leon in the Anime and Manga could create weapons, not just shapeshift into them.’_

_“OH MY GOD. I can’t believe I forgot all about that.”_

I crank my smile even wider, bordering on insane and slowly raise my hand in a firing position,

“Bang.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHH SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING!!!!!
> 
> Have a chapter, please don't murder me.


	23. Vongola Nono

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super short and not uneventful chapter!  
> It gets better soon I promise, we'll be moving onto the Arcobaleno arc soon!!
> 
> Shout out to Misminor for giving me the idea of getting Leon to call Reborn "dad". It was a pretty spontaneous decision but I think it worked out really well.

**[Entry 20: At the Ball Part 2]**

 

The Beccio Famiglia member’s eyes barely have any time to widen before they are hit with the projectile coming from my newly materialized gun. Some more people faint while other Beccio members attending rush forward in a futile attempt to stop me.

Then they pause, confused and stupefied.

The idiot is still standing, stock still and in shock, cross-eyed from staring at the point on his forehead.

A tiny rivulet of crimson meanders down the side of his nose and drops to the floor.

Ticking can be heard before a soft beep breaks the coffin-like silence that shrouds the entire Ballroom.

With an almighty bang, the dart I shot explodes.

After that, it sorta just, collapsed upon itself and fizzled, gushing neon green dye _all over his face and suit._

Hey, I never said I wasn’t resourceful!

“A mist? With his coloring, I was sure he’d be a lightning.” A voice behind us calls out while the Beccio Famiglia finally snap out of their shock and converge upon their “wounded” member.

Well, he’s not really wounded since the red stuff that was off of him is red dye I stuck to the rim suction cup on the tip of the dart. There’s a whole lot more of green painted on the dude due to the fact I had an entire dart to fill with green dye and other materials.

And of course, the mini “bomb”, though it really was just mixing vinegar, baking soda, and green dye with a separate compartment for a very small amount of gunpowder.

Oh and the weird tiny ticking toy bomb thing that doesn’t really explode that Reborn got me as a gag gift, I tied it to the dart.

It’s a good thing dye stains.

And it takes forever to get out of skin.

 _I_ can be vindictive, well, sorta.

In mafia standards, that was letting him off pretty light, but he and his family will never get to live it down. Not in this century anyway. Besides, I gotta leave something for Reborn, knowing him, he’s probably going to ruin them.

Dismissing them as no longer important, I turn to find Reborn already conversing with someone I didn’t recognize.

Go figure, I know next to no one here, the only thing I do recognize is their family crests and that is because Reborn made me memorize all of them.

“Oh, hello there, Leon. I am Timoteo,” Vongola Nono stops in his conversation to bend down and stretch out a hand for me to shake, “I’ve heard much about you.”

_“Wasn’t Nono supposed to be older? He looks the same age as Reborn...a little older, but still!”_

_‘You do realize we are still before canon? Of course he’s younger.’_

_“Oh...I’m stupid.”_

_‘Yes, yes you are.”_

_“Shut it.”_

I smile widely and firmly take his hand, daring Leo to continue,

“Hello, Timoteo, thank you for inviting us.”

If he was going to introduce himself as Timoteo to score points since I’m a kid, then I’m going to use it. Being underestimated is fun sometimes, but it gets old fast.

Timoteo just smiles, unfazed, and tussles my previously neat hair, messing it up,

“There’s no need to thank me, I hope you have been enjoying your time here so far.”

My face snaps into a blank one, smile slipping off of my face.

_“Reborn did my hair you evil old goat!”_

Timoteo stiffens as if he could hear my mental scream,

“You don’t like your hair messed up? My apologies.”

“He’s usually not so nitpicky about his hair,” Reborn frowns because I was being rude to the head of the most influential family in the Mafia.

“But _Papà!_ You were the one who put it up in a braid!”

A deathly silence falls over the assembled mafiosi, again.

And another pansy hearted moron faints.

_“HAHAhahaha! This is too good! I was just waiting for the right time to drop that bombshell! It’s alright if Reborn kills me for it later, but this is pure gold. Besides, it’s sorta true, Reborn is my legal guardian.”_

_‘There’s nothing legal about you Leon, the government doesn’t even know that you exist.’_

_“Main caretaker, whatever.”_

Reborn, being the cool jerk that he is, barely needs any time before he takes it in stride and turns to the staring mafiosi.

With an eerily pleasant smile and the ominous click of the safety being disengaged,

“Is there a problem?”

PURE BADASSNESS~!!!

The effect was ruined, however, because some people have their mouths hanging open, food half chewed in them. It’s just...ewwwww.

I sneak a glance at Timoteo only to see concern and shock warring across his face. Then something snaps and he becomes as impassive as a rock, eyes cold and calculating.

I gulp, this was the man that successfully lead the _Vongola_ for _decades_. Sure it might not have been the best job, but he managed to survive to _old age_ in the _mafia_!

“Reborn, a moment please?”

Reborn reholsters the gun that I knew he must have pulled out sometime but still somehow didn’t notice despite watching him do it.

“Of course, Vongola.” He replies smoothly, seemingly unbothered, but I know him well enough to see an undercurrent of worry running through his eyes.

“Lead the way~” Chipper and bright, I try to break the ice.

Timoteo’s expression softens and he smiles at me again because wow, this dude _really_ likes kids,

“Let’s go to my study, shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter wasn't as long as I wanted it to be and I didn't really edit it...I have to be at this thing for school and I also won't be on today so sorry if I can't answer any comments _(T^T)_
> 
> (Edit: I was rushing so I didn't get to write everything/info that should have been there  
> During the entire fiasco, Timoteo has been subtly reaching out with his flames to probe at Leon to determine if he is a threat. He's super confused because he didn't sense any flames or garner a reaction out of Leon—who is oblivious because they don't have flames so the sky attraction thingy doesn't really work. He's also convinced Leon is a very good mist because how else to explain materializing a toy gun and shooting someone with it? His theory of Leon being Reborn's biological child has both decreased and increased. Decreased because they obviously look nothing alike—though that doesn't prove much—and that Leon is a "mist" while Reborn is a very strong Sun. It has increased due to Leon calling Reborn "dad", he's not exactly known for picking up random orphan children—or god forbid, kidnapping a kid—and Reborn is a sneaky ninja whose main flame type may or may not be a Sun, he's just known for being a strong one.)
> 
> Like I said, poor Timoteo, he just wants to make everyone happy...


	24. Stripping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Leon finally snaps and tries to figure out exactly where Reborn hides all of his weapons...  
> Or: Reborn really is just a troll and enjoys messing with Leon's delicate sensibilities as a way to desensitize him from things he may encounter in the mafia.

**[Omake]**

"Leon, what are you doing?"

Aforementioned child has attached themselves to the front of his suit and is currently tugging at the buttons holding it shut.

"Testing an hypothesis."

With an amused raised eyebrow, Reborn watches as they undo one button after another. Leon pats around under it for a while before releasing a groan of frustration and pulls off the suit entirely. The eyebrow raises further. Leon glares at the waistcoat underneath before sighing and resumes tugging open the buttons with his small fingers.

"Are you...trying to... _strip_ me?"

Leon pauses at the third button, brows furrowing as he ponders over what Reborn just said.

"Well, technically, I guess I am stripping you."

After another moment he resumes his task of undoing all the buttons on the waistcoat,

"Why are there so many buttons?!! These suits are definitely not kid friendly!"

Reborn smirks,

"Perhaps they're there to stop children from trying to strip people."

Leon glares up at his parental figure--he's still not sure what to classify their relationship--in irritation,

"Shut up."

With that, he pulls the waistcoat off as well before staring blankly at the dress shirt underneath, after a few moments he maneuvers himself behind Reborn. He moves back after a minute, seemingly dissatisfied.

"So, are you done? Or are you going to take the shirt off too?" Reborn's smirk gets wider, bordering predatory.

Leon grimaces at the thought,

"I am sorely tempted, but I also really,  _really_ don't want to see you shirtless and basically half naked."

"Oh? Why ever not?" Reborn reaches a hand toward the top button of shirt, "Are you completely sure?"

Leon, who had been watching the hand in slight apprehension gives a embarrassed squawk, his face turning crimson in the matter of seconds, before hastily pulling the hitman's hand away from the button,

"Don't do  _that_ , you-you...PERV!!"

The smirk is now full blown demented,

"You're the one trying to strip me."

Still beet red and flustered, Leon huffily retorts,

"I-I said  _t-technichally_!!"

"So?"

Leon buries his face in the shirt to avoid having to look up at Reborn because they're obviously trolling him and enjoying his obvious discomfort.

"Just  _stop,_ " Was the muffled reply " I  _hate you so much_."

A hand pats his head patronizingly--he's tempted to bite it--as Reborn retorts,

"There, there bambino, you'll live."

Lifting his head up, Leon continues to glare,

"I. Hate. You. SO. MUCH."

"You've said that already."

Crossing their tiny arms, Leon bitterly responds,

"I felt the need to reiterate myself to put more emphasis on how much I hate you."

Still amused, the World's Greatest Hitman takes pity on his young charge and changes the topic,

"So why were you trying to strip me?"

Leon resumes imitating a tomato and looks away before muttering,

"I wanted to see where you keep all of your weapons...because there's no way they actually appear out of thin air unless..."

"Unless?" Reborn prompts.

"Unless you are secretly a Mist!!" Leon has an epiphany," So what is your secondary flame?"

Exasperated, Reborn laments that Leon still hasn't learned any tact,

"Where you anyone else I'd have shot you before you even finished that sentence. However, if you really must know, I'm a Rain secondary."

"WHAT?!!!! How are you a Rain?! There is no way you are calming!"

The predatory smile comes back full force,

"Of course I am calming, I'm so calming that people literally drop dead in my presence."

"Ummm...Reborn, hate to break it to you...but you kinda shoot them. They drop dead after that." Leon sweatdrops.

"They also drop dead without me having to shoot them."

"But that's because you scare them so mu--oh, that actually makes a lot of sense as to why people keel over whenever you're around. I've always thought that mafiosi should have more back bone than that," He rambles on about 'how everything makes more sense now' for several minutes before bouncing back, "So what is your tertiary flame type?"

"Storm." Was the blunt reply.

"Oh. Oh my god. LIFE MAKES MORE SENSE NOW!! WHY?!!!"

"Volume."

"But...but. Never mind. Wait, I know where you keep everything! It's got to be under the fedora!"

Leaping onto the hitman's shoulder and cautiously picking up the fedora he was promptly greeted with...

Absolutely.

Nothing.

He even shook the hat for extra measure.

"Ok, now I know that you're definitely a Mist...somehow." Leon's dumbfounded voice broke the silence.

"Wrong again. I am merely...the World's Greatest Hitman."

There was a sigh before,

"You know, for a moment I thought you were going to be humble for once. And then you ruined it."

Placing a hand over his chest dramatically Reborn uttered in his most innocent voice,

"Me? Arrogant? Why, those two words don't even belong in the same sentence!"

There is a loud thump as Leon dropped spread eagle on the floor and stared at the ceiling as if it personally betrayed him,

"I regret...so much. But I had so much to live for! Keyword being  _had_ because I definitely don't have anything to live for now after you've shattered all of my innocence."

Two hands wrap around his middle, picking him off the floor before he shifts into his lizard form,

"Now look who's being dramatic."

The chameleon only flicks his tongue out in annoyance before climbing obligingly onto the offered fedora.

Reborn puts both the waistcoat and suit on before fixing his crooked tie.

"Well, that was that. Time to meet our newest client." He smirks before walking out the door, closing it behind him leaving no trace of either of them behind.


	25. Car Chase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The limit of Leon's shape-shifting capabilities: His imagination and energy capacity...and Reborn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I will write what happened at the Ball, but later because reasons...  
> Oh and some coarse language in this chapter.

**[Entry 21]**

"Damn it, this was supposed to be a hit and run! The Beccio Famiglia isn't even allied with the Pesca!"

At the moment, both Reborn and Leon are sprinting through the hallways of the Pesca Famiglia. The hit had gone off without a hitch, that is, until the Beccio arrived and the number of people they were dealing with basically doubled in size. This isn't really much of a problem, although it is annoying due to the fact that Reborn now has to kill more people than he was paid to. 

And so, it isn't much of a surprise that he's...upset.

Leon on the other hand, is having the time of his life: clinging onto Reborn's shoulder  _for_ dear life. Needless to say, he's getting the better end of the stick, probably.

"Wow, they sure can hold a grudge, we didn't even kill that idiot from the Ball."

Nearing the entrance Reborn slams the door open--damaging it irreparably, the Pesca Famiglia shall forever have a door with the imprint of the World's Greatest Hitman's extremely expensive shoes--and skid to a stop,

"Someone stole the car."

There is a deadly silence as the killing intent around the hitman gathers into a nearly visible aura of imminent bloodshed.

Basically, Reborn is even more pissed that someone had the gall to steal his--also expensive--car and actually managed to get away with it despite the numerous traps he'd set up.

Nope, he's not concerned about the angry mafiosi that are catching up behind him, not at all.

"I guess we're going to have to leg it then. What a pain." Leon doesn't sound upset about the situation at all, well, maybe a tiny it, but not much.

"Leon."

At the sound of his name, the shape shifting lizard--child, he refuses to be classified as a lizard--adjusts his position of Reborn's shoulder to face the hitman.

He doesn't like the look that he sees.

"You can shape shift into a car, right?"

"Ummm...yeah? But I'll probably be sluggish for the next wee-wait, are you seriously considering making me shape shift into a car?!!"

There is the sound of safety being disengaged and Leon suddenly finds himself facing the business end of a gun.

"Yes, now hurry up before they catch up."

With an almighty sigh, Leon springs off of Reborn's shoulder, landing on the ground a meter ahead,

"Fine, you owe me twenty pounds of chocolate for this."

His form became clear and then shimmered like a mirage before becoming larger and wider. After finally settling on the desired shape, the glow abated and revealed...a neon green limousine.

Eyebrow twitching Reborn watches the door open automatically before climbing in,

"Does it have to be  _neon green_? And limousines are awful for car chases, not to mention with that coloring they'll see us from a mile away."

There is a click and the buzzing of static before Leon's voice filled the interior,

"Unfortunately, I do have to know the mechanics of what I am transforming into and a limo was the only car whose blueprint I have stored in my memory. That and anyone would see a limo speeding over a hundred miles down the road anyway, green isn't a problem, besides, it might hurt their eyes and throw off their aim."

"Whatever, let's just get out of here," Reborn presses down on the gas pedal, pulling out of the parking space before speeding down the asphalt road.

Soon after, a hail of bullets skitter off of the rear of the Leon-Limo, causing the speakers in the car to crackle in annoyance, 

"Owwww...that hurts you moronic, uncivilized,  _bastards!!!_ "

"Language. You memorized the map of the city, right?" Reborn swerves sharply to the left, narrowly avoiding another volley of bullets.

"Yes. You were the one who made me do it, remember?" Came the disgruntled grumble.

"You take over driving, I'll hold them off." 

"Ok, just one moment," There is a whir and click until the top suddenly slid open and the seats all flattened, forming a platform, " There, I just installed a opening on the top, you should be able to shoot from there, do you want a seat there so you won't have to stand?"

"Yes, make it a swiveling chair."

There is another pause as one of the seats from before snapped into place, 

"Done, tell me if you need anything else. Oh, yes, this is bullet proof if you're wondering. Also put on the seat belt, we might have to pull some complicated moves."

A smirk forms on the hitman's face as he points a rifle at the horde of vehicles behind them,

"A coffee, if you would. Espresso, no milk or sugar."

"Ha, ha, very funny. You know I can't make food."

"Oh?" One shot fired, the screeching of tires can be heard, "How disappointing." Another shot fired, a crash this time.

* * *

Meanwhile:

"What the  _HELL?!!_ You said you got rid of the car Alessandro!"

Said man is currently cowering from the bullets coming from a lone figure with a fedora speeding away on what apparently was an automated  _neon green limousine._

"I'm sorry, Boss! I don't know where he got the limo, but I swear I got rid of the other car!!"

"What the holy fuck is  _that?!_ Are those...?!!"

* * *

"Hey Reborn?"

The hitman doesn't bother glancing back and continues shooting,

"Yes?"

"I think we need a little more fire power."

"Fire power?" There is a foreboding pause.

"Yes."

The doors shifted and became walls, two compartments on either side opening up and twin machine guns extending from the interior.

Reborn's smirk became deranged,

"Oh my, you never told me that you could do this, Leon."

"I didn't know either... oh well, they're pretty screwed now. When do you want to open fire?"

 Cackling while he reloaded his rifle,

"Let the chaos begin."

* * *

 

"Mio Dio, hey, Marco, how much do you think he  _paid_ for that car?"

"Are you seriously questioning that when were all about to die?! Who cares how much he paid for that car?"

"I want to know too!"

"What the hell? Why?!! We're trying to avoid getting turned into Swiss cheese here!"

"Do you think he has his own personal mechanic?"

"Of course he does, how else would he get a car like  _that?_ "

"Are you two seriously going to do this now?!!"

"You know, I really want to know this mechanic, because anyone who manages to make Reborn use a neon green car must have an awesome sense of humor."

"Not to mention, they have to be just as strong or stronger than him."

"Think we can convince them to make me one?"

"STOP IGNORING ME YOU TWO!!"

* * *

"Leon."

"Yes...?" He really doesn't like that tone, it means many,  _many_ bad things happening.

"We need more fire power."

"What?!!"

"Explosive firepower, you getting what I'm putting down?"

"Already on it, how do you think they'll handle a bazooka?"

"I knew there was a reason I keep you around."

* * *

"First machine guns and now a bazooka? Can we give up now?"

"Who wants to bet rockets are next?"

"Not now Marco."

"Please Boss?"

"No, follow him and make him pay!!!"

"Hey, where do you think the green haired kid he was toting around went?"

"No way...are they the one driving the car?"

* * *

"We're approaching the highway soon, do you want me to pull the firearms back? That way we'd be able to avoid mass civilian casualties."

"...Fine."

"Alright, let's get this show on the road shall we? I wonder if I jump, we'll land on the freeway over there..."

"Do it."

"Fine fine, don't kill me if we crash."

"No promises."

* * *

"Umm...Boss."

"What."

"Er...they're now traveling in the opposite direction to us."

That's good isn't it? Wait, why did they turn back?"

"They didn't turn back...they...ummm-"

"Spit it out, Alessandro."

"They leaped over four lanes of traffic and landed on the freeway heading in the opposite direction..."

"..."

"He is the World's Greatest Hitman for a reason, Boss."

"Shut up."

* * *

"Well that was fun."

"S-shuuu-blerrghhhh-t u-up."

"Now, now, Leon. You had fun too." Reborn holds his pseudo child up to eye level, "You don't look so good, how does a hotel and food sound?"

"S-saave...meee."

"Now you're just being over dramatic."

* * *

Far, far away a week later in a lab in the middle of nowhere:

"Someone managed to make a car superior to mine? Unforgivable."

With that, the green haired scientist began typing with a renewed frenzy,

"I'll show them what happens when they try to usurp my title of Da Vinci's Reincarnation."


	26. Ball Fiasco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of Leon's Shapeshifting Ability and some Leo action! The Vongola Ball Part 2.  
> In which Reborn is just as capable of reading Leon and somehow they manage to make it work. Timoteo is done with Reborn's parenting abilities.  
> Drama ensues.

**[Entry 22]**

Previously:

_Timoteo’s expression softens and he smiles at me again because wow, this dude really likes kids,_

_“Let’s go to my study, shall we?”_

 

I discreetly glance at our surroundings as Reborn and I walk behind Timoteo to what I assume is his office, taking care to commit every detail to memory in case we have to come back here for an assassination mission.

My left eye shifts to a camera and begins recording, I’ll pop it out later to retrieve the tape. It’s nice to be able to regenerate organs, especially since organs are recyclable, at least, for me they are. Got shot through the liver? Irreparable damage? No problem, regenerate a new one and turn the old one into ammunition to pay back the idiot mafioso tenfold. Just don’t run out of energy or you’re screwed. And getting shot through the liver hurts.

As if sensing my less than wholesome intentions, I see Timoteo’s eyes slide towards my direction, our eyes meeting for a split second before I turn away.

 _“Holy SHIT, Vongola Intuition is_ legit _, Leo.”_

_‘Duh, how do you think they’ve managed to reach and maintain being the strongest Famiglia?’_

_“Well, hopefully, he likes kids enough to overlook that I’m literally doing my best to memorize the layout of his mansion in case we get hired to assassinate him later. That or his Intuition hopefully isn’t specific.”_

_‘If it’s any consolation, Tsuna’s Intuition is much better than Nono’s?’_

_“NOT H E L P I N G!!!”_

_‘Stop freaking out and keep memorizing, you are a_ hitman _, do your job.’_

_“Yeah, now you sound like Reborn.”_

But I’ve been totally corrupted by Reborn, so being scolded and told to be a proper hitman is actually _comforting_ somehow.

Reborn must never know.

_Ever._

Vongola Nono cracks a smile,

“I never pegged you as someone who would ever have a child, Reborn. Though I must confess myself envious, you have his complete and utter faith.”

Hey! That was not what I was thinking old man!!! Even though it is true…please shut up and stop embarrassing me.

“Oh~?” Reborn glances back at me for the first time since we’ve started walking, “Leon, I’m flattered~”

I send him a scathing stare because glaring at him here isn’t a smart idea, gotta present a united front, y’know? Although Nono probably knows already….damned Intuition. Why does someone else get “world hax skillz”? Am I not good enough to be blessed by the Lord of Awesomeness?

Oh wait...that’s Reborn.

 _Genetics_ don’t like me then, what I would do to be born a Vongola instead of a lizard in the Estraneo Labs—actually, no, I like being who I am. Besides, the Vongola are all cursed with awful luck.

As I was lost in my thoughts, Leo had enough of my ponderings and decided to take over walking and basically acting normal for me. We’d found out that we truly share everything, body, mind, and soul. 

Which is pretty broken if you ask me, but heeeeey, I’m just that awesome~!!

Or _we_ are— _I?—_ I don’t even know anymore, plural or singular personal pronouns don’t really matter.

Timoteo stops in front of a door so ornate that waves of judgmental arrogance practically ooze out of it. I’m pretty sure that if the door could speak, it’d be criticizing us for something or other with it’s nose pointed so high in the air that all it could see was the ceiling.

Yeah, I have a pretty active imagination.

“And here we are, please, do take a seat.”

I throw a “I’m watching you” look at the door, nope, I don’t trust it one bit. Turning around, Reborn had already claimed a chair, I see that there are no other chairs next to him, so I opt to sit on the thickly carpeted floor next to his feet. Crossing my legs, I lean back, Reborn’s ridiculously long legs providing a relatively comfortable backrest.

A Sun flame laced _warm_ backrest. Sue me, I’m still a lizard and I _hate_ the cold.

Timoteo, watches me make myself comfortable at the floor with an unreadable expression, hands twitching as if he wanted to do something. He doesn’t follow through, instead choosing to fix a withering glare at Reborn,

“What are you _thinking?_ What possessed you to _turn your own son into a will-less weapon?_ ”

Well, that was unexpected, who knew Mr. I-Love-Children-the-World-is-Sunshine-and-Rainbows could yell? And at Reborn, for that matter. My respect for this man has risen, though it has also dropped due to his apparent lack of intelligence.

The room’s temperature turned icy as Timoteo’s Sky flames flowed under his skin angrily and dropped like a rock when Reborn decided to unleash the full force of his killing intent.

Nono’s eyes widened as he quickly wrapped his flames around me,

“Are you _insane?_ Children are incapable of withstanding that much killing intent!”

Reborn looks surprised and for once, thrown off balance.

I shake my head, a little bleary from the sudden brightness of the Sky Flames assaulting my poor eyes,

“Ummm...excuse me? The only thing that actually is bothering me right now is your flames. Could you please retract them?”

Two sets of eyes settle on me with unwavering intensity, I can detect a megaton of concern hidden in Reborn’s and shock from Timoteo.

“You should be unconscious from that much killing intent….” Timoteo tries to explain weakly as he takes in my rapidly blinking but otherwise unbothered state.

“Yeaaaah, about that,” I say with a faked sheepish smile, waiting to drop the bombshell on exactly how _big_ of a blunder Vongola has made. After all, forcefully using your flames on a minor flame awakened or not without justifiable reason is _very prohibited_ in the Mafia.

“I’m actually not affected by killing intent,” I mime shooting a gun at my head, “I mean, I can sense it, but it doesn’t do much, whether it is directed at me or not.”

Reborn relaxes imperceptibly.

Timoteo has the appearance of someone who was presented viable proof that the world was actually flat.

“Also, I do have free will, Reborn is just as stuck with me as I am stuck with him. What made you think I was a will-less child weapon?!” I cross my arms indignantly at the last bit.

“But...you choose to throw yourself in harm’s way just to defend his honor without any apparent care for your own well being and even refused to take your own chair. You’re still sitting at his feet like a dog for goodness’ sake!”

Ok, now this was going too far, this man just way overstepped his bounds, he is soooo going to get it from yours truly, I don’t give a damn who he is. I close my eyes, eyebrow twitching and holding up a finger:

_“Hey, Leo?”_

_‘Shush, I’m eating imaginary popcorn. Entertain me further.’_

_“We are still recording, right?”_

_‘Oh,_ h e l l s _yeah we are still recording.’_

_“Awesome.”_

My eyes open, though one of them is still camera, and point with all the impetus of an offended lizard,

“Number One: I totally have free will. Number Two: Reborn trained me to be a proper hitman, so there was no danger, he’d have murdered that mafioso if I even got touched. And the rest of that Famiglia in retaliation too,” I shake a third finger at Timoteo, “Number Three: Before you say that training me to be hitman is immoral, take a look at the mafia, hell, take a look at Vongola! Would you rather he dumped me off on some stranger’s doorstep? Or have a civilian child with no means to protect themselves follow them around?”

“He should have known the consequences of having a child in the first place, it’s irresponsible of him”

Reborn decides this is a good time to interject before I work myself into a tantrum,

“Leon is adopted. I found him in the Etraneo Labs on a mission.”

“Oh.”

I facepalm,

“Yeah, ‘ _oh’._ He was nice enough to stop them from suffocating me to death.”

Vongola Nono sits back down with a start,

“My apologies for jumping to conclusions.”

Reborn ignores him,

“It would seem I owe you thirty pounds of chocolate, Leon.”

“Nah, more like a hundred.”

“Oh?”

“You’ll see.”

An unnerving grin stretches across my face, causing Timoteo to observe me with more than a little apprehension and worry.

 _“Oh_ yeah _, Reborn will_ s e e. _”_

_‘Literally.’_

_“Yup~! He’ll be so proud, we finally got incriminating blackmail against the head of the Vongola.”_

_‘Stop celebrating, look at Nono, his Intuition is going haywire and you haven’t made it out of here yet.’_

_“Oh, shit.”_

_‘Turn the eye back but keep the memory card in it, he can’t do anything unless he wants to take out your very much alive eye.’_

_“I’ll be blind in that eye due to the memory card messing with the nerve system, what if he notices?”_

_‘Bluff and pretend like your life depends on it, if it comes down to it, absorb the memory card back into yourself, better to lose the blackmail than have it revealed that you were taping the entire time without permission. Or move it to some other part of the body and make sure he only scans the eye.’_

_“If it comes down to it, I’ll destroy the evidence... His Intuition can’t be good enough for him to figure out my ability. He just thinks I’m a Mist...so he’ll be looking for Mist flames in that eye.”_

_‘Yeah, he’ll ask to run a scan of you with his Sky flames Leon, and discover that you_ have no flames. _’_

_“Shit, shit, shit, then how do I explain how I shot the other dude with the dart? Besides, the mafia is all about information, he better not figure out I have no flames, that’s a breach of our security!”_

_‘We are not a criminal organization, Leon, we are a hitman and child duo.’_

_“Hey, I am a hitman too! Anyway, any party that includes more than one person counts as a group, we are technically an organization consisting of two people. Either way, he can’t find out!”_

“Leon? May I check your left eye for a moment?”

_“SHIIIIIIT, what about the weird glimmer thing that happens when I shift? He’ll definitely notice!”_

_‘Try to do it while you blink and pump more energy into it to make it go faster.’_

_“Ok, caaallllm, you got this,_ I _got this. We can do this.”_

I blink, pumping energy into my left eye, hoping that it doesn’t glow through the eyelid and that the light in the room is bright enough to mask it if it does glow to brightly.

“Sure, Timoteo, but why?” I feign ignorance, also placing a subtle probe for information, I must find out how much his Intuition is telling him.

“Ahh..my Intuition tells me that there is something wrong with it.”

“Wrong? Leon, what is the matter?” Reborn’s eyes are narrowed.

_‘Shoot, Reborn might blow our cover Leon, he knows we are not visually impaired in any way, shape, or form since he tested our sight when we began sniper training.’_

_“Well, hopefully, he gets my ‘go along with it’ vibes...come on, we went on so many missions together, Reborn has to have some kind of sixth sense that pertains to us...right?!”_

_‘That’s a big if, Leon, even if this_ is _Reborn we are talking about.’_

“Nothing out of the norm, Reborn.” And technically, that it not a lie. I use my eyes as cameras all the time and it is perfectly normal for me to hide things in my body, my shifting ability helps with all of that. So I wasn’t lying.

And Intuition can’t pick up on it.

Only Tsuna’s can tell if someone isn’t entirely truthful, right?!

“I’d still like to take a look at it, if I may.” Everyone knew that wasn’t a request, despite how it was worded.

“Alright.” I open both eyes wide and engage in a staring contest with the Vongola head as he reaches to tilt my head at a better angle.

_“One, two, one two...you are a rock, you do not have emotions, you do not feel, you are calm...you are…”_

_“_ **_Blank._ ** _”_

“May I use my flames to scan your eye?”

**Questioning Input...**

**Keywords Determined: Flame Scan**

**Retrieving Information…**

**Result: Mafia Law dictates the need for permission before using flames on a minor in non-hostile situations.**

**Analyzing current atmosphere...**

**Current atmosphere: Tense but non-hostile.**

**Conclusion: Permission for scan can be granted.**

**Weighing options…**

**Result: “No” is equivalent to defiance, which can have negative impacts. May result in forceful scan. Factors included are: Authority figure, Danger levels, etc.**

**“Yes” is equivalent to compliance, can increase likability with Individual. Increased risk of Individual detecting Memory Card. Chance of Negotiation. Factors included are: Authority figure, Danger levels, etc.**

**Choice: “Yes”**

**Constructing Response to Input…**

**Response:**

“Well...it’s nice that you _asked_ this time...You do know that last time was not authorized, right? Since you didn’t have permission from yours truly or Reborn. That’s because the Flames might have negative impacts on the psyche of children right?”

“Yes...last time was uncalled for, I apologize for my actions. Do you consent or no?”

**Analyzing Individual’s Response..**

**Tone detected: Individual is impatient and tense. Cautionary measures are now in effect.**

**Negotiation in effect**

**Constructing Response…**

**Response choices:**

**“Fine, I do consent, but on one condition that you only scan the eye.” May increase Suspicion**

**“Fine, but can you limit it to the eye, please? I’m not too fond of foreign sky flames or unfamiliar flames in general...the Extraneo Labs made sure of that.” Increases Sympathy Factor from Individual, lowers Suspicion**

**“Fine.” Chance of Memory Card discovered exceeds Cautionary Levels**

**Choice:**

“Fine, but can you limit it to the eye, please? I’m not too fond of foreign sky flames or unfamiliar flames in general...the Extraneo Labs made sure of that.”

**Shift Ability Activated…**

**Item Memory Card being transported into parietal bone and locked in place**

**Transportation of Item Memory Card Complete**

“Very well, I assure you that this will be brief, I’m only making sure that someone hasn’t used you as a tool to spy on our conversation. There were many Mists in the Ballroom...none of them completely trustworthy.”

“I suppose that is true. Leon is a child, though I do have precautionary measures in place.”

**Flame Scan in Left Eye Detected**

“Leon, Terminate Defense Response.”

**Analyzing Authorization of Command by Individual**

**Defense Response Terminated**

**Flame Scan Concluded**

**Exiting Blank Mode**

“I did not find any traces of Mist flames...I must have misinterpreted my Intuition. Perhaps your eye is suffering a medical condition, Leon. What was the command for, Reborn? Terminate defense response?”

I blink rapidly, entering and exiting Blank Mode always throws me in for a loop and it takes a while for me to digest everything that happened while I was in it.

Gotta work on my transitions…

Thank God Reborn taught me how to become Blank, otherwise, Nono’s Intuition might’ve picked up on something that I said. It’s useful in situations that require strictly logical responses.

“I trained Leon to react violently to any circumstance that he comes into contact with flames that are not registered as Authorized.”

“I take it that these are the precautionary measures you spoke of?”

“Yes.”

Timoteo sighs,

“Alright, I will not take up any more of your time. Let us enjoy the rest of the Ball.”

I get up to follow both men out of the office, mind still preoccupied with organizing all the events that happened recently so I didn’t pay attention to the rest of the conversation.

_“Hey Leo, you think we should create a supercomputer in our head to store all the info we collect? Memories only go so far…”_

_‘Nah, just make it a hard drive with mechanisms to self-destruct and send all the information on it to Reborn if compromised.’_

_“Joy, more reading on how that works, I doubt anyone has even written a book on how to link the brain to technology in that manner, much less create those mechanisms.”_

_‘Our job is never-ending, we’d have to figure out how to accommodate the size change when we become a lizard too.’_

_“Ewwww, so much thinking and planning to do. That and wouldn’t it mess our brain up? Like cause abrasions or something, the brain is super delicate. Even we can’t recover from headshots.”_

_‘We can recover, it’s just difficult and we’d lose a bunch of memories and whatnot. If the damage is super bad then we are dead.’_

_“Why are we so OP?”_

_‘Are you complaining?’_

_“No…”_

* * *

 

"Leon.”

I look up from my book,

“Yes, Reborn?”

Reborn is reading his book—probably on Biology, he’s been obsessed with that recently—on the couch in one of our safehouses,

“Why did you enter Blank Mode?”

Looking back down at my book, I try to find a non-abrasive way of telling Reborn what happened,

“Uh….well you _see_. I was trying to smuggle a memory card containing the tape of our entire conversation in the Office all the way up until Nono asked to check our eye.”

“You were _recording that entire time?_ ” He actually looks up from his book to stare incredulously at me.

I lean away, making up my mind to start running if things turn messy, hopefully when I return Reborn would be less trigger happy and I’d just get a lecture, not that he’d actually hurt me buuuuut and angry Reborn is a scary Reborn. It’s better if he’s had many cups of coffee before I come back.

Yes, Reborn Stress Drinks.

He drinks coffee.

A lot. Of. Coffee.

“Ummmmmmmm….yes?”

His one eyebrow says hello to his hairline,

“And do you have it?”

“Uh huh, it’s still in my eye. Or rather, in the bone behind my eye…”

There is an unidentifiable look in Reborn’s eyes, I haven’t encountered this look before...I should start running,

“Leon, do you know what you’ve just done?”

“Gotten myself into a shitload of trouble?” I say from behind the once upright table that I have converted into a measly shield in case something does happen.

“Well, that too. But…”

I peek out from a corner hopefully,

“But?”

“You have successfully tricked the Vongola Intuition and outsmarted the Head of the Vongola, Leon. All at the tender age of one year, seven months, and thirteen days. I am so proud of you~”

Oh.

OH.

That was what the look meant.

Nuno, no, no no, NO, NOPE.

Reborn is inspired.

This is bad.

Beyond Bad.

Especially how he said that last bit with saccharine sweetness and—NOPENOPENOPE.

“This is where I run, right?”

“If you are going to make a strategic retreat, you do not tell the opposition that, moreover, I want the memory card from you first.”

I drag myself from the other side of the table while the left side of my face shimmers before the card pops out into my hand.

I hand it to Reborn,

“Soooo, does this mean I am not grounded?”

He laughs. Actually laughs.

“Oh no, you are **_so_ ** grounded.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made up a mafia law, expounded upon Leon's abilities, had some more interaction between Leo and Leon, fleshed out the relationship between Leon and Reborn, and did some world building.
> 
> Anyway, explanations on Blank Mode: (I know, very creative...)  
> It simply forces Leon into a state in which he is, for the lack of better words, blank. unimportant thought processes are stopped and an analysis of the situation and courses of action is made. I tried to represent how that would work and how Leon would think with the parts in bold. In this state, it can be hard for him to process anything other than the Input, which is what caused him to enter into Blank Mode. So anything other than life-threatening factors are ignored. It's a glorified version of extreme tunnel vision. Reborn has specific commands that he can use to get the attention of Leon in Blank Mode because otherwise, Leon ignores everything. Since Reborn is registered in Leon's memory(brain) as a trustworthy person/the only person he takes orders from, he follows through with the orders. Anyone else using them that he doesn't recognize as someone with the authority to give him orders will only get his attention, but they will then be ignored unless they are causing life-threatening conditions. (Like shooting him, for example) Reborn can order Leon to accept orders from other people while in Blank mode.  
> It isn't perfect, he can be broken out of it by Leo and other situations, He is also extremely disoriented and dazed when he comes out of it.  
> This state of being is capable of being learned by anyone though the effects may vary from person to person due to having different brains, personality, etc. Like for Reborn, it just shuts down unnecessary thought processes and helps him focus.  
> Leon's is just a rather extreme case in which he doesn't register anything else at all except for his Input. It can be useful and detrimental at the same time.
> 
> Reborn drinks copious amounts of coffee when stressed, he can technically say that Leon is driving him to drink...just that it's coffee. Als the parietal bone is behind the eye. it is about 6 mm thick so it can hold a tiny memory card. Why behind the eye? Nono's intuition can still tell where the general location of the card is, he'd definitely notice if it went from head to foot, but not much if it's still n the general area of where it originally was.
> 
> I also pegged Reborn to be someone who obsessively learns things until they have exhausted all there is to learn about that subject, before moving on to another one. His current focus is on biology.
> 
> Sorry for being on such a long hiatus! I have no excuses. But I do have a longer chapter as an apology?
> 
> I shall update more often(hopefully) as high school continues to try its best to murder me with homework.
> 
> Criticism welcome and I live for your reviews...no seriously, you guys are the best.


	27. In which the authoress got off her butt and did fanart for herself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I did some Fanart for myself. Enjoy.  
> This should clear up what Leon looks like, hopefully...
> 
> (This is in no way shape or form related to the plot unless it is cosplay done by Leon or something)  
> Please don't question the earrings, they are actually very inconvenient on missions and get caught on things very easily, in other words, a pain in the neck. (or ear)
> 
> Happy very late Halloween?

<https://www.flickr.com/photos/160450176@N03/shares/W9NAuL>


	28. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the story takes for a darker turn and it is revealed that Leo is not just another version of Leon with a whole lot more salt.

**[Entry 23]**

“Ok, let me get this right: You received a totally not shady request from a totally not shady mist to join their little very much not shady organization to participate in missions that are most certainly  _ not shady, _ ”  I try to put as much incredulity into my tone and posture as possible, “Aaaaand! What takes the icing is that you  _ actually plan on accepting that totally not shady request!!!!” _

“As you said, it’s totally not shady.” Reborn smirks around his early morning mug of coffee, even in a relaxed situation, he still manages to project a particularly self-satisfied ‘smug-I’m-better-than-you’ aura.

The stick figure I drew in sharpie on that pristine white mug of Reborn shooting some poor fool with x’s for eyes partially ruins the effect. Perhaps I was a little too enthusiastic drawing the blood pooling at the bottom edge of the mug, it’s highly inaccurate to how much a bullet wound actually bleeds. 

I may have to improve my drawing skills.

Or my accuracy.

But that’s beside the point.

The point is that Leo mentioned to watch out for Mists asking us—well, more like Reborn and I’m just automatically included—to join any sort of organization. He was very vehement

that we have to accept but that I have to prepare for it. 

I asked him to explain.

He refused.

This is the first time that he has refused me anything, and it’s making me uncomfortable.

**Very uncomfortable.**

Because so far, Leo has only been helpful and kind to me, he  _ is _ me. There is no plausible excuse for him have to have any reason to withhold information from me.

* * *

 

_ ‘Hey, Leon?’ _

_ “Yeah, Leo?” _

_ ‘If Reborn ever receives an offer from a Mist to join an organization, make sure he accepts.’ _

_ “What? Why?” _

_ ‘The world hangs at balance.’ _

_ “Don’t give me that philosophical trash, I need something more concrete than that!” _

_ ‘Just do it. Also, start storing up as much energy as possible from now on, conserve what you have as much as possible.’ _

_ “What?!! Leo, you have to tell me what’s happening! What if this is dangerous?!” _

_ ‘It is dangerous, that’s why I’m telling you in the first place.’ _

_ “So this means you’re withholding other information from me?!” _

_ ‘Leon, my only goal is keeping you alive. Everything else becomes secondary.’ _

_ “What about Reborn? He’s important to us!?” _

_ ‘Correction, he is important to you. And while I will like to keep your happiness intact, he is not strictly required to keep you alive.’ _

_ “L-leo...how can you...just say that?” _

_ ‘...’ _

_ “Leo? Leo!! You have to tell me what’s going on!!” _

_ ‘...’ _

_ “Speak to me, goddammit!” _

* * *

 

He hasn’t responded to anything since then. My paranoia levels have skyrocketed and I am reminded once again of how much I rely on Leo. It bothers me, especially with how clearly he stated his priorities.

As if Reborn didn’t matter.

He’s no longer a friend, no longer the “me” that I used to know.

It scares me that we are the same person.

Which leaves me at my current situation, trying to convince Reborn  _ not _ to take the offer, I don’t care that Leo told me to do the exact opposite.

I have a very  _ Bad Feeling _ about this.

“Are they paying us enough for the job? They better be paying us enough for this since it sounds like a trap to me. Since when were Mists trustworthy? Especially unknown Mists—” I flail my arms at him in some manner of frustration, at least, I hope that is what it’s conveying.

“Leon.” Oh wow, Reborn’s facepalming.

“—You’re only going because they told you that you’re the Strongest Sun, aren’t you? That is definitely a trap! Don’t fall into the clutches of the Beast because of mere flattery!”

“ _ Leon. _ ” Reborn forcefully interrupts my dramatic interpretation of what must have happened.

“What?! I still think that this is a super BAD IDEA. Please note the caps, Reborn.”

He sets his mug down on the coffee table, expression irritated,

“Leon, you are overreacting—”

Oh, no! I am  _ not _ overreacting. I’m acting in righteous worry and a megaton of  _ fear because Leo knows that something bad is going to happen and whatever it is, it is BIG.  _ _ And they are not telling so I can't warn you... _

They don’t care.

They don’t care if your body ends up lifeless with redred _ red _ **_red_ ** blood pooling, staining the ground crimson.

They won’t be the one crying at your funeral…

Please. Stop.

Something must have betrayed my worry to be something more than me being my usual nagging self because the look in his eyes softened before he sighs,

“Leon, this is probably the biggest mission we’ve ever been assigned, and no, this is not about the money.”

“You value your fame more than your life?!”

“Why are you so convinced that I will die?”

“...”

Reborn reaches for me, I let him pick me up and set me on the couch beside him. Judging from his expression—is that a strained smile I see?—he really doesn’t know what he’s doing.

Normally, I’d tease him for being awkward, but today I just sit and stare off into the distance stonily, trying to stave off panic.

Remember to breathe.

One.

Two. 

Three.

Exhale.

Force yourself to inhale even though your lungs refuse to cooperate.

Hold it.

One.

Two.

Three.

Exhale.

“—Leon? Leon!”

I startle, having forgotten Reborn in concentrating on breathing, 

“Yeah?”

“Are you...ok? You’ve been acting strange for weeks, ever since we got back from the mission with the Beccio Famiglia.” There is hesitance, almost as if he believes that I’ll break like glass. Which is kinda funny since I’m pretty sure that possibility is out the window unless I turn into glass. Perhaps Reborn has finally realized that I'm still not even two even though my normal demeanor suggests otherwise?

“Yeah, sure! I’m great! Never been better!” Summoning the best blinding smile I shove any remaining scraps of terror to Leo for him to deal with.

_ ‘You should’ve listened to me, now all you’re doing is making him worried.’ _

“...” I choose not to reply to Leo’s flimsy attempt at comfort, even if this is the first time he’s talked to me in weeks. 

“I don’t think you’re telling the truth, Leon.” The concern in the air is almost tangible.

“Well, we’re still going, right?” I say, still smiling, hoping that he’s changed his mind because there is no way that I’d tell him the reason why I’m freaked out is because of a voice in my head. Well, having a voice in your head does call for some freaking out but not for the same reasons

“Yes…” So he hasn’t changed his mind...I can’t explain it to him and I can’t prevent him from going. Stuck between a rock and a hard place

I hate it when Leo is right

“Ok! Permission to buy a hundred pounds of sugar?”

“A  _ hundred?  _ You mean a hundred pounds of chocolate, right?”

“No, I mean sugar.”

“You never ask for pure sugar unless it is an emergency, even you hate eating plain sugar.”

“It is an emergency.”

“..Just what do you expect to happen on this mission to warrant a hundred pounds? The most you’ve ever asked for is one pound.”

“Oh? Just all out war~”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of an explanation on Leon and Leo:  
> Leo is old Leon, the person they were before they became a lizard. They have memories of their past life, including how they died. They know everything that Leon knows, but not vice versa. Leon knows very little of the plot and mostly relies on Leo to supply him with information. So Leon knows that there is a group called the Arcobaleno and the people in it, but he doesn't know what happens after. About the Arcobaleno, he only knows very basic information about them. Leo is the one that knows about the curse. However, Leo's priorities are different from Leon's, and so he's not telling Leon anything.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, have more fanart from yours truly https://www.flickr.com/photos/160450176@N03/shares/fAc83K  
> It's Leon photobombing a selfie because Reborn would totally take selfies. Don't question the timeline semantics or where Reborn got that phone....it might not be his


	29. Coffee Rush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How much does Reborn like his coffee? Very. How far is Leon willing to go for sugar? He's probably suicidal. Mix those two? The world sees the sun spontaneously combust, taking all life with it. (The actual sun, y'know, the thingie that hangs in the sky all day?)

**[Entry 24]**

As it turns out, Reborn did buy me a hundred pounds of sugar, which is now sitting in our living room. 

Spoiler: it’s actually a depressingly small amount.

So now I am faced with the distressing problem of somehow consuming all of this sugar without making a mess on the floor because Reborn will make me replace all of the carpeting if I do.

And give me a lecture, he’ll probably take several hours.

Which leads to my current situation: sitting on the living room floor staring at one hundred pounds of sugar like it holds the meaning of life in one of its grains but I’m too lazy to look for it.

I slap the top bag weakly.

It doesn’t do anything.

Maybe I should create a funnel in place of my mouth and dump the bag in…

I tear open one of the bags and pour the sugar into the newly created funnel.

Another spoiler: this was not a good idea.

The thing is...Reborn bought two fifty pound bags of sugar, so now I’m lying face up on the floor, staring at the ceiling and questioning my intelligence while I try to reinforce my head and throat.

Fifty pounds resting on your head is painful, my neck already hurts from trying to keep the entire funnel from tipping over. I might have to eat faster, scratch that, a lot faster if I want to be able to keep this up. Thank god Reborn isn’t home, otherwise he’d be laughing too hard to even lecture me.

Now I’m thirsty.

Really,  _ really  _ thirsty.

Because sugar is like salt, it soaks up a lot of water.

Water is hydrogen and oxygen, there’s plenty of oxygen in the air...I just need hydrogen. Oh, right! Fats have a ton of hydrogen.

Come on…you don’t really want to stay in that covalent bond, right? Now, where do I put all of these carbons? Make carbon dioxide? Nah, that needs my precious oxygen, I should keep them for later….I don’t even know...ughhh. The acid group can be recycled, nobody cares about them enough.

Water!!! Yay, now just dissolve the sugar….

Euuuughhhh...that is not something I want to do again, I stare at the remaining bag of sugar, oh well...I didn’t want to live anyway. It’s great that at least I won’t be dying of diabetes this way. 

* * *

“Leon...what happened to the sugar?”

“I ate it.” I bury my face further into the pillows on the couch 

“You—what?!”

“I ate it.” Should I get more sugar? That might be a good idea...how big is this job going to be? I should get more sugar just in case. Alright, I’m going on a sugar diet, anything I eat has to contain at least ten grams of sugar and a liberal amount of snacks must be applied.

“I was gone for _ fifteen minutes  _ getting groceries, Leon.”

“If it helps, I drank two gallons of water afterward.” I raise a hand with two fingers up in the direction that I hope where Reborn is.

“Leon, that doesn’t help.”

“I had to remake all of the fat molecules I sacrificed.” I can’t see his expression but I’m not sure I want to.

“What.”

“I knew the carbons would come in handy.”

“What.”

“I may have eaten your biology book.” I throw that out there to gauge his reaction, if he’s still computing or not.

“ _ What?!” _

“I’m joking _ ,  _ I ate your chemistry book instead.” Forcing myself to get up I run toward the door.

“ _ Leon, get back here!” _

“ _ I didn’t actually eat any of your books, just all the furniture in your room! Please don’t kill meeeeeeee!” _ Nope, not looking back, gotta go faaaaaaast~

_ “That’s  _ worse _!” _

_ “Ok, it wasn’t the furniture in your room either, it was your secret stash of coffee flavored toffee candies!” _

_ “...” _

_ “...” _

“Leon, you have ten seconds.” There is the sound of safety being disengaged. Then another.

I look back because this is  _ not _ normal.

Oh no.

Dual wielding? Of course, he’s capable of doing that…

“Seven seconds~”

And I’m off like a shot, though I doubt I’ll be able to get far...this is  _ Reborn _ we are talking about, maybe I should make him coffee as compensation? I’m pretty good at making coffee, it’s sort of a requirement of long periods of existing in the same space as Reborn. You either make good coffee, or you can be doing an impressive impression of swiss cheese.

And I believe I make good coffee, he’s stopped complaining about the amount of sugar I put in his coffee…

Maybe because I stopped adding sugar.

Moving on, maybe making coffee in compensation will help?

“What if I make you coffee for the rest of the week?” I call from behind the barricaded door of some poor store owner’s shop. The dude is standing stock still, hyperventilating from pure terror, Reborn has that effect on people when he’s pissed.

Was I ever that bad?

Nah, I got used to it after the first four days. Anything else got punted out the window after said hitman decided to make me one as well.

There is no answer from the other side.

“Yo! Sorry about taking over your shop, all customers, please remain calm. We only have the World’s Greatest Hitman on the other siii—”

The door splinters like glass, even though it is wood and it should know better than  _ to do that. _

I feel bad for these people, I really do. Not everyone is born ready to deal with the daily shenanigans of the World’s Greatest Hitman, especially when he’s on a coffee rampage.

I wonder what that makes me...a meat shield to fling at Reborn if he ever gets upset?

Am I the only one with common sense and sanity in this group of two?

“Alright, everybody~!! Time to evacuate the premises as the first and only line of defense has failed! Please don’t trip down the stairs. Addio~!!”

**_“Leon.”_ **

“Looks like my job is done here, ‘kay byeeeeeee~!!” I fling myself at the display window, shattering glass and knocking over everything in my path.

Reborn taught me to take the door when you have to, though windows make for great replacements in times of dire need.

Hence, my crashing through many panes of glass.

This is a circumstance that is very dire indeed.

I take off running again, latching onto a passing car before jumping off of it and climbing up the side of another building. Sounds of crashes can be heard below me as well as screams.

Did I cause a car accident?

Oops?

It’s Reborn’s fault.

“What is my fault?”

I freeze, did I say that out loud? Oh...shiiiiiiiiiii—

“Language.”

He’s right above me, isn’t he?

I look up.

“Checkmate, Leon.”

I let go and kick at the side of the building to gain some distance just as two shots are fired, taking some of my hair with it.

I snatch the hair out of the air, better not leave stray DNA hanging around, and crash land—gotta work on those landings—painfully on the roof of a car.

Dazed, I hear thump beside me,

“Work on those landings too.”

A hand grabs the back of my hoodie, picking me up like a bag before we drop onto the streets, I recognize the arm attached to the hand, the suit belongs to a certain coffee ninja hitman.

“I’ll make you coffee to make up for it?”

“For a month.”

“Deal.”

I get tucked under his arm, something explodes behind us and people are still screaming. Police sirens sound while Reborn continues walking as if nothing happened. 

“Hmm...we may have to sabotage the security cameras.”

I sigh and rummage through Reborn’s pockets for his phone,

“Already on it.”

News flash? It’s not actually a phone. He doesn’t need one and hasn’t required one for the past few months courtesy of one overworked lizard.

I can already tell what he’s going to make me practice shifting into next.

“Make sure to pay a visit to the police station later, hack into their databases, and buy some coffee beans.”

I squirm and try to get a better angle to put the “phone” back,

“You didn’t buy coffee beans on your trip to the store?”

“I did, but we are leaving soon, so we’re getting more.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Ah, but you’re also grounded again.”

“Whaaaaaat? I just got ‘ungrounded’!!!”

“Your loss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the unexciting chapter, there is more plot in the next one?


	30. Women, Arcobaleno, Lambs...Which one doesn't belong?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author gives up and the world is never the same.  
> The Arcobaleno finally meet. This chapter is mostly plot, more action and fun comes later??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rant is not part of the plot, timeline, related in any way to the story. Sorry for any confusion....I just got upset....at the internet....  
> Also! Longer chapter~!

**[Entry 25]**

I never realized how much I hate planes until now. Maybe it’s my lizard brain trying to compensate for being to human at times but it takes everything I have right now not to jump out the nearest window. The fact that I’ll probably die is a good motivator to make me stay put.

That and _Reborn_.

Reborn would murder me to oblivion if I abandoned him in favor of jumping out of a plane because I disliked them. He’d probably make it a point to take more flights, even unnecessary ones.

I’d tell him that plane tickets are expensive, especially for two people.

But I doubt he’d care that much, everything about him _screams_ expensive.

On that topic, people—usually civilians since mafiosi tend to cower _away_ —really like staring at Reborn. Which I can totally get because the amount of killing intent he pumps out naturally as breathing is enough to make the faint of heart _stop breathing_.

But the worst are the females.

I don’t get it.

He ignores most of them unless he has a reason to talk to them, namely: prying information out of them on missions, etc. However, the same can not be said about the women.

Case and point: the woman sitting next to me.

It’s a first class plane because of course, I didn’t expect anything less from Reborn—excuse me while I wail about the massive waste of money, for some reason I am really concerned about spending money excessively—(haha, suffer, Leon~ Reborn’s not about to stop anytime soon. That and old habits die hard even after death and memory loss)and there is a denizen of the female species sitting next to me.

Oh, I said that already didn’t I?

Let me reiterate for a third time: There is a female sitting next to me. (awkward lizards are awkward, Reborn is a bad influence)

Normally, I wouldn’t mind, but Reborn is sitting by my other side.

Speaking from experience, any female that got over their few moments of vocal inability after meeting Reborn is _insufferable_ . The longer they stay within a ten meter radius—yes, I _know that’s nearly thirty three feet_ —the more insufferable they become.

The first twenty women I had the pleasure of meeting after joining Reborn were amusing to examine, each of their reactions varied from insane amounts of flirting to being completely mute or doing impressive impressions of tomatoes. The twenty that followed after that were pretty much the same, and everything from that point became mildly concerning.

I swear, some of them started _stalking us_...well, Reborn, but since we are now basically a package deal I get dragged into his messes.

It only took me a week to find out that Reborn has a _fanclub in Italy._

Among the civilian population.

And the mafia too.

So I’ve developed a slight...fear...not really, I just get _jumpy_ … of women. Maybe I should have realized anything that involves this particular hitman is insanity because then I found that there are _men_ in the fanclub too.

Ok, I not going to judge...I am totally judging, they’re all crazy.

I suppress a shudder, who knew that women could be so vicious? From what fuzzy remnants I do have from my previous life, nothing ever reached this scale sheer lunacy.

Most women are just annoying, some of them are….particularly irritating because they soon realize that I know Reborn and try to use me to...I don’t even know what they’re trying to do.

This one here is one of those.

It’s bad enough that I hate planes and even worse that I ate nearly seven hundred pounds of sugar this week. It’s downright hell with this “lady”.

She obviously rich, I picked up on how to tell—not that it’s hard, the rich like to flaunt their wealth most of the time, the few that don’t are still easily given away—after observing Reborn and the Dons that he regularly interacts with.

I really don’t like to be excessively rude, but she looks like a peacock that’s been run over by a car, she’s also clearly at least a decade older than Reborn. While I like to believe that love conquers all and age means nothing… This...this looks like a match made in hell.

“Aww, aren’t you a little darling? What’s your name _child_? Come on, you can tell me.”

She’s currently trying to achieve something by talking to me with all the looks she’s sending Reborn, I just can’t fathom what. Reborn is resolutely focussed on pretending that he’s asleep. The idiot woman actually buys his little act and raises her voice even louder.

I wince. Her lipstick clashes violently with her unnaturally dyed hair,

“Come _on,_ you little...child.” She looks mad, I seriously doubt child was the word she wanted to use.

Her face contorts into a snarl.

I glance at Reborn beseechingly, not that he’s the knight in shining armour type but I put up with his insanity all the time _why can’t he just rescue me already._

Maybe he’s actually asleep, which I highly doubt, he’s a light sleeper and this woman is _loud_.

Perhaps my “save me” vibes aren’t strong enough?

Or is he secretly amused at my suffering?

Fine, see if I ever talk to him ever again.

One of his eyes cracks open slightly and I swear he _smirked_ as the arm he has draped around me tightens slightly.

Shoving my increasing levels of anxiety and spiteful rage down into a box and tossing it at Leo, I turn back to the oh so kind lady and plaster on the most kind smile I have in my arsenal.

“Oh, hi there~!! I never even noticed you!” I place a hand on my cheek, still smiling but this time adding my own killing intent into the air, not as potent as Reborn’s and non-existent when I’m not making a conscious effort, but it’s _something_.

Besides, if I really have no options, I’ll just crawl onto Reborn’s lap and force him to deal with it. He might not be happy with me doing that but he deserves it for being a jerk.

And I thought his serious case of jerk had been fixed.

Turns out I need to reevaluate my diagnosis to a terminal case of jerk.

“A-ah, hello there little one..”

Wow, female stubborness is a force to be reckoned with, the killing intent levels in the plane is enough to have everyone in the room openly stare at us in increasing levels of terror. She’s practically sweating buckets, her clothes already taking damage.

“Why, yes! You asked me something~??” I tilt my head to the side.

“W-what’s, your n-name?” Her voice shakes and stutters, sounding considerably more faint as she continues, “And the h-handsome fellow w-with y-you?”

She has the gall to bat her eyelashes.

He has his eyes closed. Somewhere in the back of my head a small voice comments that maybe he has them closed because he doesn’t want to look at this cringefest.

Is it Leo? I wouldn’t know, we’re still not on speaking terms.

“Chiru? My name~? Oh, I have no idea! Was it Bob? Or was it Jack? Oh, I remember! It was Raf~! As for this dude, I have no idea who he is. He just picked me up from some place that’s none of your business and now I somehow work for him now.” Chiru? Chiru?!! What the heck, why am I spouting random noises now? Am I laying the salt on too thick? Well, gotta add some coffee with no sugar for extra emphasis.

“And no, Raf is not short for something, it stands for ‘Rude As Fuck’. So, what’s your name?”

She flinches back at my tone and glare, I learned that glare from a certain jerk that’s silently and sneakily convulsing in what has to be laughter.

“How _dare_ —”

“Shut up please, it’s only been ten minutes and I’m already sick and tired of you. And please, don’t tell me your name, I really don’t need a name for someone as insignificant as you.”

“ _You LITTLE_ **_BI_ ** —”

Many things happen at once: she raises a hand to slap me presumably, I dive onto Reborn’s lap, and Reborn grabs her wrist.

“Why hello, please refrain from physically harming my adoptive son, I am not interested in anything that you’re selling. Have a wonderful day.”

Did I ever mention a smiling Reborn is scary? It’s scary. Especially since if it doesn’t reach his eyes, so right now they look miniature black holes. What’s worse is that all the killing intent in the air has disappeared and that is just so wrongwrong _wrongwrong_ **_wrong_ ** **wrong**...

The woman squawks in alarm when her hand is released, immediately clutching it as blood circulation returns to her hand.

It won’t bruise, won’t want any evidence after all. And that’s difficult to do, I should know, I’ve tried. I always leave bruises. Maybe it’s the Sun flames?

“Now that is settled, Leon, return to your seat and stop doing an impression of a koala, you do not miss me that much so stop whining. I’ve literally been sitting next to you this entire time.”

“Papá is mean.” I say as I sullenly return to my abandoned seat. Reborn gets that I’m not complaining about his admonishment but having to return to sitting next to the monstrosity, he sighs,

“Fine, you can sit on my lap.”

Maybe he does have a heart after all, I use about twenty percent of my maximum speed to return to my previous position.

“Sit properly, or not at all.”

I realign my self, shifting to face forward.

The killing intent comes back like a curtain is dropped on a too bright sun.

It’s normal again. When did I register constant killing intent in the air to be normal?

I pull out a “phone” to edit any video footage, wouldn’t want Reborn to get banned from the flight. I frown when nothing comes up.

“There are none.” Reborn replies to my obvious confusion.

There are no external cameras on planes, huh. Who knew? (Yes I searched this up)

Nobody talks to us for the rest of the plane ride which is just as well because my nap was undisturbed.

Next time I’m going to bring something to keep me occupied, maybe it’ll deter people from talking to me.

* * *

 

I wake up to a hand shaking me and I’m moved away from the warmth. I blink, pushing aside the urge to curl back up.

“We’ve arrived.”

Shaking my head to clear away the last traces of sleep, I catch up to Reborn’s retreating figure, following a step behind him as I observe our surroundings. We quickly reach the exit, stepping down to the airport.

“Where are we going again? That mountain where the rest of our shady-as-rogue-mists-who’re-high-and-insane band of strongest people in the world are supposed to be?”

“For the last time, Leon, it’s not shady.”

“Uh huh, suuuuure. Totally _not_ shady.”

“You still haven’t told me why you’re so upset about this.”

“...”

“Leon?”

“Let’s just move on.”

“We’re driving.”

“What.”

“We’re driving.”

“We didn’t bring the car, Reborn.”

“...”

“No, I refuse.”

“Do you have a choice?”

“No...fine. But not a car, you’re going to have to deal with a motorcycle.”

“I know for a fact that you’re perfectly capable of shifting into a car without any issues, you ate nearly seven hundred pounds of pure sugar, not to mention the various sweets you’ve been eating non-stop ever since last week.”

“That’s backup for when shit hits the fan.”

“Language. Nothing will happen, Leon.”

“Says you.”

“Yes and have I ever been wrong?”

“No...but you are this time.”

“...”

“Shit will hit the fan, it is simply a question of when.”

“Leon.”

“Motorcycle or I run off and make us super late. I’ll keep the engine silent.”

“Fine.”

“Ok.” I know that Reborn is displeased with my decision, but I still can’t shake off the feeling that I made the right choice.

It’s also good that Reborn is steering because I have no idea where we are going.

What’s even better is that gas isn’t necessary since I can make the wheels move manually. The only downside? That means it’s difficult for Reborn to steer or slow down.

Not that it’ll stop him.

* * *

 

It’s not surprising that we arrive first, but it’s nice because this means that we get some time to ourselves to sort things out.

Like how are we going to deal with the rest of the people when they arrive.

“So...am I going to be a lizard, human, or motorcycle, or something else?”

“You’ll be a lizard.”

“Wow, you’re that worried?” So he doesn’t want them to pay attention to me and also keep me close to keep an eye on me if shit does hit the fan.

Which it will, I’m just not sure when.

But hey, I’m not complaining. It means I can sit this meeting out and leave all the political and diplomatic rubbish to Reborn who actually seems to enjoy it.

Like ewww, why does he like it?

I might even take a nap. There are only two places I take naps, on Reborn or on top of the lamp in my terrarium.

Sue me I like warm things.

Very warm things.

Like somewhere over 100 degrees Fahrenheit things.

Which Reborn and my super nice lamp are.

It’s a shame I’d probably burn the bed and the rest of the house down if I snuck a lamp big enough and hot enough into bed.

I hope Reborn remembered to pack my terrarium.

He better not have forgotten it.

I will leave him angry messages on the bathroom mirrors in fake blood if he doesn’t.

I’ll even pretend that I’m a scorned lover of his or something to make it extra embarrassing. I can be a ghost or a spirit, a malicious spirit?

I’ll think of something, I’ve always been good at coming up with stories afterall.

“Leon, hurry up.”

“Alright, alright.”

I latch onto his shoulder, finally not having to climb him like an inchworm, those days are far behind me for I have learned how to jump.

It’s more impressive than it sounds.

Try jumping more than your full height, scratch that, over two times your height.

Yeah, it’s not easy.

This is just one of many reminders as to how friggin’ _tall_ Reborn is, like, whyyyyy.

“You sure took your time, any longer and I would have just dragged you in regardless of your state.”

I slap him with my tail, not that it does anything, lizards have relatively weak tails and I wasn’t actually trying to maul his perfectly symmetrical face.

It would be a shame.

Such a symmetrical face.

I’d never be able to look at him ever again or I’d feel the urge to make the other side match.

So yeah, no mauling.

Reborn stops in front of the front doors, observing the situation before pulling it open. I hide on his fedora, turning one of my eyes into a camera again, unfortunately, I haven’t figured out how to compensate for the small size, so quality has to go.

It is also a good thing chameleons can move their eyes independently from each other. It’s freaky, but useful for explaining my one madly swirling eye.

Huh, maybe I can turn it blue and say I’m Mad Eye Moody.

Reborn wouldn’t get the reference, no one would.

Has Harry Potter even been written? Will it even get written?

I suppose I’ll just have to keep an eye out.

Ha, puns.

* * *

 

Reborn is bored.

This is obvious in the way he sits, how his breathing slows down to a crawl, barely there. He’s not asleep and I’m pretty sure all his senses are still completely focussed on our surroundings because sitting in front of us are supposedly the five strongest people in the world.

Six including us.

Meaning: someone is _late._

A pet peeve of Reborn’s: making someone wait or other people making him wait.

Conclusion?

The last person is going to _die_ courtesy of a bored and peeved Reborn.

No one speaks and no one has spoken since they’ve all arrived and sat down. All of them bear expressions of mild annoyance or are politely blank.

_All of us are waiting._

It’s also been _twenty minutes_.

Each passing minute causes the tension in the room to rise a little more. Considering that all of the people in this room are intimately familiar will murdering people and most probably not the most mentally sound people on this planet―being the strongest doesn’t guarantee sanity—our last member is _very dead._

And it won’t be just Reborn murdering them on sight. 

The front doors can be heard slamming shut, frantic sounds of feet approaching.

The sound of...sneakers.

Which none of the six people seated are wearing.

The only thing that came close are boots.

Reborn hates sneakers because they are loud, having the tendency to squeak on tiled floors.

“Ahhhhhh!! Sorry, I’m late...I got lost on a back alley, almost got mugged, nearly crashed into a wall, got waylaid by a fan, and finally made it.”

What I see is a worryingly young...boy, there’s no other word to describe him. He’s not even an adult and a civilian too by the looks of it. What is this insane Mist _thinking?_ His bright purple hair seems as if it’s yelling at a stray bullet to hit him. The biking leathers he wears offers little protection and his many piercings are liable to get caught in something and get chunks of his face torn off.

Maybe I’m overreacting.

But still, the way he shrinks upon himself the moment he comes in contact with the natural killing intent emanating from Reborn and the man sitting two seats away from him and the way the boy flinches at the cold gazes of the room’s occupants is concerning.

He’s a civilian.

He has no idea what he is getting into.

_He’s going to get slaughtered._

He’s one of the _Strongest Seven?_

“What is the meaning of _this._ ” Comes Reborn’s furious reply, he’s reached the same conclusion everyone else has reached.

They sent us a _civilian boy like a lamb to slaughter._

* * *

**(Ok, I have a mini rant here. HOW TALL ARE THE ARCOBALENO. Why can’t I find anything?!! Who is the tallest? The second tallest? What is the order in which they go in if they were ordered by height? Is Viper the shortest? AHHHHHHhhhhh… OK, moving on. A warning: The author is functioning on pure exasperation and spite. The rest of this is crakish and frankly somewhat terrifyingly monstrous.)**

There is a puff of pink smoke and a loud bang.

Various weapons are drawn immediately and are pointed warily toward the rapidly dispersing smoke.

The sound of loud coughing can be heard as an arm materializes, and waves away the remnants of pink clinging to the air.

Weapons are raised slightly, flames are activated.

What emerges….is disappointing to say the least.

A girl, clearly Asian, waist length black hair and plain looking blink owlishly at their surroundings. She blinks some more as if to process what is going on.

“Oh.”

“State your name, purpose, and drop any and all weapons you have. Right  _now._ ”

She turns her focus to the one who spoke,

“Oh...my.”

“I said  _now._ ” A bullet grazes her cheek, she yowls in shock and rage.

“Oww! I don’t have anything you insane m—”

Upon closer look, it is clear that she was dragged away from something important. Her hair is frazzled as if she’d been pulling on it and she has an exasperated look that’s rapidly being replaced by rage.

Then she stops. Recognition blooms and then…

The gathered I Prescelti Sette flinch, feeling impending doom drawing closer.

Her expression turns into incensed despair, a tinge of madness at the edges,

“You. You.  _You._ Do you know how utterly annoying all of you are?!!! For the love of everything evil and discordant, why is information so hard to find on all of you?”

“Mis—” the one in the red chang shan tries to be diplomatic. Keyword being tried.

“Shut it, not  _one word_. Nope. Nada. Nothing. You guys are the most infuriating bunch of people to ever exist and I wish I can just throw you all into the pits of hell—” She flails her arms wildly in rage, miming throwing motions.

She pauses, calms down a bit before continuing in a slightly softer tone,

“But I still love all of you waaaay to much for my own good and anyone who wants to take to away from me will have to _pry you from my cold dead fingers._ And then I’ll reincarnate and murder them to death.”

The only blonde in the group decides to break the silence,

“She’s….clearly insane.”

She turns to glare at him balefully before continuing,

“I said shut it! I’m not done!”

“I say we get rid of her” More shots are fired by the person with the fedora, all of them speeding towards their target with deadly precision.

“Plot Armor, ACTIVATE!! Whew that was close, hey being the author does have its perks.” The bullets drop to the ground as if they were thrown.

“Now you there with the fedora. I take offense to be shot at. Soooo, since I’m the author, you’re going to be bound to that chair. Don’t bother trying to get free. It’s impossible. Those ropes are made from my pure soullessness from sleep deprivation. It’s very strong.”

“Untie me.” Came the quietly seething reply

Which was shot down...immediately,

“No, you misbehaved. Shut, shut. I have a very important, can’t be delayed, world breaking question to ask all of you because the internet is awful to me.”

The one in red smiles placatingly,

“Ah...I suppose we don’t exactly have a choice then, pray continue, Miss.”

She beams brighty right back at him,

“Aww, aren’t you a polite one, Braid Dude? You have a name, I know, but you’re Braid Dude from now on. Unh uh, don’t make me tie you to your chair too. Then you can join your friend in the timeout corner.”

The room falls utterly silent, two of its occupants with death glares directed towards the girl.

“Now, arrange yourselves from tallest to shortest in a line please.”

The fedora wearing one is surprisingly talkative, maybe he likes the sound of his own voice,

“What.”

She flips her hair back, before placing her hands on her hips,

“You heard me, I’m sure you’re not all deaf. Honestly.”

Fedora is  _really_ talkative,

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m _tied to a chair_.”

A wave of her hand has the ropes disappearing, her eyebags suddenly becoming more apparent,

“There, now you aren’t. Chop, chop. Tallest to shortest let’s go.”

People stand up and move, compelled to obey despite their efforts to remain sitting.

The absolute power an author has is godlike afterall.

“Yay~ Ok, so Mr. Green-is-not-a-creative-color is the tallest...Ren-Ren is second, Braid Guy is a close third.”

“I thought I was Braid  _Dude?_ ” There is a smile with too many teeth and edges to be classified as a proper simile, but she appreciates the sentiment nonetheless. Even if it is only a thin veneer to cover up the anger beneath.

“Don’t smile like that, it looks like you’re about to murder someone, quite unbecoming on your also symmetrical face. But nah, you’re Braid Guy now.”

He doesn’t manage a response,

“...”

Ren-Ren decides that he is done with her,

“How do you know my name.”

Purple haired, probably the youngest of the bunch,

“Your name is Ren-Ren?!!!”

He’s given a curt and dismissive response accompanied by a glare, something that Ren-Ren likes to do apparently, glaring must be a hobby.

“Shut up lackey.”

“...yes Senpai.” Is the meek reply.

The author grabs and squashes Skull into a rib shattering hug, her friends have told her that she’s good at giving hugs...though they may have forgotten her tendency to mimic pythons and _squeeze_ ,

“Be nice to Skull, he’s the most well behaved out of you lot.”

“Why doesn’t his name get butchered.” Is muttered quietly.

But it is heard anyway,

“Blonde-hair-for-brains, I like him more than you. Anyway, you’re fourth. Lucy and Lal are tied for fifth, coolio.”

The shortest member sulks,

“I resent being last.”

Despite trying not to be condescending, the author fails and pats them sympathetically on the head,

“There, there, Vi-chan. It really can’t be helped. You’re only half a foot shorter than me. The average height for a twelve year old. Here have a strawberry shortcake.”

Skull sees the large cake being handed over to Viper,

“They get  _cake!!??_ I want some too...I’m the most well behaved, right?”

The author blinks, and hands him a cake box as well,

“Here, you get a cake too. I don’t know what flavor it is but it’s purple?”

“The lackey gets cake?” Fedora sounds offended, but that seems to be his default.

A cake is thrown at him, he catches it without smashing it much to the author’s chagrin,

“F _iiiine._ You get a coffee cake.”

“Acceptable.” Is the faintly pleased response she receives.

She turns to the still murderous man that’s also still smiling,

“You also get a mystery flavor cake for me being inconsistent with your name.”

He seems surprised, even more so after he tries a slice,

“Why is it spicy?”

She tilts her head to the side hands and shoulder moving up in a shrug,

“Dunno, mystery flavor and all that. Might be because someone dumped hot sauce in the batter by mistake when making it.”

A raised eyebrow,

“That sounds awfully specific.”

Another shrug, an innocent look thrown in for good measure.

“That’s probably why it is that alarming shade of red, it might have been chili powder actually.”

“...” She admits that perhaps she has made a miscalculation because he continues eating the cake after finishing the first slice. How he manages to stomach the unholy combination of hot sauce, chili powder, and a generous helping of wasabi is beyond her.

Oh wait, he likes spicy things.

She gives one final disbelieving shrug before turning to the one in the lab coat,

“You in the glasses get a green cake.”

“I hate mint.” is the first thing out of his mouth after the first look at the cake, a strong mint smell filling the room.

She only gives him a bright smile before chirping,

“You’re welcome.”

Turning to the remaining three she hands them a stack of three cakes,

“Lucy gets vanilla, Lal gets chocolate, and Hair-for-brains gets cheesecake because he’s cheesy.”

Stepping back, she is engulfed in pink smoke again, but not before she managed to get the last say,

“You guys are menaces to society.”

**(END RANT)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ren-Ren is a nickname, it's not his actual name...it is however based on his real name.  
> Poor Fon, he's actually one of my favorite characters. How I torture all the actors of this unholy play...  
> My specialization is crack, though I am trying humor and angst. Humorous angst?  
> Yes, I am describing myself in the rant scene. I have no explanation for the pink smoke, I hate pink. But hey random fictional Bazooka malfunction????


	31. Contemplation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter on Reborn's POV about his entire relationship with Leon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bring the angst! It's not really that angsty....buuuuuuut stuff will happen in the future.

**[Reborn]**

There are very few times that Reborn can say that he is truly out of his depth. With the appearance of a certain  _ irritant _ , his normal composure seems to have been thrown out of the window.

He’s supposed to be a hitman,  _ dannato Dio. _

And yet, somehow he can’t bring himself to drop them off at the doorstep of the nearest orphanage. He always reasoned that he could do it some other time when he wasn’t so busy...then he started taking Leon— _ Leon, _ what possessed him to give it a  _ name _ ?—on missions with him because he couldn’t leave them alone in a hotel, what kind of responsible parent  _ did that _ ?

He had to stop for a moment and think through the last few trails of thought, to see if he has finally lost his mind.

He’s a  _ hitman _ , not a parent.

He doesn’t even know how to raise a child.

He expected a lizard, not a kid. Not a kid, never a kid.

Things became better when Leon grew interested in his various guns, watching when he took them apart and cleaned them. Eventually, the boy—lizard?—was familiar enough with the weapons to take them apart and put them back together himself.

That was ok, perhaps he could raise a child...maybe not the conventional way...but he could do it.

He can’t do it.

He  _ absolutely can  _ **_not_ ** _ do it. _

He’s a hitman, he  _ kills people _ , not raise children.

But...he can’t deny that he’s grown attached to Leon after the first week. They have a way with being a literal ball of sunshine, hyperactivity, and sugar. 

He’s supposed to be a Sun, and this kid puts the literal sun to shame.

He can’t raise a child.

But he can raise a hitman. Being a hitman is all he knows, he’s good at it, it’s his job and he’s the World’s Greatest Hitman.

He can do that.

He’s not being selfish, he can definitely still put Leon in an orphanage….he just feels that Leon probably would miss him.

Totally. He won’t miss Leon, it’s the other way around.

Maybe when Leon is a little older, though. He’d hate to ruin the child’s innocence this early. Just a little longer.

A little longer.

He soon finds that this is not possible due to him having to take care of Leon between and on missions. It’s a foreign feeling, to have someone so dependant on him for their every need. 

The first thing he does after mission three is to obtain a library card and check out a towering stack of books on how to properly raise a child.

Only to be frustrated when Leon doesn’t match up to any of the guides for how a baby a few weeks old should act. 

He checks out books on babies a couple of months old.

Leon is nothing like them.

He remembers that Leon is still a lizard. 

He searches up lizard years and how it correlates to human time.

Leon doesn’t match those either.

He researches how to raise toddlers, there are some similarities, but not much. Besides, he has to be  _ gentle _ apparently, and that is unacceptable. If Leon is going to be a hitman, coddling him will only come back to bite later.

He pushes away the guilt of basically forcing Leon to a life of killing, that Leon could have been something else more...civilian...something happier.

Leon is happy, of course they are. Besides, they can’t miss what they never had.

He finally reaches for books on how to raise teens.

There are matches. Far more than those in the toddler section. 

He supposes that he can cross reference them, it shouldn’t be too hard for someone of his caliber.

When Leon manages to shapeshift into one of his more often used guns, surprise is an understatement of he’d felt.

He can work with this, it would seem training has to start a bit early. 

He throws anything and everything he can think of at Leon, trying to get the child to become stronger, tougher.

He knows that he’s asking too much of Leon, too much of someone who hasn’t even reached their first birthday.

Because barely a year old is too young for someone to die.

When he isn’t contemplating how to prepare Leon for the terrors of the mafia, the moments they spend together are comically domestic. 

Leon draws on all of his coffee mugs, increasing in skill each time. So he has Leon begin to draw their targets to help with memorization. After all, in order to draw someone, you have to know what to look at first before you can draw them. And if Leon can pull key characteristics of people and memorize them with just a glance, it would come in handy in the future. 

The far future.

Leon is strictly forbidden to grow up too fast.

Not that he tells them that.

He finds that Leon grasps concepts quickly.

Very quickly.

Almost frighteningly so.

Almost.

He ups the training to the level that most adults would go through, with his own flair thrown in of course, there is a reason why  _ he _ is the World’s Greatest Hitman and no one else is. 

And if he has his way, Leon will surpass him.

But that’s in the future.

The far, far future.

He adds this to the list of things he’s not going to tell Leon.

The list is growing by the day.

He ignores how Leon looks at him as if he hung the sun and stars. Stomps on tendrils of satisfaction and pride when he watches them improve.

When he gets an invitation to the Vongola Annual Ball inviting both Leon and him, he knows that he’s done the best he could and that they’ve run out of time.

They’re out of time.

He’s not stupid, he knows that it would get out eventually. But he also knows that because of his status and ability anyone who associates with him is in danger. Even more so if they are close to him. 

Normally he wouldn’t care because he’s careful not to be attached.

But this is  _ Leon _ .

It’s not like he can have Leon die like the rest.

He doesn’t tell this to Leon either, but increases their training in hopes that when the time comes, Leon will be ready to face whatever the Mafia throws at them and survive.

He might as well stop denying it, he’s basically adopted Leon.

There, he’s not a coward. He can admit his attachment.

The ride to the Ball is monotonous, but there are no mishaps. The two of them walk into the Ballroom and immediately everyone is watching them like sharks, looking for weakness.

This is fine, he taught Leon how to handle this.

Then a member of the Beccio walks up and  _ dares to insinuate he is weak. _

_ Unforgivableunforgivable _ **_unforgivable—_ **

Leon speaks up, asking for permission to handle the situation himself. Reborn isn’t an idiot, he knows that they don’t want him to kill the moron who still has the gall to laugh.

He relents.

Leon shoots the man, not with something so lethal as a bullet of course, but humiliates the man all the same.

Nono diffuses the situation by inviting them to his study. Reborn pushes away his shock when Leon addresses him as “Papá”.

He’s not proud or happy about it, dammit.

And then Vongola has the  _ audacity _ to call Leon a dog on a leash, Reborn did not train him to be a weapon but to  _ survive… _ because he knows what it’s like to be thrown into the mafia at a young age.

The terror, the sheer amount of will needed to survive.

How you have to crawl your way to the top by building a mountain of corpses.

He’s not subjecting Leon to that, that would be too cruel of him.

He has standards, even if his profession is killing people.

Reborn can admit that he shouldn’t have unleashed so much of his killing intent in such a small room, Nono doesn’t help with wrapping sky flames around Leon even though Reborn knows that Leon doesn’t have any flames.

Because Leon is  _ his _ .

Timoteo did not have the  _ right _ .

He probably would have lost his temper if Timoteo didn’t explain, rage quickly replaced by worry. 

But Leon shatters the norm like his usual self by revealing the ineffectiveness of killing intent, how they’re immune.

He manages to speak with Nono like  normal person, normal for him anyway.

And then Nono asks to see Leon’s eye.

His Intuition apparently warned him of something to do with Leon’s eye.

Leon gives his permission, the scan is conducted quickly and efficiently. But Reborn  _ knows, _ he taught Leon that technique. The fact that they’re using is is concerning.

Especially since he knows that Leon has perfect eyesight.

And two functioning eyes.

There shouldn’t be anything wrong with their eye.

It is only after they get back to one of their numerous safehouses that he asks.

Leon once again manages to surprise him by gaining blackmail material on Vongola which is practically  _ unheard of _ and successfully tricked the Vongola Intuition.

There’s no point denying the pride.

Leon still gets grounded.

Which equates to increased training and loss of chocolate privileges.

He’d thought things had returned to normal. 

_ Thought _ .

But somewhere after the run in with the Beccio Famiglia Leon withdrew into himself, skittish and concerned.

Their strange behavior reached its peak when he received the invitation from the Mist. He suspects their loss of focus was the result of staving off a panic attack.

_ He’s too young, Leon is too young to be like this. _ His mind whispers.

Leon then goes and has him buy a hundred pounds of pure sugar.

Leon consumes it in fifteen minutes.

Leon also increases the amount of sugary foods they consume.

Leon orders another six hundred fifty pounds of sugar.

Leon finishes those in three days.

As he takes his seat at the circular table, waiting for the rest of the members the Mist has invited…his mind  goes back to the question he’d asked Leon:

_ “Just what do you expect to happen on this mission?” _

And Leon’s reply, their eyes darkening while a self deprecating smile winds its way across their features,

_ “Oh? Just all out war~” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reborn slowly goes from referring to Leon as "it" like an object or an animal to "them, their, he, his, etc."  
> I can't find anything on Reborn's background, so I made one up.  
> Also, I wrote this in study hall in 40 ish minutes, please pardon the mistakes, I don't have a beta either....(How do you find one?)


	32. Darkness Rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter: The Arcobaleno  
> And a look into Leon contemplating his life with Reborn. Leon isn't as naive or as oblivious as he seems to be on the surface. whether this is a good or a bad thing remains to be seen.

**[Entry 26]**

Reborn is tense. Unusually so. While this is unprecedented, I can understand why he’s so upset. It’s an unspoken rule to not involve civilians in Mafia affairs.

Especially not something so high risk as placing said civilian with the strongest seven in the world, painting a large neon sign on their back basically screaming to be killed.

It’s taboo. _No one is that stupid._

Apparently the Mist was.

I crawl off of his fedora to curl around his neck in hug, it’s kinda hard when my tail isn’t long enough to reach the full length around and that it resembles me trying to choke him more than a hug.

It gets the point across just fine anyway, so I’d say it went well.

“Well, this is unexpected…” The one other person in the room emitting killing intent says with a smile…

Well, at least I think it’s supposed to be a smile.

It’s incredibly unsettling, and I believe they’re not even aware of it.

That might also be because of the large amount of red they’re wearing, don’t get me wrong, red is my third favorite color… But this red eerily reminds me of blood even though it’s a bit too vibrant a shade to pass for blood, fresh or not.

Reborn is still mad though, he has this thing against civilians and the mafia for some reason, though he never bothered to explain when I asked him.

“Who in their right minds thought _sending a civilian was a good idea?_ ”

“Tch, upset that a civilian is lumped together with you for being one of the seven strongest?” The man with green hair snarks.

I have the sudden urge to dye his hair neon pink and turn his lab coat into a migraine inducing disco-ball.

Reborn isn’t like that. He might be a jerk at times but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t _care_.

He’s just really bad at showing it.

But I’ll be nice to broccoli hair, the tension probably got to him and that is why he’s so snappy and rude.

Probably.

He’s still getting his hair dyed the first opportunity I find.

“Now, now. Everybody calm down. There is no reason for us to argue when we’re all on the same side. How about we welcome our last member and introduce ourselves?”

Wow, that is one puffy hat.

Kinda looks like a mushroom.

The kinda mushroom I hate.

I only like shiitakes.

“Reborn.” Reborn doesn’t offer anything else, still glaring daggers at the man in the lab coat while still keeping the purple haired boy in his peripherals.

“I am Fon.” Oh, so that is what Fon looks like as an adult...wait.

Wait.

Hold up.

I remember Fon, he’s the Storm Arcobaleno.

Ha! Take that Leo! I still remember some things, even if I only know him from what little information Leo divulged about the other characters.

Like Reborn, Leo was very talkative about what type of character Reborn was.

Almost like he was gushing.

Fon was the second most mentioned character after Reborn, but that makes sense since Reborn is the one we interacted with on a daily basis.

And yet, it is now apparent that Leo never really talked that much at all about the world we’ve found ourselves in. Never talked about the person we were Before. Never about us.

Not once.

But I do remember something…

“It’s a pleasure to meet all of you, I am Luce.”

Luce.

_Luce._

Traitortraitor _traitor_ **_traitor_ ** —

Leo mentioned Luce once and only in passing.

_“‘Luce is the Sky Arcobaleno. She was the one who betrayed them all.’”_

What did Leo mean by betrayed? What did she do? She seems so nice, and yet I can’t shake off the feeling of dread. Sickly sweet and toxic, her smile and kind mannerisms leave me on edge.

I _hate her_.

Blinking in surprise, I shake my head.

Where did that come from? I never decide that I hate someone before I even know them. First impressions aren’t everything but she hasn’t done anything wrong either.

Still, a voice inside screams for me to drag Reborn and the rest far, far away from her.

— **_traitorTRAITOR_ ** **TRAITOR—**

“Mou, my name is Viper, anything else requires payment.” Viper—why are they named after a type of snake?—offers with visible discontent.

“Lal Mirch.” Is all the woman says before looking expectantly at the soon-to-be-neon-but-still-green-at-the-moment haired man

“Hmph, you may call me Verde.”

Oh, so that is what his name is.

Boring and uncreative.

Just like the color of his hair.

“And I am the Great and Immortal Skull! I-it’s really n-nice to meet all of y-you?” The boy plops into a chair too big for him, obviously nervous and distressed, his voice quavers into a question at the end.

“As are we.” Luce continues smile, I suppress the urge to throw up, Reborn wouldn’t appreciate the damage done to his suit.

— **T R A I T O R...**

She clasps her hands together, I notice that she is pregnant, though it isn’t very obvious.

“Now that we’ve all introduced ourselves, I’m sure everyone knows the reason as to why we are gathered here today, correct?”

Immediately a hand goes up.

As if it were a _classroom_.

News flash: it’s not a classroom. It’s a meeting room for the seven strongest people.

It’s _painfully_ obvious that the”Great” Skull is a civilian.

“Yes, Skull?” Luce turns her benign smile towards him

“Why are we here?” He twist his hands nervously, “I didn’t really understand the invitation…”

“Figures,” And oh my, Isn’t Reborn _salty_ today.

Luce continues as if Reborn hadn’t spoken,

“We are gathered here as the world’s strongest seven. I am the strongest Sky, Reborn the Sun, Fon the Storm, Verde the Lightning, Lal Mirch the Rain, Viper the Mist...and you. You are the Cloud, Skull.”

There is a brief moment of silence,

“Ummmm...what does all that mean?”

“Mio Dio, he doesn’t know anything. How... _fascinating_. The strongest Cloud? Do mind signing this contract for me? Yes, your signature at the dotted line.” Verde pulls out a paper and pen from somewhere and presents it to Skull.

It looks eerily like a….it’s consent for human experimentation.

“Verde, no. He is not a test subject.” Lal Mirch snatches the paper away from him, tearing it in half before he can get it back.

Skull looks horrified at what he almost signed and edges away from Verde, who happens to be sitting next to him.

“So… you don’t understand?” Luce for once looks discomfited at the whole situation.

Finally, we can demand a refund for someone who won’t get killed ten seconds flat.

Do we get refunds?

“...no.”

“Well, this is quite the situation.” Fon, _no_ , there is nothing to smile about, wipe that off your face _now._

I don’t think he gets how smiling works.

Whatever he is doing isn’t right. Someone needs to tell him this before he manages to scare off all of the civilians on a mission.

How hasn’t he scared off all the civilians? Why isn’t there some newspaper article about a man wearing red clothing that hasn’t been mainstream for centuries with a scary smile?

People are idiots.

Moving on.

“I agree. This is inconvenient. I haven’t been paid enough to deal with his incompetence.”

“Viper, be nice.” Luce shoots a strained smile at our resident Mist.

“Are you paying me for that?”

“...”

“Then no, I am not going to be nice.”

I don’t feel bad for Luce, I really don’t. She deserves all of the trouble we are giving her.

Totally justified.

Even though she hasn’t done anything wrong yet and my hatred of her is irrational and misplaced.

She deserves it.

I think...

* * *

 

_“Leo?”_

No one answers in my head.

_“Leo...please say something. I’m sorry for getting mad at you? Maybe if we talk things out we can….I don’t know, get along again?”_

It’s still silent, I am reminded how much Leo used to talk, his penchant for making snarky comments about everything happening around me.

I am hit with the sudden realization that it is awfully lonely without Leo.

Don’t get me wrong, I have Reborn, but I realize that I know no one who is even remotely close to my age.

It’s sad.

But not surprising. My job is literally killing people and that isn’t a great conversation starter or the beginning of any deep and meaningful friendships. If it is….then the other party is insane or Reborn.

There was a period of time that I was slightly resentful that Reborn up and decided that I should be a hitman. Like, honestly, who is he to tell me that I have to do this?

Leo pointed out that if we want to stay with him, it’s basically the only way to avoid an early grave. He said that we’d have to make a decision: To stay with Reborn and suck it up, or to convince Reborn to put us somewhere else like an orphanage.

If I choose that latter than I’ll never see Reborn again and actively avoid him because actively seeking him out as a defenseless civilian would be pure stupidity.

I had to consider what I was willing to give up.

I made my choice. For better or for worse, I am going to stand by it. Besides, Reborn would get lonely if I decided to leave, even if he denies it.

For all that we are an unconventional and dysfunctional pair, we manage to make it work. It’s hard to be mad at Reborn once you pick apart the reasoning behind his actions. They make sense, in a twisted way.

It’s not his fault, he’s just trying to make the best of the situation, so who am I to complain?

That and I am aggressively attached to his chaotic weirdness.

He didn’t have to adopt me, but he did.

He could have killed me, but he didn’t.

He could have done many things, but he didn’t.

While he is cruel, he’s still a nice person. Which sounds impossible, but it makes sense. People think he is cruel, in some aspects, he is. I will not deny that. It is expected of the Mafia, otherwise you are liable to get killed. He has his standards.

In other words: Reborn is extremely complicated and while it seems that he’s a jerk there are still reasons for what he does.

Not all of them are good ones, he’s not a good person. But no one is a saint in the Mafia in the first place so it’s not that unusual.

Ok, fine. I spent this entire long-winded explanation trying to defend Reborn’s actions. The truth of the matter is that he isn’t a nice person. But he isn’t an evil person.

It’s really confusing. I try not to think about it too much.

Before we left the Ball, Timoteo had managed to pull me aside for a brief moment without Reborn noticing.

He’d asked me,

“Are you happy?”

I didn’t know how to answer back then.

Was I happy? Happy that this is now my life? I didn’t know how to answer, so I didn’t. I just stared at Timoteo for a long moment, he seemed to age before me. I can see what being in the mafia has done to him. The weight on his shoulders.

Am I happy?

I left him hanging, hurrying to catch up to Reborn again.

Am I happy?

So I’ve been thinking a lot. About everything that has happened to me since my reincarnation. Trying to figure out if I’m happy with the direction my life is going.

I’ve finally realized something. I’ve been looking at things from the wrong angle. I haven’t considered the other choice, only focussing on what I have. If asked the question of “are you happy” any person would admit that there are aspects of their life that they are not satisfied with. Anyone that says otherwise is lying. There is always _something_ , something to do or something to gain.

So I asked myself if I’d be happy being something else.

Do I want to be a civilian?

Would I be happy?

The answer is: no. I would not be happy.

I’ve already died once, while I may not know how or why...that means something. I know I died young, in my teenage years.

I know I was a civilian. There are more than enough clues to point to that.

I can’t waste another lifetime. I’ve already wasted one. One lifetime where nothing happened, where I stayed in the box, did what people expected me to, and remained docile.

Dying isn’t all that difficult or really that painful, it is the inevitable, the only constant of life.

Would I be happy simply repeating the motions of what has already happened before? Is what I have now worth less than that?

No, it isn’t.

It’s true what they say, “If thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee”.

So I know, there really isn’t a way for me to escape the mafia anyway.

My very birth was dictated by it, it makes sense for my life to be the same, willingly or not.

I can finally say to Timoteo the next time we meet,

_I am happy._

I am Leon, what has happened Before is in the past. What matters now is that I move forward, while I will never forget that I used to be someone else, I am different now.

_I am Leon, and I am happy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One thing to note: I dislike Luce. Unless anyone can convince me otherwise, it is staying that way.  
> Also, I find myself having to come up with personalities of all the different Arcobaleno...when I haven't watched the anime or read the manga to even know what their personalities are.  
> So...oops?  
> I hope you all appreciate the sacrifices I make for writing this fic, the research that goes into this. Because I have no idea what to do when my school finally decides to check my history and questions why I spent a studyhall searching up Italian swear words.  
> Hopefully, they don't notice. XD
> 
> (I use a school issued computer, lol. While I do have my own, I am extremely lazy, so I don't bring it with me to school.)


	33. Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rediscovering invisibility and other shenanigans.

 

**[Entry 27]**

The meeting continued in a similar vein, there’s wasn’t anything particularly interesting. Eventually, it ended and we moved out of the meeting room, went upstairs, and into the bedroom areas. There were exactly seven rooms.

Figures.

Reborn chose the one furthest down the hall.

He opens the door, the room is—unsurprisingly—bare. There is a bed, desk, two chairs, and a closet.

I shift back to being me—being a lizard isn’t really me, even if I am a lizard...it’s confusing—and leap at the bed, landing with a loud thud.

Heh, the rest of the Arcobaleno are probably wondering what Reborn’s doing in his room. They’re still not aware of my presence—as a human...humanoid?—even though a few of them did send questioning looks at my lizard form.

Reborn glared at them like the unsociable person that he is.

Don’t get me wrong, he can be perfectly charming, where do you think his entire fanbase comes from?

But all that goes out the window when he is upset...a certain type of upset actually. Anger doesn’t do anything.

Basically, he’s worried and something is putting him on edge.

“Yo, you okay?” I say from my position on the bed, its perfectly folded blankets a mess.

“I am fine.” Reborn bites out, setting his gun down reluctantly on the desk.

Sure. You’re fiiiine. Then explain why you have a gun and super clingy to it.

I tilt my head at him before sighing and pushing off the bed, bare feet padding on the cool wooden floor.

“You need therapy,” I say as I wrap my arms around his leg, it’s the only thing I can reach with my diminutive height, “Hug therapy.”

“What.” He says, as if I wasn’t clear.

I roll my eyes skyward, asking a god I didn’t believe in to give me patience that I also don’t have.

“I shall be your emotional support animal or something. Bet no one has ever had a lizard as a service animal before. And they say that a dog is a man’s best friend, clearly lizards are superior.”

“Leon, no.”

“Leon, _yes_.”

“We are _not_ going to argue about this. Where did you put our luggage?”

I point out the window,

“Up that tree over there where the other motorcycle is.”

“Up a _tree_?”

“Yup!” I imitate a palm tree and wave my arms breezily as if I didn’t just tell Reborn that he has to climb a tree to get our luggage.

Reborn wouldn’t be caught dead climbing a tree.

Laugh's on him I stuffed all the luggage in a tree, though it was a wonder how they all managed to fit.

I’m such a great son.

“Leon, you’re retrieving the luggage from the tree.”

I droop, guess Reborn isn’t going to climb a tree. All that sweet, _sweet_ blackmail.

Dropping out the window, I turn invisible, it’s been awhile since I last used this ability. To be completely honest, I kinda forgot about it.

Oops?

I wonder what my time limit is now, hopefully it’s somewhere near an hour.

Humming under my breath, I make my way toward the tree, invisible. The only evidence of my passage through the lawn are the bent pieces of grass. It’s really nice out today, the sun is shining, birds are chirping….on days like these, kids like me...should be doing something other than living in a mansion full of trained killers.

Ha, when did my life become this?

Oh, right...Reborn. Duh.

“...you are my sunshiiine...my only sunshiiiine~ you make me ha _ppy_ when skies are greeey~”

The suitcases refuse to budge despite my insistent tugging. Maybe this was a bad idea...scratch that, this _was_ a bad idea.

Crack.

Uh oh.

It would seem that I’ve used too much strength when pulling, because the flimsy branches give way, unbalancing me enough to fall out of the tree.

With the suitcases of course.

Owwwwww…

I spit a strand of hair out of my mouth, along with blades of grass and a couple of twigs. This was not what I woke up to do today.

Also, what in the name of the Nine Hells did Reborn even _put_ in these suitcases?! There’s no way they should be this heavy unless he put literal weights inside!!

I dig myself out of the miniature sarcophagus I built myself and stand up, shaking more twigs and leaves out of my hair.

Well, the braid is ruined now…

Rest in peace, I will miss you and Reborn will suffer from twitching eyebrow syndrome and bring you back to life because having hair that looks like a bird’s nest is like a literal challenge to his delicate ego.

You will be missed.

I’m so sorry.

Picking up the suitcases, one in each hand, I make my way toward our window, resuming my humming.

It is only when I reach the wall that I realize my greatest obstacle is not in fact getting the suitcases out of the tree but instead how to carry them up a wall.

Usually I’d just scale the wall...but that requires hands, hands that are firmly occupied by suitcases.

Oh dear.

I look up at the closed window, wondering if Reborn would help if I yelled up at him. Knowing him he’d ignore me or shoot me to try to shut me up. Especially since he’s in a particularly bad mood today. That and I am still not supposed to be here, technically. The Mist’s invitation was only for Reborn, not the both of us.

Sighing, two hooks appear in my back, I reinforce the skin around it and circle the anchor under my skin to wrap around my shoulders.

Otherwise, attaching the two suitcases would mean ripping out chunks of my skin, skin that I would like to remain connected to the rest of my body thank you very much.

I look back up at the window and then at the wall, mapping out a route to take, before i begin my ascent. With two dead weights weighing me down, it’s a lot slower than I would have liked, it takes me five minutes to finally reach the window sill. The fact that my center of gravity has shifted dramatically didn’t help matters.

I knock on the window, hopefully Reborn is inside, otherwise, I’d have to break the window and wouldn’t _that_ be lovely. Not even the first day in and we have to replace a window.

Stupid indoor locks. Stupid _automatically locking windows_. With locks on the inside. Oh, wait...I said that already.

Stupid _Mafia_ windows.

There.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait long because Reborn _is_ inside.

“Took you long enough.” Is the first thing he says after opening the window.

Not, ‘Oh, that looks heavy,’ or a ,‘Thank you.’

Just. Took. You. Long. Enough.

“I love how much I’m being appreciated here.” I grumble while climbing inside.

Unlatching the handles of the two suitcases, the hooks shimmer before dissipating.

“What did you even put in your suitcase?”

“Coffee.”

“What.”

“What did you think I put in there?”

“I dunno. Several hundred Kevlar reinforced suits?”

“...”

“Reborn _wh_ —you know what? I approve.”

“But of course.” With that, he walks out the room, closing the door with a click. I stare after him for a few moments before making my way to the door and locking it. Satisfied, I flop back onto the bed, the beginnings of boredom settling in.

What is there to do? Normally, I’d explore when we moved to a new safehouse that I’ve never been in before. But that’s out of the question here.

I can...test the limits of my invisibility.

For purely scientific reasons of course. This has nothing to do with the promise I made to myself about dying Verde’s hair neon pink.

I can also work on my sneaking skills by unpacking everything while invisible as quietly as possible.

Yeah, that sounds like something productive to do with my time.

I pull my suitcase closer to me, the smaller one of the two. Unzipping it reveals everything to be as I left it. Toiletries, clothes, a couple of books, and...pranking supplies. I cackle softly when I find the pink dye I was looking for. I stick it under the bed, hopefully Reborn wouldn’t look under there and confiscate it.

What am I talking about, he’d totally look under there, confiscate it, _and then_ berate me for not being creative enough to hide it better.

Typical Reborn.

I remove it from under the bed and stick it back in the suitcase, reborn wouldn’t go through my stuff. Probably. Maybe he would if he’s looking for something, but that is highly unlikely.

Alright.

I take out the clothes I packed and stick it at the bottom of the closet, not being tall enough to reach the clothes hangers. The extra pair of shoes follow. Four books find their way to the desk.

I tilt my head, what am I forgetting?

Ah, the disassembled gun in the secret compartment. I fiddle around with various pieces of the suitcase before a click and the bottom raises slightly. I dump the pieces unto the bed and assemble them.

I might be able to shift into a gun or parts of my body into one, it’s still nice to carry one.

And now I’m done…

What to do now?

Unpack Reborn’s suitcase as well? Speaking of which, where is he?

Oh well, I pull the other suitcase closer with greater difficulty than the previous one.

I find the zipper stuc—oh wait, of course. It’s never _that_ simple. If I try to force it to open, it’s liable to explode on me, or maybe leak poison gas? I wouldn’t know. But there is a specific order to how one should open it.

Can I shake it to see if there any loose pieces? Nah, that would be bad, I’m still not sure if there aren’t explosives.

I prod the suitcase. Nothing happens.

I pull on a strap, only to take my hand back quickly as a blade whips out.

That was close.

Oh, this will be _fun~_

* * *

 

**[Reborn]**

He regrets his decision to come. That meeting did not go well, everyone understandably had their guards pulled up to the maximum. Every person in the room was a threat and it could all turn out to be some elaborate trap that ends up with him killed.

Most people won’t care to get rid of a pet lizard, unless they are as paranoid as he is. Which they may or may not be. He’d feel a lot better about the situation if he knows for certain that Leon wouldn’t shift back immediately and attack the other members if he dies. Leon isn’t strong enough to take on all of them and survive, hell, _Reborn_ would be hard pressed to survive. Of course, there are many factors to take into account, the main one being surprise.

Great. So he has to be wary of everything the others do at all times.

Why did he think this was a good idea again?

He’d be more convinced of the trap if the Mist didn’t send a civilian and everyone else here was just as twitchy and on edge as the next person.

But Leon...Leon had never been so against a decision of his. Leon, who thinks that this entire debacle will go _seriously_ south and FUBAR.

Leon, who didn’t, and still does not, want to touch the mission with a mile long pole.

Leon, who despite all of their misgivings, decided to come along anyway.

The same person who decided to stick all of their luggage in a _tree_. When Leon had the time to do such a thing, he did not know, but it must have been in the moments he grew tired of waiting and began walking towards the entrance without Leon.

He had full confidence in Leon’s ability to catch up, but Leon stuck their suitcases in a _tree_.

The look they had when he discovered this fact was one of saccharine innocence.

Of _course._

But he’s not going to _climb a tree unless he has to so help him God._

So he sends Leon.

Leon comes back with twigs in their hair, scratches on their face, and a complaint. His hands twitch, the urge to fix Leon’s hair overpowered by the need to check the security of the area.

It takes a while due to the scope and caution. His paranoia levels are steadily rising through the roof.

What he comes back to is something that he’d rather unsee.

As per usual, it revolves around Leon. Everything seems to tie back to Leon somehow nowadays. All of his stress caused by one shape shifting lizard child…

That. Won’t. Stay. Still.

He thought that he’d _hammered_ caution into Leon’s brain.

It would seem that it wasn’t enough because he opens the door to see scorch marks all over the floor, Leon covered in soot, the window opened to let smoke out, acid bubbling in a nameless mass of... _something_ , and Leon wide eyed like a deer in headlights.

Leon is also covered in still burning patches of clothing merrily flickering away into ash.

Leon then has the audacity to give him a genuine beaming smile, holding up _his_ suitcase,

“Hi! What took you so long? I opened your suitcase!!”

“Leon, _explain why our room is literally in flames_.”

“Uhhhh…” Leon looks mildly sheepish, _mildly_ , “Well, I _tried_ to not set off the explosives...but that happened anyway.”

The explosives, of course. _Di corso del cazzo. (Of fucking course)_

Reborn is _not_ going to think about what the others in this building now think of him, surely they heard the explosions going off.

 _Surely_ they saw him outside of his room _when said explosions went off_.

He can’t leave Leon alone for an _hour_.

“Buuuut! I made sure to soundproof our room before that happened. I kinda expected to set them off accidentally eventually. I’m not that good at disabling your traps yet.” Leon sits up and begins to clear away the acid, ash, and puts out the flames.

Oh.

Okay.

Leon is going to drive him to drink...oh wait, they already have.

“I set up some traps too! On the window, the door to the closet, the bed, the to chairs, the desk, the ceiling, the lamp has a camera—it has night vision and a week’s worth of memory, the only place I haven’t set a trap is the entrance because you were still out.”

“Even if you did, did you believe that I’d actually be caught off guard by it?” He’s not impressed or proud. Nope.

Leon tilts their head to the side,

“Well, yeah. But you’d be annoyed because I didn’t tell you. The contents of your suitcase are fine, as expected. They’re not burnt or dirty.”

That’s a relief.

Still,

“You need to improve at disabling and identifying traps.”

“Okay~!” They say with alarming cheerfulness. It never fails to surprise him how oddly _happy_ Leon is all the time, even when they shouldn’t be, like their first kill.

One day, he will finally figure out what makes Leon tick.

“And stop poking through my things.”

“You do that to me all the time!”

On second thought, he’s not so sure he wants to know anymore. Despite hi acting as if he were the insane one, Leon is definitely the less sane of their group of two.

“I am your parent, it comes with the job.”

“You should stop working so many jobs at once then!” They say, as if that is a simple task, a choice.

Leon’s naivety is endearing at times,

“I am the World’s Greatest Hitman. I multitask to the extreme.”

“What. Wait. Oh _my god you did not_ **_pffft...haha._ ** ”

“What is it now, Leon.”

Leon is a strange child, of that much he is certain, they laugh at the oddest things and flinch away from other mundane ones. Like their aversion to cilantro.

There is nothing wrong with cilantro.

Leon refuses to touch it.

The one time he allowed Leon to eat something so plebeian as street food, they ordered tacos and then painstakingly picked off each piece of cilantro with a toothpick.

He’s not ever allowing Leon to get tacos ever again, if they do, he’s specifically going to ask for no cilantro. He doesn’t need to spend the next hour sitting on a bench next to a trashcan so Leon can ‘fix’ their taco.

It’s gotten to the point that if he orders food at restaurants or room service for hotels, he has to ask if anything has cilantro in it, and if it does, request that they don’t put any.

What is wrong with cilantro??

“You said ‘extreme’.”

It’s true that ‘extreme’ is not in his normal vocabulary, but that doesn’t equate to the amount of humor Leon seems to find in it.

“I fail to see how that has anything to do with you rolling on the floor, asphyxiating.”

“You won’t get it.” They wave a flippant hand at him, crawling off the floor to get rid of the acid before it eats through the floor. Leon throws it out the window.

He disengages the safety of a familiar gun that finds its way into his hand,

“Try me.”

They turn beseeching eyes toward him,

“Please don’t. I want to stay alive a little longer. If it helps, I can hold my invisibility for about an hour now?”

He stops, oh what the hell, Leon can become _invisible_?

“ _You can what?!_ ”

“Be invisible?”

Leon’s absent mindedness is going to come back to bite later, he _knows it_.

“ _And you didn’t tell me this because?!_ ”

“I...uhhh, forgot?”

“You better be thankful that I don’t want the rest of the group to believe I’m insane or I’d be filling you with bullet holes.”

“More like filling the walls with bullet holes, I’ve gotten pretty good at dodging. But please don’t shoot me. It hurts when I can’t dodge. A lot.” They peer at him from underneath their eyelashes, eyelashes that weren’t that long a moment ago.

At least they’re learning? Sort of?

“Very well, Leon come over here.”

“Why?” They say warily.

“So I can finally fix that mess you call hair.”

Leon relaxes,

“Oh, okay.”

“And so I can remind exactly why you don’t try to disable traps you are incapable of disabling.”

They tense up again,

“Knew that there was something extra.”


	34. Cherep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The answer to the question of Skull's Territory as a Cloud:

**[Skull]**

He knows to the very core of his being that he doesn’t belong here. 

Should have never accepted the invitation.

Should have never arrived.

Should have stayed  _ far, far away _ .

Something tells him that he didn’t really have a choice despite the Masked Man claiming he had one.

But now he is unfamiliar Territory with other people uncomfortably, hair raisingly, much,  _ much _ stronger than him. He’s not resentful that they’re stronger, it’s not that. But everything is  _ new, terrifying, and everyone is on edge. _

If these people who are so much stronger and more experienced than him are on edge, what chance does he have?

Less than a snowball’s chance in hell.

Skull is a people person, he likes people and does his best to convey that. Despite his best efforts, there always seems to be  _ something _ about him that sends them running away.

People say he’s  _ intense _ .

He isn’t. Really, he  _ isn’t _ .

He just gets really,  _ really attached. _

People also say that he’s weird that he doesn’t care about his own “space”, but that’s normal. As a kid and even as a semi-adult he’s never stayed in a place for very long. He’s no longer attached to places, there’s no point.

It’s people that are important.

He guesses he’s compensating by getting attached to people. But it’s logical, people can move but places  _ can’t _ .

He’s just used to packing up everything he has into a bag and loading it onto the back of a motorcycle. There’s a limit to how much a motorcycle can carry in addition to his own weight.

So lost in his own thoughts, Skull wanders out of the biggest house he’s ever seen. It’s also by far the nicest house he’s ever seen. The very thought is vaguely unsettling.

Like always, he naturally makes his way to his motorcycle, the urge to just  _ leave _ overwhelming.

He doesn’t, opting to stare at the painted metal instead.

Sighing, he decides to head back inside.

He’s only a couple of minutes to the door when he hears someone singing softly,

_ “...you are my sunshiiine...my only sunshiiiine~ you make me happy...when skies are greeey~” _

He stops and turns, searching for the source. The voice is childish, cheerful yet melancholic at the same time. Skull stops for a moment to rearrange his thoughts, cheerful  _ and  _ melancholic?!

That doesn’t make sense, but it also does. Wonderful, it's a dichotomy.

Huh, who knew that one of the members had a child? Maybe it’s the nice smiling lady. 

He’ll ask about the kid next time. Maybe. 

If he’s still alive.

Skull likes children, they’re almost always cheerful and smiling. Eyes wide with wonder and joy when meeting him, especially after one of his shows.

They think he’s  _ cool. _

Turning back around he opens the front door, catching the last few words of the song:

_ “...you’ll never know, dear...how much I love you...please don’t take...my sunshine...away…” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Leon isn't as sneaky as he likes to think he is.


	35. Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just like chocolate cake.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, Reborn might have been joking when he said that Leon could go bake a cake...alas, Leon took it literally.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, sneaky Arcobaleno are sneaky. Do any of them know of their extra housemate?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter in forever. I hope it is satisfying.

**[Entry 28]**

“Reboooorn, I’m boooooooored.”

“Go do something then.”

I flop off the bed, Reborn still engrossed in his book by the desk. It’s the third day of this hell and none of the members have done  _ anything _ yet. 

“But are you sure you want that? Because when I do ‘something’ it usually ends up with something broken or worse.”

“Yes, go do something and leave me out of it. If you so much as implicate any of your actions are related to me I’ll arrange a lesson on stealth and common sense.”

“‘Kay Papá, I’ll go make some food.” I say between yawns, heading toward the door.

“If you burn the kitchen down, I have nothing to do with it and it was a freak accident.”

Pulling the door open, I cheerfully reply,

“Of course, you were in your room minding your own business like a normal person~”

There is a snort from the general direction of the desk,

“Indeed.”

Invisibility has always been weird and I only have roughly an hour to do this, whatever Reborn may say about my cooking, I’m actually good at it. As if I’d really burn down the kitchen.

Honestly, he was the one who taught me, he should know better. I’m the one that cooks when he can’t be bothered to do it.

Which is code for he’s too tired to cook and grudgingly allows me to handle the food but is too proud to admit that he needs any help.

Human bodies have limits, no matter how much Sun Flame is pumped into it. 

Anyway, I wonder if Reborn would mind if I used part of his coffee stash to make cake, probably not much if I give him some.

I can do this in an hour. 

Most definitely.

Afterwards I’m letting loose all of my artistic creativity on Verde’s hair. He’s had it a long time coming and I never had the chance to carry out my plans before now.

Now the question is where the kitchen is located and how do I bake a cake without anyone finding out. 

Anyone being the rest of the Arcobaleno, which I realize are very skilled and most certainly capable of harming me severely if not kill me.

Scratch that, all of them are  _ definitely  _ able to kill me, even Skull. Just give them the right motivation and circumstances.

I might not have Sun Flames but being able to manipulate every cell in my body does have its benefits. Like not dying of usually lethal wounds and regenerating limbs. The one I’d have to watch out for is Fon. The attribute for Storm Flames is disintegration, if he disintegrates faster than I can regenerate, then I’m done for. I am 99.99% sure that if he’s serious enough he can definitely disintegrate me faster than I can regenerate. Let’s not even get started on martial arts. Reborn might have put me through physical training, but it was nothing on  _ that _ level.

Rain flames simply slow Flames and bodily functions down. I can manipulate my own bodily functions and I have no Flames to slow down. Unless they manage to shut my body down faster than I can wrestle control back. Then I’m probably deader than a doornail. To be completely honest, I don’t want to test to see if the Rain Arcobaleno has enough Rain Flames to shut me down. They are Arcobaleno for a reason, which means they can definitely at least put me in a permanent coma.

Viper would certainly be annoying, but none of the mental illusions will work unless it’s physically changing my brain signals or are solid. Solid illusions are trickier, but I can handle physical attacks pretty well. Unless they can possess me, then I’m really screwed over. Can Viper possess me? Is it even possible? What even are all the capabilities of each Flame anyway?

Verde’s flames are no threat unless he uses it on my body, or if he gets creative, but that’s a Mist Flame attribute...though he is a scientist so I wouldn’t put it past him to have some unconventional uses for Lightning Flames. He’s not very fast, preferring to use his inventions over his Flames. Which might become a problem, but he can’t do anything if he can’t catch me. Which is good, especially if I plan to prank him. Now all I have to do is figure out what his inventions do. Which involves coming into contact with said inventions without knowing what they do first.

Wonderful.

It’s Skull that is the second biggest threat, if he manages to get me with his Cloud Flames it’s pretty much the opposite of Storm Flames. I’d suddenly have too many cells to manage and cancer is an awful way to die. But if I do survive, he just gave me a whole ton of ammunition to throw right back at him. I wouldn’t even have to use any stored energy. But I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know what to do with the Cloud Flames he has so there isn’t much of issue.

Pretty sure. Unless he’s suddenly a prodigy, been hiding information on his skills, both, or worse.

Luce probably won’t be able to do much with Sky Flames. The rest of the information I have on her...rather the lack of said information, is worrying. I have no grasp on what other abilities she has and therefore she can not be written off immediately. The Sky Flame attribute is Harmony, and I have no Flames to Harmonize with...so that leaves whatever other skills skies have. I have no idea what they are...

And that’s just the beginning. I can’t handle most of these people—and by handle I mean run away fast enough—by themselves even when they’re holding back, it’ll be worse if they team up.

That’s also not taking into account many, many other factors.

The only good thing is Skull is more likely to stay out of it and Reborn definitely won’t get involved.

Well, he  _ would _ get himself involved if it ever escalated to the point that I may possibly die, but that’s about it.

All of my countermeasures are heavily reliant on the rest using their Flames, so if they don’t...I’m not exactly sure if it would make my life harder or easier. That and all my counters depend on me having a reliable amount of energy to use, creating non existent matter is no joke, not to mention impermanent. I do not want to wake up one day to find half my body gone because I replaced it with energy instead of actual matter.

Which means...eating questionable substances of the not sweet variety. Like the wall, I rather like the walls here, I’d rather not eat them solely for the purpose of keeping myself intact and alive.

Okay, I have a plan.

Just avoid all of the Arcobaleno at all costs, install cameras everywhere and plot out places to hide in the kitchen. If worst comes to worst, the knives are a viable option.

Yeah,  _ great plan _ .

This has more variables than I’d like to admit, but eh, to hell with it. I’ll just wing it like I usually do. I’m surprised that Reborn is actually letting me out of his sight, it doesn’t make much sense, he’s usually far more paranoid than this…

So why...?

Blergh, too many details and not enough moving, I want that cake and I will get it. I make my way down the hallway and the stairs and quickly locate the kitchen area. It’s not that hard, literally just look in all of the rooms until you find the knives.

And other cooking utensils but y’know... _ knives _ .

Anyway, moving on. Poking around the shelves and cupboards yields some flour but no coffee. So coffee cake is out...I wonder if there is chocolate. I pull out eggs from the fridge and sugar from a cabinet. Oh yay, there’s chocolate too, someone clearly knew what they were doing.

It’s a good thing that all the cameras I’ve located are all outside of the kitchen. Or it would make a pretty strange sight for random cake ingredients to be disappearing and reappearing randomly. Objects that I touch also become invisible if I focus, but there is a limit on how many things I can focus at one time, so it isn’t all that useful. Maybe I can hide Reborn with it on some infiltration mission. Hmm...ideas, ideas.

Why are there no cameras in the kitchen? 

This is becoming concerning.

I mix sugar, flour, and some other things in the “dry” bowl before preparing the “wet” bowl. Eventually I manage to get rid of all the lumps of flour and dump the chocolate in before checking the oven. The cake pan is inserted and all I have to do is wait.

Several minutes pass, I stare at the cake rising slowly in the oven...it’s progress is about two millimeters.

I sigh, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind when I came down here. Well, might as well make some renovations to the kitchen while I wait. Silently listening for any sounds and peering outside of the kitchen comes up empty. I wonder why there isn’t any activity here, it’s the third day, all of them should still be scrambling to try and one up each other with information gathering.

This is strange, but hey, I’m not about to pass up an opportunity. 

I let go of my invisibility and instead sit myself down in the top right corner of the room, shielded from the door but still the first person to see anyone or anything that comes through. Then I work on making some cameras, which is actually quite difficult since they have to be very tiny, and the tinier that these gadgets get, the more finicky they become. It’s even worse that I have too hook all of them up to some sort of viewing device so I can look at whatever they manage to capture later. 

Now I know why Reborn took that mission, he wanted me to have a go at all the blueprints that those people had lying around. Don’t get me wrong, mission thirteen was awful, but hey, I get cool new tech to mess around with.

Having successfully made a baker’s dozen of the tiny cameras, I materialize a knife and a piece of paper. Using the knife, I scratch a tiny indentation into the wall, using the paper to catch the particles created by the tiny excavation and I press one of my cameras inside. It’s a bit of a struggle getting it to blend in with the rest of the wall, but I’m an arts and crafts kinda person so it looks semi decent at the end of my efforts. I repeat the process throughout various vantage points in the room, keeping an eye on all of the entrances and exits, ears straining to hear any other sound. 

It’s quiet, too quiet.

But I’ve been kept occupied long enough with my self assigned mission that the cake finishes baking soon after I place the last camera in to position. The room is filled with the smell of fresh cake and I realize that I may have made a miscalculation.

The room smells like cake.

The entire time I’ve been here, I’ve been desensitized to the smell gradually so I didn’t notice until now.

If I can smell the cake...the others can too.

My eyes widen, I scramble to place everything back where I found it, cleaning up the counter and sink in record time, putting the bowls that I left to dry back into their proper place. I tuck the paper packet I have full of leftover wall shavings into my back pocket and grab the cake from the oven, still hot and burning my hands. I reinforce my hands just in time to hear catlike footsteps making their way towards kitchen door two, the one closest to the stairs.

I hold my breath, wondering if I’ve made any mistake in covering my tracks while shifting my feet into something softer and more silent. I make my way cautiously around the counter and through the other kitchen door, making a slow beeline for the stairs. Did I leave a smudge on the polished wooden floors? Anything in the kitchen?

The oven.

The oven is still warm from the cake, I just turned it off.

_ Merda. I hope it’s Reborn. Please let it be Reborn. _

“Mū, what is this?”


	36. Misconceptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Timoteo. You make the worst assumptions.

**[Timoteo]**

He can’t get Leon out of his mind lately. Despite not finding anything in his Flame Scan, he can’t help but feel he missed something. 

So when Reborn was exiting his office, he asked Leon a question, when the “child” was occupied with contemplating an answer, he surreptitiously scanned them with his Flames, a full body scan this time.

Nothing, no Mist Flames. So he let the two go.

Wait...no Mist Flames?

But the child  _ is _ a Mist, there is no way…

Unless they are such a strong Mist that they can pull one over the World’s Greatest Hitman and Vongola Nono.

_ Reborn, I have made a mistake...it wasn’t the child that was being controlled by you...but the other way around.  _

_ I have failed you. _

_ Are you even still your own person? Or a puppet controlled by a Mist powerful beyond their deceptive years? _


	37. Cake Rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leon doesn't register Reborn's glares as glares, just intense (insert emotion here [angry, disappointed, etc.]) glances/stares.
> 
> Also cake shenanigans.
> 
> Cake.  
> C a k e .  
> C A K E .
> 
> (I might have been hungry when I wrote this...)

**[Entry 29]**

“Mū, what is this?”

_ Shit, shit, shit, it's the Mist. Viper. _

_ ‘Leon, get out of there. NOW.’ _

I stumble slightly, surprised,

_ “Leo? Y-you’re back?” _

_ ‘Yes, now shut up and RUN! They heard you stumble.’ _

I start, quickly making my way to the stairs, and rushing up it, thankful for the carpeting that further masks any sound I might make.

I hear a crash behind me, and something breaking, strange noises echoing off the walls. Somewhere else, there is a shout and more footsteps hurry over. 

I continue rushing up the stairs, only to freeze when I hear hurried footsteps from the top of the stairs hurrying down, Viper is behind me, almost catching up.

_ “What do I do now? I’m trapped! I don’t even know which of the Arcobaleno is upstairs!!” _

_ ‘Calm down, you are still invisible, sneak past the top one and hide. Quick, before Viper catches up, we may be invisible but we aren’t intangible.’ _

_ “Good thinking, the top person will not expect someone running straight toward them.” _

Twisting to the side to avoid what looks like a tendril from an eldritch abomination, I continue to hurry up the stairs, only to see Fon nearing from the top.

_ So that was who it was...crap, he probably doesn’t need to see me in order to catch me. The man’s got scary reflexes. _

Panicked, I flatten myself to the side and maneuver past the Storm Arcobaleno, feeling something catch at my clothes and holding on. There is another crash and the sound of two people colliding and sputtered curses. The hand holding onto me loosens and I speed away, heart pounding and ready to explode.

I reach Reborn’s door, finding it open with a wide eyed Reborn on the other side. The door makes a convenient hiding spot so I slip behind it, deactivating my invisibility.

Reborn doesn’t look pleased, he gives me a ‘we’ll-talk-later’ look before stepping out where at least three of the Arcobaleno have gathered, closing the door behind him.

I let out a breath before shoving the cake under the bed, it’s still amazingly intact and uncontaminated. Finished, I hide myself in the closet, invisibility spent.

 

**[Viper]**

They aren’t happy...well, they are rarely happy, even if people pay them. But this new client takes it to another level, putting them with six other people who hold credible claim over “the World’s Strongest”. Viper likes being well informed, in this case, they’re not sure if it is a blessing or a curse to know so much about the other people, it frankly terrifies them. 

They might be the World’s Strongest Mist, but what if they can’t use their illusions fast enough? What if they run out of Flames? What if—

Is that...the smell of cake?

They make their way to the kitchen, confused. Perhaps one of the others decided to bake, it smells good, maybe they can snag a slice of cake. Hopefully it’s strawberry.

The kitchen is spotless, a little too spotless. The sink is still wet and so are the dish clothes, the smell of cake still hangs in the air.

And the oven, the oven is still hot.

“Mū, what is this?”

Clearly someone was here, though they seem to have left in a hurry. That someone had  _ cake _ , and now they’re gone.

Viper hears a scuffle near the outside of the kitchen, sounds of a muffled squeak of surprise.

That...doesn’t sound like any of the Arcobaleno, except maybe Skull. Skull does not have enough skill to sneak by the Mist. Viper  _ knows _ that whoever they are were, they were in the kitchen right up until Viper arrived, and now they’re outside.

Now  _ that, _ takes skill.

But  _ cake,  _ Viper has had a rough three days and sugar would definitely make life better, whoever it is has  _ cake. _

Viper will get that cake.

So they hurry out of the kitchen to catch up to whoever has cake with their name on it. Except there’s no one there. Seeing soft indentations in the carpeted stairs and they use their Flames to chase after the invisible— _ invisibility,  _ there’s no one in the mafia with that ability unless there is another Mist here and if there is what the  _ fuck _ are they doing baking cakes in this mansion _ — _ person.

Viper misses.

Cursing, they rush up the stairs after the  _ moving _ footprints, this is no longer a matter about cake but a security breach. They crash into something and it falls, breaking to pieces loudly. But Viper pays no mind to the damage, eyes still following whoever it is up the stairs. The ruckus they cause attracts the other members, someone giving a shout somewhere downstairs and another person swiftly making their way down from above.

It’s Fon that barrels towards them from the second floor, eyes somewhere else, following something neither of them can see. He catches something with his hands as Viper gets closer, but he trips and falls into them.

While this is occuring,  _ it _ escapes.

 

**[Fon]**

It’s the third day of painstakingly maintaining his accommodating disposition towards the rest of the people here. He’s not...resentful particularly, though it would be a stretch to say that he enjoyed their company. It’s just rather trying having to live with all of them constantly eroding away at his already strained patience. The fault, again, does not lie in them, but more in his paranoia. Though is it really paranoia if he knows that at least two of them would actively try to kill him if they weren’t supposed to be working together and have already been paid to cooperate? The rest may be indifferent, but that can quickly change.

Normally, Fon wouldn’t be bothered, it isn’t hard to deal with whoever comes along to get rid of him.

Perhaps he would have little difficulty with some of these people too, but they are all dangerous and he knows that he can not take on more than two of them, or one if it’s the Sun, at once for extended periods of time in a straight up fight.

And that, is what tests his patience. Patience that he must continue to preserve if he doesn’t want to start a fight.

Pulled from his meditation, he hears muffled shouts from downstairs along with a crash.

Have they already snapped? If so, perhaps it is better that he stay out of it...but no, if they fight downstairs, they may form alliances and it is better for him to at least observe if not outright join the fight.

He makes his way towards the staircase, on edge, listening for any further commotion. Upon reaching the first step, he frowns, it does not seem as if there is a fight, there are Mist Flames in the air and it sounds as if Viper is attacking something, but there is no response to their attacks.

And then he hears it, soft breaths rapidly getting closer and there are clearly small depressions that are moving up the stairs at alarming speeds.

_ Invisibility? _

Strangely enough, there is also the pleasant aroma of cake...chocolate?

He closes in on the intruder, hand outstretched to catch them, he grasps soft fabric only to trip on one of Viper’s Mist Flame manifestations. It’s instinct that forces him to let go and try to regain his lost balance. He hears Viper curse loudly and echoes similar sentiments inside, though he does not voice them.

This is...rather inconvenient.

 

**[Skull]**

He’s at the front door, just about to go in after one of his walks outside when he hears it. 

A loud crash and muffled curses.

He hesitates, should he open the door? Are they fighting? He won’t survive if anyone decides to take him out...but…

Curiosity killed the cat.

He carefully pries the door open, hands shaking slightly, and peers inside.

Viper is...what is Viper doing? They’re throwing strange tentacle things at air and chasing after something or someone angrily up the stairs.

And...oh...there’s Fon. He’s on top of Viper and they’re both rolling down the stairs. Skull winces, that looks painful. Both of them are probably going to be in bad moods after that. He closes the door again and sighs. Perhaps he should extend his walk?

 

**[Lal Mirch]**

She’s heard her fair share of loud noises in her years of field experience but she can’t help but give a shout when she hears a crash in the room right next to her and loud expletives falling out of the mouth of their resident Mist. She’s halfway out her chair and into the kitchen when she hears what sounds like people falling down the stairs and more curses before she begins to worry.

What the  _ hell _ are her colleagues up to? Are they fighting?!

 

**[Verde]**

The others are noisy and it is only the third day. He’d hoped that the tension between all of them would last and give him some semblance of quiet to work with. Alas, that was not to be as one of them decide to do what sounds like pointless destruction of furniture.

Another one of those dolts decide to shout and a third sounds like they’re tackling someone down the stairs.

Verde abruptly turns around and heads back to his lab, he’ll look to see if there’s coffee in the kitchen  _ later _ .

Clearly these fools need to calm down before he can get a decent cup.

 

**[Luce]**

Oh...they have gotten to this point? She hopes that Leon doesn’t get into trouble...though her visions tell her that the child will not be caught anytime soon. Instead, they will spark a raging debate on whether or not the house is haunted.

She gives a smile, Luce doesn’t know how Leon managed to arrive or what his abilities are. But, from what she has seen, he is fiercely loyal to Reborn.

Everything will be fine, Skull might be frightened by increasingly grotesque descriptions of how they’re all going to get murdered in their sleep, but everything is going according to plan. 

All according to plan.

Luce frowns...her conscience guilty. And yet, that is neither here nor there, guilt has no place in her mind.

She is right. She is just. This is for the greater good.

Sacrifices have to be made.

 

**[Reborn]**

The commotion downstairs is what draws his attention, he pays it no mind until Fon ventures out of his room to investigate—the first time in days—and ends up hearing Viper curse loudly soon after. Where is Leon? Knowing the kid, he’s probably the reason for the ruckus. He opens the door to hear Leon’s frantic footsteps padding towards him.

His eyes widen as the smell of cake hits him and his suspicions are confirmed when they reappear with a cake still perfectly untouched in it’s pan behind the open door.

The brat  _ did not. _

_ They did  _ **_not._ **

And...of course they did...Reborn was joking when he said that Leon could go make food. He didn’t think that the idiot lizard would actually do it.

Sighing internally, he gives Leon a ‘we’ll-talk-later’ glare and walks out to do damage control, closing the door behind him.

He hopes that Leon has the common sense to air the room and hide the cake. He’s not going to get incriminated just because their whole room smells like cake and someone forgot to get rid of he evidence. Leon also better not decide to throw the cake out, then all the effort would be spent for nothing.

It isn’t because Leon’s chocolate cakes are very good.

It isn’t because he wants cake.

Nope.

_ Affatto. _ (Not at all)


	38. Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insight into Verde's heads pace.  
> It's surprisingly crowded with lizards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is after Reborn goes to check on Fon and Viper downstairs with Lal Mirch.  
> They call a meeting after all injuries are taken care of and Skull finally located at the top of a tree.  
> Reborn has had time to retrieve Leon and check on the cake, which is still there, under the bed, uneaten.

**[Verde]**

“So...the Great a-and….” Skull trails off before continuing, “I-I just w-want to know...what _exactly_ i-is this m-meeting f-for?”

Skull looks nervous, not that it’s surprising considering he’s always jumping at something or other.

Verde stifles a sigh, he’d much rather be with his experiments, if this continues, he might begin conducting them on the people here.

Starting with Skull.

It’s a good thing that Reborn speaks up before he can continue that train of thought,

“We are gathered here,” The hitman tilts his ridiculous fedora for the seven hundredth time—honestly, what is with the lizard, “Due to both Fon’s and Viper’s insistence that our security has been breached.”

The two mentioned are silent, Fon gives one of his I-will-murder-you-in-your-sleepTM smiles.

Verde suppresses a shudder, what is wrong with the people here? Why can’t they be _normal?_

Lal Mirch interjects disbelievingly,

“I didn’t see anything of this ‘intruder’, besides, none of the security cameras have anything.”

“There are no cameras in the _kitchen._ So you wouldn’t have gotten anything,” Viper huffs crossly, arms coming up defensively as if they feel the need to physically ward off Lal’s skepticism.

“Yes, that is true. I managed to catch what felt like clothing before unfortunately losing my footing due to Viper’s...Mist appendages.”

“Mū, I take offense to that.”

“So you mean to say you let go due to tripping.” Reborn gives a contemptuous sneer at their resident martial artist.

“In my defense, I did not expect our intruder to have such diminutive height.”

“What,” Verde feels an oncoming headache, these people need to start making more sense.

“They were very...small, almost childlike. It surprised me.” Was the uncertain reply.

“Wait. H-hold up,” Wonders upon wonders, Skull seems to have grown a spine, perhaps he really should conduct experiments on the Cloud’s ability to evolve from an invertebrate to a vertebrate, “We’re talking a-about a k-kid, right?”

“An _intruder._ ” Is Viper’s scathing response

Flinching, Skull continues,

“The G-great Skull-sama heard a k-kid singing o-on our first d-day here...s-something about t-their...sunshine.”

“What,” is Viper’s eloquent reply, coincidentally echoing Verde’s own thoughts.

“I-I was going to bring u-up the topic at one point. B-but do a-any of you have kids?”

Skull shrinks in on himself when met with incredulous stares,

“I-I’m s-sorry I asked…”

“Come to think of it… Reborn, you have one, right?” Lal Mirch comments absently.

Viper snorts,

“There is no way, the Vongola Ball was just a rumour, you think he’d actually get a kid?”

“I have my doubts,” Lal examines the hitman, “I do agree that it is unlikely. Even if he did have a child, there is no way he would bring them with him here.”

“If we’re talking about rumours, I have heard that apparently he does bring this hypothetical hell-spawn with him on missions. They are the one who drives his green limousine.”

Verde hasn’t forgotten about that rumour. He still has to hunt down Reborn’s car supplier and get them to reveal their car secrets.

Speaking of which, where is Reborn’s car? There are no vehicles that belong to the hitman in the garage of the mansion.

Verde definitely isn’t noticing this because he hasn’t managed to locate the car and take it apart for his experiments.

No. He’d never.

Okay, fine, yes he would.

“How did Reborn arrive here? I didn’t see his car.”

“As fascinating as this conversation is, I hope you all do realize I am _right here?_ ”

“A-ah, don’t b-be m-mad S-senpai!!”

“Good question, Verde, I didn’t see a car either.”

Reborn gives them all an incredulous look as if he’s seriously questioning their mental faculties—he probably is, that insufferable bastard—and proceeds to lean back in his chair in a dramatic pose,

“The World’s Greatest Hitman has his ways.”

The lizard— _chameleon, he’s a chameleon_ a voice that sound suspiciously like Reborn snarks in Verde’s head—seems to take after their eccentric owner as they also peek around the fedora menacingly.

Well...as menacing as a seven inch reptile can be, it’s an adolescent Chamaeleo chameleon.

And now Verde knows where Reborn got his ridiculous name for his chameleon. The idiot named a chame- _leon_ of the Chamae- _le_ _o_ breed: _Leon._

The thought that the hitman might have considered naming his odd pet Leo irks the scientist. The hitman has horrible naming sense.

“So what you mean to say is...that you don’t have a car, I find that highly doubtful.”

“I do _have_ a car, Viper. Multiple. I used a special one to get here, which is why none of you can find it.”

Silence.

What the actual hell. How. _HOW. Who is Reborn’s car dealer and when did they manage to make collapsible cars? Wh—_

“I don’t get it, why are we on the topic of Reborn’s car again? Shouldn’t we be focusing on the supposed ‘intruder’ instead?”

Lal Mirch. A woman with sense, a rare species nowadays. Or ever, really.

Verde will find out all of Reborn’s secrets. Eventually. Sometime soon. Maybe in a decade if he’s lucky. The damn hitman is elusive as hell and infuriatingly competent.

“Supposed? What do you mean supposed? Supposed does not bake cakes and leave footprints!” Viper seems to have taken offense at Lal Mirch’s word choice.

“Honestly, if all they were doing is baking cake, I fail to see the issue. Maybe we should get them to be our cook instead.”

“You can’t pay me to agree to that! I refuse!”

“Viper, please calm down.”

“Fon, _no._ I will not!”

There is a pause in conversation as Viper glares—no one can tell, their eyes are always covered by their hood—at Fon in increasing agitation. They still haven’t forgiven him for falling on them down the stairs.

“Ah. I see.”

“Luce! We haven’t heard anything from you. Have you figured it out?”

Lal is trying, she really is. The woman may have common sense but she’s far too hopeful, somehow she has gotten it into her head that all of them are _‘comrades’_ now.

No. That is not true. Verde hates all of them and the feelings are mutual. Just ask Viper, they’ll charge a couple thousand for the answer but Verde is willing to bet that the answer is “yes”.

“Indeed I have.”

“What.” Reborn’s reply is flat, there’s an incomprehensible look in his eyes.

“Since none of us have any children, the house is obviously haunted by the spirit of a poor soul who died young. The song they were singing was You Are My Sunshine from what I can gather.”

The look in Reborn’s eyes disappears only to be replaced with disbelieving disdain,

“You are actually serious. Haunted?”

“Yes. Skull, the lyrics were:

You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

You make me happy

When skies are grey…

—right?”

“Y-yeah!”

Luce smiles and folds her hands neatly in her lap,

“See! Problem solved.”

“Verde, you are close enough to a doctor, correct? Please do check to see if Luce is alright.” Fon looks concerned, which is an accomplishment because Verde didn’t think the man was capable of anything other than a bloodthirsty smile. Or unsettling blankness.

Just...keep Fon far away from him and he’ll be happy.

And Reborn, he doesn’t like the hitman either.

Or Viper, he’s liable to try to experiment on them along with Skull and Lal Mirch intact morals drive him up the wall.

Luce is also unsettling.

Keep all of them away from Verde.

“Mū...no one is going to mention the smell of cake and the surprising tangibility of our _‘ghost’_ ? They left _footprints_ in the carpeting on the stairs.”

Viper sounds displeased that the others are taking the situation so lightly.

“I managed to grab them as well.”

Fon...is trying to be helpful? That is a new occurrence that Verde must document. Fon is a valuable test subject in how much a completely socially deficient assassin can learn social skills.

“W-we’re haunted?!!” Skull squeaks.

Lal Mirch sighs,

“Apparently.”

“L-lal?”

“Yes?”

Skull closes his eyes and speaks in a tremulous voice,

“W-we’re all going t-to die. B-bury me with m-my motorcycle p-please? I-I know that I’ll b-be the first t-to go.”

“Skull, you are not going to die.” Comes Lal Mirch’s concerned admonishment.

Verde feels that they are getting off track again,

“What we really need to focus on is Reborn’s unusually advanced car.”

“Mū, Verde, shut up, no one cares about your opinions on his car. Money is _far_ more important.”

Fon seems to have seen the light,

“Ah, I do recall that Luce is clairvoyant...perhaps she sees more than us.”

Lal Mirch’s hair is becoming more frazzled the more she tries to comfort a hysterical Skull,

“Fon, no. Stop. Skull is going to break down if you continue this ‘haunted’ charade.”

“My apologies, Lal, Skull.”

He doesn’t sound very apologetic, but they’re getting off track... _again._

“Why doesn’t anyone want to know about Reborn’s car?”

“Verde, stop obsessing over my car.”

Even the lizard—Chamaeleo chameleon, adolescent, probably about a couple of years old—gives him a disapproving look, he swears that reptile has it for him.

But it’s a lizard—Chamael-his brain needs to stop—and it can’t do anything to him. And yet, he still feels a chill run down his back.

What is his composure coming to? Verde refuses to be intimidated by a _lizard—_ Chamaeleo cham- _he gets it, his brain needs to shut up!—_ of all things.

“Also, Verde. I don’t suppose you are capable of creating a translator for Leon?”

“You want...a translator...for a _lizard._ ”

“He’s called Leon and he’s a Chamaeleo chameleon adolescent. Yes I want a translator, I’m curious as to what his thoughts are.”

Oh _hell no._

Why does he get stuck with people who are far better off in straight jackets and asylums?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reborn was genuinely getting nervous at one point, especially when Luce claims to know everything—which she does, but she isn't going to reveal anything—but he goes along with the "haunted" theory. No one actually believes in it...but they all kinda do at the same time. Except for Skull, Skull is going to worm his way into sleeping with someone so he doesn't get murdered in the middle of the night. It's probably going to be Lal. 
> 
> The rest are too crazy and Lal is the only one who pities him.


End file.
